THRU BLACK & WHITE EYES – Fail – 22/Dec/14

by • December 22, 2014 • TBAWEComments (16)1534

Alan Pardew simply has to go. This man has made history as the most incompetent coach SackPardewto ever lead our club into derby matches. But that’s not the only reason he should resign. He has the worst record in derby matches of any other since 1892 and I expect if he is still doing whatever the fuck he does for the trip to Wearside later this season, he’ll lose that one as well. The man is a bum.

If the defeats to Sunderland were some kind of blemish on an otherwise sparkling managerial record at United I think we would grin and bear it. They are not. The man is unable to win a big game. Sure, he’ll pull off the odd enjoyable success against our betters when they have an off-day and for all the wins this season against Man City, Spurs, Liverpool and Chelsea were enjoyable, they weren’t big games for them. That’s probably how we managed to win them. No, when there is expectation, when there is pressure to win, to deliver, Pardew has failed and he will continue to fail. He is what he is – a puppet, a bluffer, a man without any credibility, an empty suit, a man like so many on the Ashley payroll at St James’ Park who has been promoted well beyond his ability and who in return for a seat in the big chair will endure any indignity because he and the likes of Charnley, Carver et al. have nowhere else to go at this level. We have hardly ever worried that Pardew will be poached away for some bigger job and we do know that when he is finally fumigated from our club (hopefully with Ashley) he will be fortunate to get a job in the Championship. For crying out loud it’s not like he comes here with a great managerial history is it? A brief flirtation with West Ham before being shown the door, relegation with Charlton and a seedy, unhappy spell with Southampton, whose success has continued relentlessly without him.

There have been continuing rumours about Pardew’s relationship with Ashley with salacious gossip about casino debts to add to the stories which have followed him from West Ham to Southampton. There certainly appears to be the whiff of something not quite right about Pardew but let’s face it an Ashley appointee from the assembly line of Wise, Jimenez and Kinnear says everything about the recruitment policy at Newcastle United. Jobs for the bluffers!

Pardew has been at United for four long, unproductive years. I am at a loss to identify what his footballing philosophy actually is. If he even has one. When I see Newcastle United lining up at home in a derby game against opponents who started the day a mere one point ahead of Burnley playing one up front, my heart sinks! When that one striker is a kid who was playing Spanish second division football last season with a lack of physical presence having balls lashed up to him from all angles, I really wonder what the fucking game-plan is. Crosses into the box with no player with any aerial presence? What the fuck is all of that about man?

When I see Gouffran in a Newcastle United shirt contributing absolutely nothing at all I really do wonder what the fuck is going on at our club. When Armstrong is brought into the fray ahead of our leading goal-scorer with the team ostensibly pressing for the winner, I wonder if the pillock in the dug-out has a head full of rocks.

We ended the game looking desperate, with no shape at all having left it far too late to have any real ambition to win the game. Sunderland kept their discipline and applied the coup-de-grace. Poyet knows how to play these games. Pardew evidently, painfully does not.

There was just so much wrong with the way that team was set up it was untrue. The substitutions were all wrong. The tactics were woeful and let’s consider this, Pardew could not find a way through a defence marshalled by O’Shea and Brown who are way beyond their sell-by dates but that is the third season in a row this manager has failed to put out a side in a derby match which has even been able to score a fucking goal.

For those who think Graeme Carr is some kind of wunder-scout I think it is fair to ask where the fuck Riviere, Ferreya and Cabella were for this game. Well, we know the answer really. Ferreya appears to have been some kind of brain-blip whilst Riviere is simply not good enough and is an inferior player to Shola Ameobi or Leon Best. Those two were hardly the recipients of universal acclaim when they were at United. As for Cabella – he just appears to be far too lightweight and unsuited to the physical demands of the Premier League. That was immediately obvious from the first time he crossed the white-line.

