What you’re about to read isn’t going to make pleasant reading at all. What I viewed last night was absolutely atrocious. For the 16th time in the last 20 away matches I saw Newcastle United defeated. This time by a very ordinary Stoke City side.
Thankfully, for yours truly Stoke is an easy 40 minute train journey from Manchester so its one that most NW mags always do. On arrival at Stoke I was more than a little bemused to see Gouffran in the XI. Even with Townsend injured I can’t begin to comprehend why auld island heed thought starting Gouffran was a good idea. The useless c**t wouldn’t get a game for the Black Bull in Longbenton on a Sunday morning. He’s turd.
The game in all honesty was an absolute nothingness of a game with both side being severely hampered by the terrible weather conditions. United lined up in a very defensive manner against a side that showed very little attacking threat, United allowed Stoke the majority of the ball with Wally Brolly’s plan seemingly to catch them on the break. This plan was hindered due to Sissoko not fancying it whatsoever. Now, I’ve stuck up for Sissoko this season as I’ve felt a lot of our better performances have surrounded around him breaking with the ball and getting us up the pitch. However, last night he was an absolute disgrace and should’ve been hooked off at HT. I’d imagine he was bastard freezing when he came off, given the fact he never ran all game.
Sissoko did have United’s only chance of the first half when a hooked ball from Gino, who despite the stick he’s received this morning I thought was much improved, fell in to Stokes final third. Inexplicably Sissoko was edged off the ball by a Spanish Midget with goal gaping. The lad just couldn’t give a f**k on occasions. Tonight was one of them.
The second half wasn’t much better with United seemingly having no idea whether to try and win the game or take a point. Some of the movement and passing was shocking, with Shelvey in particular ignoring the conditions by playing long balls which were an absolute waste. McClaren’s changes were again bizarre and useless in equal measure with the introduction of Riviere coming before that of Perez and Doumbia. Why he feels that was our best opportunity of a goal is beyond me. The c**ts scored 1 goal in 20 plus matches, and that was a bastard fluke n all.
The game felt like it was drifting to a 0-0 draw when Colback, who again was awful on the night, lost control the ball which allowed Shaqiri to thump a ball past Rob Elliot. The goal stunk of relegation. We’ve been here before we should know.
McClaren panicked there after and brought on Perez and Doumbia. All too little too late, proving the fact he’s a clueless prick and a born loser. Other than Twente he’s never done a good job, and before you mention Boro he was s**te there n all.
United had a late chance from Doumbia where the superb Butland made a wonderful save, but in all honestly we got what we deserved. Nowt.
Saturday is now ever more massive given Swansea’s win. Win or bust. I’m happy I’m missing out. How depressing have we become ?
Try to enjoy the remainder of your week.
Our Fans: Annoyed, agitated, Apathetic by the end. 8 (2 deducted for the obsession over singing about Adam Johnson)
Their fans : Poor and quiet. Britannia atmosphere is a massive myth
MOM: Lascelles – Could be a player given coaching and time. So, needs to move away ASAP.
JACK McLANE – Follow Jack on – @
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