true faith End of Season Awards 16/17

by • May 15, 2017 • tf blogsComments (3)1642

It’s been over a week since we all got to laugh at Brighton and enjoy a much deserved league title.  Even though the season is technically still on going with the play offs and that (good luck Yorkshire teams.  Not because I like them but because I could do without another trip to a ground with a ‘neutral section’ or Reading), United won’t kick a ball until August 12th at the earliest so I can do some end of season rewards.  They’re not entirely serious so don’t get upset if you normally scream abuse at Lee Ryder as he hasn’t sufficiently crucified one of the lads in print.

Best commercial away end of the Season

The away end at Hillsborough having six cashiers.  Five out of the six didn’t sell alcohol.  Guess where the ridiculously long queue formed?  Loads of staff standing around doing nothing while two lads were rushed off their feet struggling to sell beer to a raucous away end.  Brave call thinking that the Quavers would be a bigger seller than the Carling.

Worst Bogs

Bristol City away.  If you were there you know why.

Best Prediction:

A tie between Paul ‘Merse’ Merson and a lad near me in the Corner.  I’ll let the people decide which was more accurate:

Merse:  ‘Rafa Benitez will walk away from Newcastle United.’  May 2017.

Lad near me:  *Walking Out* at 3 1 down to Norwich at home.  “Load of shite. We’ll not make play offs”. 

Save of the Season: 

All of the ones that Mattz Sels made that were mint but the player was offside or the game was already comfortably won.  Or that Preston player at SJP who sealed promotion for the lads.

Best Managerial Quote:

“I think if you look at the game in total, we were the better team in how we played.”  Jaap Stam – Wednesday 17th August 2016 after his side were comfortably beaten 4 1 at St James’ Park

Best Commitment to Football Fans award:

How could you possibly look past Sky Sports for making us go to Brighton and Cardiff on week nights to satisfy the millions of gimps around the country hoping we’d be soundly beaten.

Most pissed away end:

Cardiff.  Blokes asleep before kick off after a day in Wales on the piss.

Best Commitment to Boosting Takings in Newcastle:

Joint mentions to Sky who put forward the idea we should play Leeds on a bank holiday at night and then Northumbria Police for *agreeing* to it.

Humiliation of the Season:

Sunderland AFC aside, it has to be Adrian Durham who conducted 14 different phone ins on how it wasn’t good enough for Rafa and United not to have won the division.  Unable to swallow the absolute scenes on Tyneside on May 7th he backed tracked recycling the popular media line ‘should have won it in March’.  Being kind on Adrian, and allowing his prediction to mean ‘late March’ – so say, Unied’s last fixture in the month against Birmingham on the 18th – United will have had to have 101 points from 38 games to be sure of the title from second place Brighton on 77.  Keeping results the same after that day and winning the league ‘on time’, Adrian Durham would have Rafa’s United finishing on 117 points from 138 possible.

Best Referee

Madley – Preston at home.  You should feel silly accusing him of wanting to influence the game so Huddersfield go up.  Speaking of Huddersfield….

Award for Best Timing

A half empty away end at Pride Park on 81 minutes singing ‘Newcastle United, we’re coming for you’.  Seven days later United are promoted and Huddersfield lose four of their last five games. Still coming for us lads?

Most fume from a support towards United’s runaway success

So many to choose from here but I’ll got for Leeds United.   Hugely ungrateful bunch Leeds.  United provided their first league sell out in 12 years at Elland Road.  You’d think the cash strapped Yorkshire side would have appreciated Rafa’s mags spiking local interest in football again. Even United taking the game easy in second gear and winning comfortably wasn’t appreciated.  Imagine what the score would have been if we played well!  Nope Leeds fans are still fuming at Rafa and United for just about everything from winning more league titles than Leeds, having more fans than Leeds, having better players than Leeds and finishing higher in the league than Leeds.

Nicest Fans

Brighton. Nice place.  Nice people.  Nice six points. Nice Title.

Best opposition team at SJP

Reading, according to Jaap Stam.

Worst opposition team at SJP

Preston shipped ten goals in two games and it could have been twenty so I can’t really look past them.

Dwight Gayle Award for being Mint at Footy

Matt Ritchie

Best Rafa Signing

Daryl Murphy for coming against Brighton away and watching that defence shit themselves that Daryl wasn’t in the mood to be on the losing side that night.

Easiest Away win

QPR, obviously.

Best Away End

Derby if I’m being inclusive cos you were probably there.  The super-fan inside of me wants you to know it was Brighton because you watched it on telly.

Most Valuable Game

Huddersfield’s infamous game in hand which if won secured Champions League Qualification, such was the weight afforded to it by social media mags.  ‘Aye we’re 10 points clear and really 11 with goal difference, but HUDDERSFIELD HAVE A GAME IN HAND.’

Most Newcastle United Thing to do Award

Conceding an equalising goal to ten man Hull while celebrating our winner.

Least Newcastle United Thing to do Award

Winning the league when seven points behind the leaders with three games to go

Funniest Opposition Season

Aston Villa spending £80m and finishing in the bottom half.  And Leeds finishing 7th.


Alex Hurst


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3 Responses to true faith End of Season Awards 16/17

  1. Castle Farm Mag says:

    It might be beneficial to politely ask MM to have a thorough proof-read of your material for a while and objectively suggest edits; as this piece comes across rather childish in places for the new controller of TF (and too super-fan-ey, by its own admission once, and in other places too though). I always think TF has been a much broader church; and not a place for super-fan one-up-man-ship. Yes, you go to all the games, you are young, that is what you do when you are under 35. But please don’t make such a song and dance about it, or sneer because others were not there – comes across bad.

  2. Colin Mccabe says:

    A bit harsh Castle Farm, as was said at the start not meant to be taken too seriously, whilst Alex’s writing style is not as mature as MM I think you’re haughty comments are prob a step too far.

    Personally I enjoyed the read, thanks Alex.

    • A.T. says:

      I completely agree Colin. I found the comments above a tad condescending, although I am sure this wasn’t the intention. When you are used to, and enjoy, a particular style it is difficult not to want that to continue going forward and I am sure this was meant as genuine helpful advice for Alex having taken on a rather large new task. MM’s writing has been superb but I don’t want or expect Alex to try and copy his style. I am sure the reason he was passed the baton was because he is his own man with his own style of writing. Even Michael always conceded that not everybody would agree with his comments or enjoy his take on all things NUFC. Alex will find the same and this may lose some current readers but will almost certainly gain some new ones. The more the merrier in all things Black and White in my opinion. Keep on keeping on Alex, you are doing a sterling job so far and I appreciate the many hours you put into it, especially as I no longer live in the UK and rely on this site for 90% of my NUFC fix!