But this week gone wasn’t just about the derby. It was also about a LC Quarter Final at Spurs where once again, we failed to turn up and weren’t just defeated, we were humiliated. I’m sure you’ll correct me if I’m wrong but almost 25% of games this calendar year have resulted in Pardew’s team losing by 3 or more goals. It makes me laugh when I read and hear Pardew’s teams being described as well-drilled by pundits. Well-drilled? Really? Jesus Christ!

This was the biggest week in United’s season and Pardew, once again has failed, failed, failed to even make a competition of it at Spurs and spunked a local derby at home.

I completely expect United to lose heavily at Old Trafford (the standard 3-goal margin defeat). I anticipate the atmosphere at SJP for the visit of Everton will be toxic and for Burnley on New Year’s Day to be desperate. I am absolutely unshakeable in my view that we will lose to Leicester in the FA Cup. I believe we have enough points on the board to convince Ashley he doesn’t need to sign a striker and that a big sale(s) is possible. I do wonder if Cisse is being wrapped in cotton wool so they can move him on in January but the likes of Sissoko and Tiote (no loss) might also generate more money for the parasite in charge of our club.

Then the club will limp over the line with Pardew again making false promises of summer investment and round and round we go again. Same as it ever was. Nothing he ever says ever happens.

This is an empty club led by a snake-oil salesman and utter charlatan in the dug-out. Four years after he took over from Chris Hughton and I will insist he has taken the club backwards. The playing staff is inferior and the coaching has gone nowhere.

There is no way back now. It is time for Alan Pardew for once in his time at Newcastle United to do the decent thing and resign.

Keep On, Keepin’ On ….

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16 Responses to THRU BLACK & WHITE EYES – Fail – 22/Dec/14

  1. Every word unfortunately true. Pardew utter shite . Jesus Christ he HAS to go.

  2. Chris Falconer says:

    100% true as ever.

    Saddest thing is, we all know there’s no chance of him resigning and that he’ll still be here this time next season peddling the same old clap trap after losing his sixth in a row.

    Pathetic and useless.

  3. Alan says:

    Pardew do the decent thing?

    The repulsive cunt won’t even know the meaning of the word.
    I sincerely hope he has an utterly shite Christmas.

  4. Dave Binks says:

    Can’t disagree with any of that Michael, it’s an honest & heartfelt assessment & I’m sure millions of Geordies around the globe will feel the same way. That charlatan & smarmy glove puppet Pardew has to go but unless he falls on his sword (which he won’t cos he’s a coward) then we are saddled with the clueless defence minded tactically inept twat until the Fat Man decides to fuck up Rangers full time. I wouldn’t wish this regime on anyone but even though the Hall/Shepherd were robbing bastards, at least we enjoyed watching the team, expected to beat the mackems each year & actually looked forward to the transfer windows with excitement instead of nervously seeing which of our ‘prized assets’ would be auctioned off like fucking eBay. Depressing isn’t it?
    Merry Christmas.

  5. Stephen B says:


    “This was the biggest week in United’s season and Pardew, once again has failed, failed, failed to even make a competition of it at Spurs and spunked a local derby at home.”

  6. Rob says:

    If Sissoko leaves in January…

    Mind, even if he stays, I don’t expect to see the Abeid, Colbac, Sissoko midfield ever again, despite the fact it looked good and was at the root of our short run of form. Pardew won’t have identified that.

  7. Chris says:

    He won’t go anywhere. Ashley knows he won’t get anyone else vaguely credible to work under him for the pay he will offer. That makes Pardew unsackable. Pardew knows he won’t get another decent job anywhere. That means he will never resign.

  8. Gav C says:

    As you have described it before Michel, this is Zombie football by a Zombie Club. The most troubling aspect of it all for me is that this “plan” is clearly working for Mike Ashley. The complete lack of sporting ambition seems not to matter a jot to Mike making money from NUFC. As long as we remain aboard the Premier League gravy-train then nothing will change. I can honestly say that I would welcome relegations and suffer any humiliations and depredations that would see our sporting club rid of this cancer.

