true faith / Incendiary Magazine – Sounds #2

by • August 28, 2014 • NewsComments (3)620

In a True remonstrance of his Concerne to all Newcastle United followers My Lord Ashleyearphones Hath instructed me, his Nieuwe Secretary of Musicke, to compile, threw sources Various and by Means of Free internet browse (free being a Thing that My Lord Ashley findeth Most Felicitous at all times) a Play liste of Songs and Ballades that may enjoynder a state of Goodly Cheer amongst his Wonga-cladde hoste, Cheering them to such an extent that they may be further Tempted to spend ridiculous amounts of Souvereignes and such silver as they can Muster following his Sporting Wonga-cladde travelling entertaynement Troupe known as ‘Ye Lads’ around this Fair Isle even tho’ it Leadeth to  Ruine and Tears. And Not to abuse My Lord’s Reeve Pardieuw, even tho’ this man’s Nose hath been brought into contact with Others’ on distant fields much to our collective Disgrace.

Ballades to accompanye ye Longe and Arduous Journeye home from the game of Association football in A Cuppe Competition that Changeth it’s name so regularlye that This Correspondent still Thinks it is called Ye Milk Cuppe. The game is with Gillinghamme; a place in The South of this Land, which some of our less Geographically Concerned Wonga cladde Hoste do calleth Cockney land. The game shall be played at Priestfield (a Name that doth throw up the odd Papist association I think) at a full quarter of the hour before ye eight o clocke of the evening.

In an Unprecedented Breache of etiquette by both Myself and the Club, you Correspondente hath seen Ye Team Sheete for the game and shall shew it to you, my Readershippe. Given our Lord Ashley’s True Concern of getting knocked out of Each Cuppe competition as soon as is decently possible; Ye Lads will line up as follows.

Goalkeeper – Vurnon Anita

Left Back – Facundo Ferreyra

Left Back – Gabriel Obertan

Left Back – Adam Armstrong

Left Back – Remie Streete

Left Back – Samuel Ameobi

Left Back – Rolando Aarons

Left Back – Haris Vučkić

Left Back – Ayoze Perez

Left Back – Lubomir Satka

Left Back – Gael Bigirimana

Left Back – Massadio Haidara

Play Liste

The Blobs: Murder –


Senor Coconut: Showroom Dummies  –

Williams Fairey Brass Band: Acid Brass (Voodoo Ray)  –

Esso Trinidad Steel Band: Cecilia –

Helmettes: I don’t care what the people say –

La Düsseldorf / La? Neu!: Blue –

S.C.U.M: 586  –

Seavault: The Mercy Seat –

Rodion G.A.: Cantec Fulger [The Lost Tapes] –





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3 Responses to true faith / Incendiary Magazine – Sounds #2

  1. Vassilis says:

    What a waste of time and energy, has the site turned to a comic magazine?

  2. Wallace Wilson says:

    Well I thought it was funny – excellent punchline!

  3. John Waugh says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha; this comedy “Middel Englishe” writing style never ever fails to amuse, brilliant!!! Vassilis – stop being so miserable, ye twisty-faced gette!