true faith : NEWCASTLE UNITED FIXTURES – 14/15

by • June 18, 2014 • NewsComments (6)737


All fixtures here.

Well, just like last season we start the season facing Manchester City but only this time weNUClubcrest face the Champions at St James’ Park. Certain defeat and I’d estimate by the standard minimum 3 goal margin. The following week we are away at Vile Park for what might be a winnable game, but you never know. We have Palace on the last weekend of August and ordinarily you would expect United to beat Pulis’ side but the former Stoke manager has infused his side with some spirit and of course Pardew hasn’t.


The first derby game of the season is quite late on the 20th of December and strangely enough it is at St James’ Park. If Pardew is the manager for this game (and I have my doubts he’ll last that long) a win is not only expected but demanded. Pardew will be invited to take a midnight jump off the Tyne Bridge if there is a another defeat. The return fixture is the 4/Apr/15.


Its Boxing Day, so naturally, we are away from home. This time we will be breathing in those turkey farts at Old Trafford where we will face certain defeat to Van Gall’s men. We’ve got Everton on the 28th of December and given how the Toffees murdered us home and away last season this one could be a bit of a dampener in the party season. Staggerringly we are at home on 1/Jan/15 and we face Burnley at St James’ Park. We demand a win.


Our last five games are generous as we face Swansea (h), Leicester (a), West Brom (h), QPR (a) and West Ham (h) in the run-in. As we expect we’ll be looking over our shoulders for most of the season, this could be helpful. Or disastrous. Or neither.


Looking at all of the games ahead of United this season we are considering some bets.

Obviously we are looking for the exact moment Alan Pardew will have a nervous breakdown in the dug-out. This may or not be before he has attempted to nut a professional footballer half his age during a game of association football which he notionally has an interest in. It may be after a radge in the Milburn Paddock has performed a throat cutting gesture in his direct line of vision and Pardew can’t hide behind John Carver any longer.

Similarly, we are taking bets on when the Newcastle United manager will call one of his more esteemed managerial colleagues a “fackin old cant” or push a linesman. Or something we can’t repeat due to the potential of legal action.

Whether United will ever clear the first man from a corner, let alone score from a corner, ever come back from being a goal down, go through a game playing just one left-back or make a tactical change that works are all long odds as we look ahead to the new season.

In terms of fan rebellion, we will be looking for the game which will have the first mass walk-out and of course we will continue to speculate just how many fans have chucked their season tickets in and how far from the truth the club’s claim of  a 6% reduction actually is.

Obviously, just like you lot, we’re all really looking forward to the new season.


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6 Responses to true faith : NEWCASTLE UNITED FIXTURES – 14/15

  1. Greeny's Guitar says:

    The Ashley/Pardew coalition have hammered my inner core to a such a degree that the pulp that was my passion says “I don’t give fuck”.
    I really don’t care anymore.
    I think for those who do care this set of fixtures is particularly cruel in that Pardews diabolical derby record means that there will be many miserable Christmases this year. The bastard.
    No I don’t care.
    Same as I don’t care about the World Cup. I mean it’s just another London club playing in a foreign land.
    I don’t care.
    I used to pray that Sky who I hate with a passion would implode and footie would once again be the game of the people. You know 3pm on a Saturday afternoon and cup replays on a Wednesday night. But now they can just get on with it ‘cos I don’t give a fuck.
    I don’t care.
    I loved it when the team sheet had proper names like Simpson, Cowell, Brennan, Mitchell, Milburn, Macdonald and Whitehurst on it and I loved the fact we had the Robledo brothers playing for us. Foreigners who understood what the black and white shirt meant to the supporters and who become part of our community and gave their all for the cause. Now we are lucky to see a proper name on the team sheet and the foreign players in the main are just money grabbing bastards who don’t give flying fuck about the shirt they are wearing or the City it represents. But that’s in the past ‘cos now
    I don’t care
    I used to hate the cunts who said the cups didn’t matter. The worst has been that useless gobshite of a manager at St James Park. Don’t they realise that the lifeblood of football is it’s fanbase, not fucking Sky and those fans need to feel part of their club and that the club shares their ambition and objectives. Bastards.
    But now I don’t care
    I used to look forward to reading Peter Sagars one sided view of the political spectrum. I used to laugh at his left wing bigotry,which is just as bad as the other sort, but now I can’t be bothered. Carry on Peter you can rewrite history if you like.
    I don’t care.
    I used to think that sex was the best thing in the world but as I approach 70 I realised that a good shite with True Faith was really what I aspired to. But now even that pleasure has been taken away from me. Bastards. First the toon forget why I exist and now my favourite mag. Has anyone else noticed that Mr Martin has the same first name as a certain sports company owner. Coincidence or what eh! but guess what.
    I don’t care

    • Alan says:

      Very naughty that Greeny. You’ve committed two cardinal sins. . . . far, far too many expletives and worse still, you’ve implied that Pardew is something other than a decent family man who spent weeks fretting over his job security!
      Go on Mick, delete this one too, because I don’t care.

    • Get yourself a tablet / i-pad and you can assume the classic TF reading position in the smallest room in the house as you have done previously.

  2. Stevep says:

    ‘we will be looking for the game which will have the first mass walk-out’

    This should be EVERY game till they realise that we can’t be fobbed off and lied to any longer.
    We know its all about keeping NUFC in the Premier League at the least possible expense and making dough through free advertising for s****s d****t, so stop trying to hoodwink us into thinking its anything but.

  3. Check out the book Punk Football. There is hope, but it will take awhile.

  4. Ian Summers says:

    Are the Gateshead fixtures out yet?