  9. Greeny's Guitar says:

    Michael, you’re letting your passion rule your thinking processes. It’s this type of whinging article that makes great journalists like Patrick Barclay think we’re fickle. You should remember your place. You’re only a supporter. Barclay is a football expert and if he says Pardew ” can manage a football team and Newcastle owner Mike Ashley deserves credit for keeping him in charge.” and he ” admirably durable manager.” who are we to disagree.
    Whenever I feel the pain overwhelming me, like yesterday, I bite my tongue and refer to the Barclay words of wisdom which make me realise how lucky I am to support a club which is managed by one of the greats and owned by a benevolent human being who is running our club, not with starry eyed ambition and pride, but as a business. This is as it should be. Amen

    • Rob says:

      How many times a season do you think the odious Barclay watches us play?
      Some of us have seen EVERY SINGLE SET PIECE we have taken under Pardew’s tenure. We’ve regressed from just having no chance of scoring from them, to rendering them a greater threat to ourselves than to the opposition.

      I’m not a “football expert.” But I tell you what: leaving no players up when defending corners, and leaving just one player back when attacking corners, is idiocy. Pardew is not intelligent enough to our manager.

  10. Paul smith says:

    Well the tactic of chucking the quarter final to make sure we were strong for the derby ( incredibly advocated on here ) worked ???? I honestly couldn’t believe he picked gouffran ahead of cisse yesterday. We had the two outstanding players on the pitch in sissoko who was once again immense and Perez who will undoubtedly be a target for more ambitious clubs in the very near future but they had a game plan and were set up impressively in my view. I think probably understandably colback had his worst game in a black and white shirt and he’s a massive part of this newcastle team. Unlike Michael I actually think they’ll give man utd a real game employing the tactics used against Liverpool and Chelsea that Stoke are using but there is no question in my mind that we will lose to Leicester in the cup. You can almost hear the conversation between Pardew and the despot now where he’s instructed to clear the decks and make sure we get another 17 points. Mission accomplished. It’s horrible isn’t it ?

  11. Stu says:

    With ally being put on gardening leave at rangers,let’s hope pardew’s off to rangers to work his magic in Scotland.

  12. Anton says:

    Let me join Greeny with some deserved praise for for Pardew, our leading light: let no one argue that he is not an astute manager who can learn no lessons. Only last year, we lined up against a win-less, bottom of the table, certain-to-be-relegated Sunderland with zero strikers.
    But this time, Pards dug deep, used his footballing nous and we lined up against draw-specialists, bottom-four Sunderland with one whole striker. Why isn’t anyone acknowledging this genius master-stroke?

  13. Bob says:

    Sarcasm at it’s best. So called journalists who make comments without knowing or investigating a subject are not worthy of the title. Uninformed comment seems to be his forte so why think comments about anything else are worth reading.
    As for Pardew…Goufran, really? I would rather see Cabella inthe team to see if he can adapt rather than continue with Goufran who adds nothing. Using a substitute with a few minutes to go is to cover an injury or if you are winning to break up play and waste a bit of time. Putting Cabella on I wonder what he expected. Playing him from the off may have got us a few more free kicks around the box (without really anyone to take a decent one). As for new signings we are expecting de jong back (remember him) and a few others so not expecting any particularly as we bought loads in the summer. Perez is a real find and should be offered a better contract now but don’t expect that.

  14. Pat Hughes says:

    Can’t believe you’re all forgetting his MotM award – he can’t be keeping that in tip top condition as well as thinking of tactics and stuff. Priorities please

  15. Tom Pitt says:

    And the worst part of it all is that those in charge are saying…..all is good and going according to plan.
    We have ,thanks to the 6 game winning run, probably ensured survival is well within our grasp,the January window is upon us and we have a player or two playing well enough to be flogged on for a tidy profit.
    The derby result only matters to the fans not those in charge so all is good and Pardew is as safe as houses.
    Pleased I dont go anymore.