MATCH REPORT: Sunderland 2 Newcastle United 1, Stadium of Light (sic), Sunday, 27/Oct/13, KO: 1:30pm, Premier League.

by • October 26, 2013 • Match reportsComments (14)1073

An unforgivable performance saw us slump to defeat to the worst Sunderland side in a Pardew3decade.  We started with Dummett in place of Mbiwa, the only change from the battling point against Liverpool a week earlier but things couldn’t have got off to a worse start as we conceded within five minutes.

It was a shocker to concede as well, with Johnson given an embarassingly free run from a corner to clip a cross over to Fletcher, who left Dummett rooted to the spot to head home.

The goal got their confidence up and for ten minutes or so we were hanging on to being only 1-0 down before we slowly got a grip on the game.  For all our possession though, we created next to nothing and our lack of width was there for all to see with Sissoko and Gouffran utterly ineffective.  I’d go as far as saying that neither are good enough to play for Newcastle United – the former possibly through hideous coaching (I’ll come to that in a minute) and the latter through being just being rank fucking average.

We went in one down at half time and thankfully Pardew saw fit to put Sissoko and the travelling support out of their misery, replacing him with Cisse to at least give a semblance of shape to the side, with Ben Arfa given a little more structure pushed wide and a run and shot, or cross if we are being generous from him led to the equaliser, with Debuchy losing Johnson at the back post to put the ball into an empty net.  The goal was met with relief from the travelling Mags and while the game looked their for the taking, we seemed to go into our shell for the final half hour and gift the initiative back to the Mackems.

Remy was withdrawn for the last twenty minutes to make way for Shola.  God knows why mind.  Is the Frenchman still not match fit two months after making his debut for us?  Was he sacrificed for taking on the mantle that Cisse has had for the last year – namely front man with absolutely bugger all service?  Anyway, the change hardly inspired us and as the game drifted to a conclusion, Sunderland looked more likely to grab a winner than us.

And so it proved when they won a free kick from an innocuous challenge just inside our half with five minutes left.  Quickly taken, it caught us napping and with two passes, substitute Borini picked it up 20 yards out and lashed a shot past Krul.  Good shot and all that but frighteningly straightforward and despite (said in the loosest sense of the word) the introduction of Sammy, they held on for a victory that they just about deserved based on our generally aimless performance.

That is damning them with feint praise – as we managed to be even worse than they were, and they were absolute garbage.  I do hope that this doesn’t translate as bitterness because I’m happy to accept when we deserve to get beat, but Sunderland will be relegated this year and looking at us today, we’ll be down there scrapping it out with them.

Pardew, for me, is finished at United.  I’m totally disinterested in anything he has to say anymore although I believe he tried to shift the blame on our defeat to the officials.  That isn’t why we lost.

Let’s be absolutely brutally honest.  We came fifth under him with a massive slice of fortune – no injuries, no suspensions, all the rub of the green.  Since that, we have been on the whole dreadful.  Decent players like Sissoko and Debuchy have visibly regressed since signing.  Excellent players like Cabaye and Ben Arfa clearly aren’t motivated by him and why would they be?  The latter has been dropped despite being by far and away our most creative player to accommodate rubbish like Gouffran whilst the former has been embroiled in a ‘strike’ that was far from what it was made out to be.

It goes deeper though and again, let’s be brutally honest.  No Premier League team with serious aspirations would have a coaching team consisting of John Carver, Steve Stone and Peter Beardsley.  Carver is the most experienced of those and aside from us, has never had experience at a top flight club.  I’m reliably informed (by him, at more than one talk-in I’ve heard him speak at) that he plays a major role in pumping the team up on derby day with motivational videos and chats.  OK.

Stone has coached nowhere other than United and as much as it pains me to say it, as he was such a fantastic footballer, Beardsley’s sole qualification for the role appears to be shining Ashley’s helmet for him.

So in short, our manager isn’t good enough and is now sounding like a bullshitter and his coaching team are doing nothing whatsoever to develop footballers, be they established internationals or younger players from the Academy.  The whole set up is second rate but as long as we don’t get relegated and we probably won’t again, just –  then why would Ashley give a fuck? (Ed: neither Ashley or Kinnear were there, which says everything).

