MATCH REPORT: West Ham United 1 Newcastle United 3, The Boleyn Ground, 18/Jan/14, KO: 3pm, Premier League. Att: 33,343

by • January 18, 2014 • Match reportsComments (2)576

Now if any of those lovely people that write for the national media were ever again wondering why we were so WestHamJan14desperate to get rid of Big Fat Sam then they should be made to watch re-runs of that game yesterday.
Newcastle came down to the capital on a poor run, not without it’s fair share of bad luck, and desperate to halt a slide down the table. Thankfully we couldn’t have gotten a much more accommodating home team to play against.
Meeting up in The Dolphin pre-match and none of the normal match day nerves were present. Into the ground and the game started off with a bit of West Ham pressure. The ball was in the sky a lot and Big Fat Sam was reprising his awful months at NUFC with tactics that were anachronistic in 1985. After Matty Taylor flashed a header wide we started to take control of the game and the hub of all of our good play was Yohan Cabaye. At times he can go missing but when he is on song then we look a really good side. He showed great touches, a composed nature and some wonderful passing for the full 90 minutes, not to mention 2 great goals. As mentioned to me, the introduction of Anita into this side releases Cabaye and he gets beyond their midfield where he is at his best.
We took the lead after 16 minutes when some good passing let Gouffran get down the left hand side and his pull back gave Cabaye a half chance. However, he took a wonderful first touch and after a two-footed juggle beat (Ed: Beardsley-esque) the woeful Collins before guiding a shot into the far corner and set the travelling fans alight at the other end of the ground. Not much after those celebrations had died down then Sissoko was through on goal after a wonderful slide rule pass from Cabaye but he shot weakly at the goalkeeper and a really good chance was gone.
We got our 2nd and in my mind our goal of the season in the 33rd minute when some wonderful passing culminated in Anita’s classy pass getting Sissoko in behind the West Ham back 4 and his cross was misjudged by Collins, falling to Remy who calmly controlled and poked past the ‘keeper to send the away end mental and some sore shins and legs were being nursed soon after. We absolutely controlled the rest of the half and with Cabaye conducting the orchestra and firing two more excellent efforts at the West Ham goal it seemed to be a case of how many. Yet this is Newcastle United and just before half-time we conceded a poor goal when Cole was able to bring the ball down in the box and poke beyond Krul. Williamson had lost him and the ‘keeper, whilst making a good save, should have been off his line more quickly in my opinion. Half-time was littered with people discussing impending doom in the 2nd half.
The inevitable aerial bombardment arrived in the 2nd half and we nearly succumbed to it twice. Firstly Cole lost Williamson again and missed the target from 6 yards and then ‘he shoots, he’ll miss, he stinks of fucking piss’ Andy Carroll missed the target by some distance on his right foot. We weathered that storm but kept giving the ball away in stupid areas with Tiote constantly winning possession and getting us out of the shit.
With Williamson and Taylor heading all that was thrown at us we seemed to have won the game 2-1 and made it more nervous than it needed to be.
We completely put the game to bed though in the final minute when a foul on Ben Arfa gave us a free kick 25 yards out. Up stepped man of the match Cabaye to whip a great free kick into the top corner via the ‘keeper’s hand and the post. Game over and delirium in the away end. Completely deserved and it could have been 5.
They will most likely go down if they don’t get rid of that big fat whopper. Their fans hate him as much as we do.
Newcastle United : Tim Krul, Davide Santon (Paul Dummett 74), Mike Williamson, Steven.Taylor,Mapou -Mbiwa, Chieck Tiote, Vurnon Anita (SholaAmeobi 60), Yohan Cabaye, Moussa Sissoko, Loic Remy (Hatem Ben Arfa 78), YoanGouffran.
Unused Subs: Elliot, Haidara, Obertan, Cisse.

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2 Responses to MATCH REPORT: West Ham United 1 Newcastle United 3, The Boleyn Ground, 18/Jan/14, KO: 3pm, Premier League. Att: 33,343

  1. WhoArYa says:

    The bubbles they are blowing are popping but Fat Sam must be blowing the porn barons to still be 3rd highest paid premiership manager? Surely that’s not true is it?

    Can’t get the Yohanne Cabeye song out of my head. It’s a catchy number isn’t it?

  2. Marc Corby says:

    If there is any justice, west ham will stick with him until relegation and sack the Twat so he has relegation stamped on his c.v.