It’s all as depressing as getting excited about a derby between two nonentities on the national/international stage.  They’ve got the infamous ‘bragging rights’ for the next few months and fair play to them.  We might have them for a few months after that but ultimately, who really gives a fuck?

Is this all we’ve got to look forward to for the rest of our lives between us?

Keep the Faith

Newcastle United – Tim Krul 6, Matthieu Debuchy 7, Mike Williamson 6, Paul Dummett 5, Davide Santon 4, Yoan Gouffran 3 (Sammy Ameobi n/a), Chieck Tiote 7, Yohan CABAYE 7, Moussa Sissoko 2 (Papiss Cisse 3), Hatem Ben Arfa 4, Loic Remy 4 (Shola Ameobi 5)

Ref – Probert – 5 – We can twist about a couple of decisions but he didn’t lose us the game

Our Fans – 6 – Buoyed by the sight of avoiding defeat

Their Fans – 6 – Delirious for the first and last five minutes, hardly audible for 70 in between

Gareth Harrison TF_INITIALS_LOGO


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14 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Sunderland 2 Newcastle United 1, Stadium of Light (sic), Sunday, 27/Oct/13, KO: 1:30pm, Premier League.

  1. tom bates says:

    Pardew blames officials for the defeat. Strange I thought it was cos we were gutless and clueless against a crap side. Mackems have 3 league wins from 20 odd games and 2 are against Nufc

  2. Dave Ted Edwards says:

    Summed up perfectly Hazza, depressing but absolutely accurate. Bragging rights – fat lot of good they are during a battle against relegation. Feeling miserable and gutted but it wasn’t entirely unexpected which is the worst bit

  3. Dean Woods says:

    What the fuck was Pardew thinking going without a striker in the first half,
    Does he think we are Barcelona or something,
    The full backs are both shit, Santon hasn’t got a left foot despite playing left back and Debuechy is just a liability defensively.

    • KenBrown says:

      Interesting comment attributed to Gus Poyet in todays Journal when he said that he went back to basics by playing players in their proper positions, ie a left back playing left back a right back playing right back etc.etc. What a novel idea. Who’d have thought such a thing was possible?
      David Santon is an Italian International RIGHT BACK. He is naturally RIGHT FOOTED. Alan “trust me” Pardew, in his wisdom, then went out and bought a French International RIGHT BACK. Thus we now play TWO International RIGHT BACKS. Other selections of “trust me” are equally baffling.
      Mind you how the f**k Debuchy ever gets a game for France is a mystery to me.
      Apart from all that we have a very very mediocre squad managed by a very very mediocre coach.

  4. Tom Bates says:

    I actually dont think we have a bad group of players. Krul, Colo, Cabaye, Tiote (at his best) Ben Arfa, Remy, Cisse (when he can be arsed) have the ability to get into top 6 sides. Actually thnk our midfields better than Man Us on paper, Carrick, Cleverly, Kawaja, Giggs, but we dont seem to be able to perform for twogames on the bounce. We’ve recruited some canny players on the cheap, nowt to do with Pardew but he seems to coach ability out of them. We should still finish midtable but that’l depend on injuries. Dont rate pardew, even when we finished 5th we were outplayed but a miture of spirit, luck, superb goalkeeping and finishing from Ba and Cisse kept us going. But his managerial record is awful overall. Even George burley finished 5th with Ipswich and they werent afraid to sack him next year when things went pear shaped (he’s done nowt since). Any one can have a good season in management, but its now pardews side and we’re going nowhere fast.

  5. Niall Fleming says:

    One of the most tactically inept performances I have seen.

    Williamson as the most experienced defender should have been man marking Fletcher, Altidore is a big man but he doesn’t score many goals.

    Far too big an ask of the kid Dummett, and I hope we get behind him because he must be feeling down. He would have been better at left back. He should have a run at left back.

    If you are going to play people out of position, do it sparingly and with some logic. Accepting that we only had one centre back fit, I’d have given Shola a go because he is big, experienced, knows what the opposing strikers are going to get up to, would be useful at set pieces and he has heart. Stop gap only of course, but he is pretty limited as a striking option now.

    Santon at left back is hopeless, and because he intercepts rather than tackles he is going to leave his centre backs exposed which ever side of the park he plays on. It is clearly a problem in his mind, after his knee problems, which a good coaching and man management set up would work on.

    The initial formation up front, playing the top three out of position, was particularly barmy and especially when one of their first choice centre backs wasn’t playing.

    Bringing on Cisse was a big mistake. Sissoko shouldn’t have started.

    God alone knows what the squad think but I can’t see many of them respecting the set up.


    While it is fairly obvious that Pardew and his coaching staff ought to be out, who on earth would come to the club?

    Di Matteo doesn’t like hands on coaching, Mackay and Dyche have the scars of capricious owners, Steve Clarke is nicely placed, overseas coaches would struggle to work with Kinnear etc etc.

    With some exceptions I don’t think the squad is that bad, not as bad as yesterday, but the fitness levels, the coaching and the game strategy are just atrocious.

    I did have a nightmare – Darren Ferguson and Barry Fry.

  6. STEPHEN says:

    i’m in the camp of i’d rather we never played them, that they were back in Division 3. That said my wish is now for us to win this cup-tie against Man City and we get them in the last eight of the League Cup when there’s something ‘real’ at stake. This squabbling over three points to get them out of the bottom three and us in a comfortable no mans land of mid table obscurity leaves me cold. The rest of the country must look and laugh at our local dispute.
    By the way, that wish – fat chance !

  7. Alex Hurst says:

    I’m gutted about yesterday but trying to re-write history to suit an argument does no one any favours. I’ve just about had enough with Pardew and I think he deserves to keep his job simply as there’s no one better out there, but Debuchy was alright yesterday and after a poor start has played well recently – why he’s continually slated is beyond me.

    The only viable alternative to Pardew would be that Rene Muelensteen who is a world class coach and no management experience but with our ‘continental D.oF’ in place is it relevant with such an accomplished Director of Football in place. He got turned down for the Wigan job like but could this be any worse?

    We deserved to finish 5th that year btw – we had ourt fair share of bad luck too but I’d imagine no one reading this really gives a fuck and I don’t want to bang on about the past but it’s not neccessary to try and change the past to suit the present.

    This game is the end of Pardew, whether it’s now or the end of the season.

    • Niall Fleming says:

      Muelensteen and Phelan might work. There is also that Romanian coach ex Anzhi, worked under Hiddink. Just can’t see it though.

  8. Neil Jackson says:

    I agree that it would be a refreshing change to play Sunderland when there was some kind of meaning to the result (apart from an underlying need to accumulate approximately 40 league points). These derbies with their bragging rights and cartoon-like passion are becoming a bit embarrassing.

  9. Tom Bates says:

    We finished 5th, thats a fact but it was in a season when we had more luck with decisions luck with injuries than we ever will again if I live to 100. In regards to who is available just look at Swansea with Laudrup and Southampton, no one fancied their managers but the clubs did their research and are reaping the benefits, if you are seriously saying there is no-one out there with more coaching ability than Pardew, a man with a worse record than Roeder who had to pick up Souness miss then I guess we really have given up. Pardews had two good seasons in maybe 15 years in management, most of his campaigns have been relegation battles, Cahrlton and Soton improved massivley once he left.

  10. Tom Bates says:

    Sorry for my crap spelling there…..

  11. Davey says:

    I thought we’d acquired a time machine and went back to 1988 to put Mirandinha as our striker yesterday but it was Ben Arfa instead. It takes some doing to get beat by a limited team but we managed it lovely yesterday. Two defeats in a row to these when by their own admission they are shite, well, what are we?

    Alan Pardew, if he wont go can someone not implement some kind of contraption on his mouth that Zippy from ‘Rainbow’ had? His patter is just far too much to listen too.

    Mike Ashley though, always Mike Ashley. He is THE biggest problem and I can only echo Mr Martin and hope the local boys at Thomson House put the gloves on now. (Would also be nice if they get some solidarity from their friends in the nationals but having seen those on Sky’s ‘Sunday Supplement’ I wont hold my breath).

  12. Davey says:

    (Or even take the gloves off!)