MATCH REPORT: Stoke City 1 Newcastle United 0, Britannia Stadium, 29/Sep/14, KO: 8pm, Premier League. Att:26,332

by • September 29, 2014 • Match reportsComments (16)1451

Yet another miserable display in the Potteries left us 2nd bottom due to Burnley’s missed Stoke10penalty at Crystal Palace and with a support base now so frustrated, angry and disillusioned that even loss after loss is beginning to make no difference and relegation is simply a waiting game away.

Pre-match reports of Ashley making comments to some loser, who spotted him in a pub, about Pardew being ‘dead’ should he lose at The Britannia have now proved to be false and the most hated manager in my lifetime was meandering around the away technical area, making indeterminate shouts to no one in particular in a jacket you’d be embarrassed to see that fella with the big head who used to sit around the Central Station in. Arriving in Stoke to a queue at The Harvesters pub pretty much summed our night up in retrospect.

Standing around waiting for something decent that was actually shit and always promised Ashleyproblemto be. Sacking this off for a drink in the ground was the only good decision of the night as 80% of the people in the away end at the point congregated around one bar whilst the other one had virtually no queue at all. Happy days. That was the end of any form of happiness.

Upon seeing the pitch I could almost feel the rage building up inside me. Pardew was soon in vision and another half-hearted protest began as the match kicked off. Unless we really make it completely untenable for this utter cretin then he will continue to be in charge; results seem to make no odds. We started the game in another abomination of a kit, I mean who the hell picked this utter disastrous combination of colours and did we get a shipment of huge shorts? Seriously huge fucking shorts. I have lived in smaller houses than the ones Sammy was wearing when he brought his circus act on in the second half.

Just on a quarter of an hour we were 1 down when surprise, surprise a simple cross was stokeprotestheaded in by Crouch. Janmaat, who by the way is fucking garbage and all the football hipsters can piss off, was beaten easily and Coloccini (who may as well just piss off back to Argentina to save any of the diminished reputation he has left) just stood next to Crouch as Stoke’s answer to Tim nice but Dim headed in the corner. Predictable, obvious and avoidable, 3 words that sum up Pardew’s tactics.

We had brief passages of pressure with the frankly awful and pea hearted Sissoko flashing a shot wide of the angle of post and bar and Janmaat having a decent long range effort tipped wide by Begovic.

That was pretty much it from us in the first half and we really should have conceded a penalty when the completely anonymous Gouffran rashly cut Moses down in the box but the ref waved it away.

Half time and the first real showing of anger was displayed as a mixture of the team and Pardew were booed down the tunnel. The second half began with us nearly going two behind as Arnautovic crashed a shot off the post with Krul completely beaten. We huffed and puffed and generally looked completely toothless and in no danger of getting a shot on target let alone a goal.

Obertan came on and actually ran at people and beyond them for once and it’s sad state of affairs when he is our best player or at least our most threatening. We managed to fashion one great late chance when Colback somehow hit the bar from about 6 yards out. We offered so little and the frustrations were building in the away end. Full time brought a huge mass of boos and some idiots actually applauding the team!

I don’t care what whoppers on Twitter or anywhere else say about ‘supporting the team’. I will when the game is on and they show me they are at least trying and there is some semblance of organisation and tactical nous.

There is none of that at the minute and the sooner Pardew the cancer and Ashley the even bigger cancer are removed from this football club the better. Utter dross on and off the pitch.

‘We’re shit and we’re sick of it’  


Newcastle United: Krul, Janmaat, Williamson, Coloccini, Dummett, Tiote, Colback, Sissoko, Cabella (Ameobi 74), Gouffran (Obertan 68), Riviere (Cisse 46).

Subs: Anita, Elliot, S.Taylor, Armstrong.   



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16 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Stoke City 1 Newcastle United 0, Britannia Stadium, 29/Sep/14, KO: 8pm, Premier League. Att:26,332


    No surprise !!!!

  2. Phil Atkinson says:

    If you were coach and Stoke were the opposition playing with a 6ft 7in centre forward (albeit of limited ability) surely you would delegate your 6ft 3in “stopper” centre back to man mark him leaving your “footballing” centre back to play off him. Not Newcastle. They persisted with Williamson as right side and Collo as left side. All that Crouch did was play down the right hand channel against Collo and this resulted in the only goal. How come Pards and his team of coaches with all their coaching badges can’t apparently see this?

  3. Boomtown says:

    best just to leave this blank… nothing to say really!!!

  4. Neil says:

    Pardew might be out of his depth but to say he’s the “most hated” manager in your lifetime is crazy. Dalglish? Took over the most talented squad in our modern history, dismantled it, replaced it with a team containing the likes of Guivarch, Hamilton, Serrant, Georgiadis, Rush, Brady, Andersson etc – and spent bloody millions in the process. Souness – took over the second most talented squad in our modern history, dismantled it, and signed the likes of Boumsong, Moore, Babayaro and the massively talented Amdy Faye (proper player)….not to mention blowing £18m on Owen. To be fair to Pardew he has zero transfer budget, no say in signings and zero support from the none existent board room. He is an extremely limited manager but to basically say he’s done a worse job than those two muppets (I could reasonably add Gullit & Allardyce) is ignoring the facts. People need to realise that getting rid of Pardew will make no difference whatsoever as long as Ashley remains in charge.

  5. Mick says:

    Stoke closed down everyone except Williamson, they were happy for him to have the ball. Teams know that he will give them the ball and we don’t seem to be able to come up with any other tactic to move forward with the ball.

  6. David Chapman says:

    Not having that Janmaat is shite, I think he’s by miles our most talented player, he’s comfortable on the ball and is one of our only players who doesn’t shit himself when the ball is played to feet, Talking of people with no ability whatsoever, how the fuck is Mike Williamson playing in the Premier League?! my 4 year old daughter has better technique than him, I literally cringe whenever the ball arrives at his feet and he hoofs it away like the fat kid in our 5 a side team.
    Paul Dummett is fucking hopeless, Coloccini is taking the piss, Tiote and Colback are sound, the three creative midfielders are about as creative as a bag of crisps and that French striker isn’t a striker at all he’s just shit.

    On the plus side Ameobi looked bright, the lad actually came on and looked really positive, I legitimately cant think of anything else that was good, even our strip was abysmal, the only laugh I had was at the people in Wonga tops holding up Sack pieces of paper.

    • Alan says:

      Newcastle supporters in Wonga tops. . . thicker than fucking whale spunk.

    • David X Smith says:

      Janmaat is comfortable on the ball, of that there is no doubt, but surely that is a pre-requisite of being a professional footballer. The things that separate the good players from the not so good is what they are like doing the difficult things. He cannot defend and allows wingers far too much time and space. Maybe i was a little harsh saying he is shit but he’s not very good in my opinion. Time will tell though and i guess in experience we have had players before who have taken time to adapt.

  7. Chris says:

    Agree with everything apart from harsh criticism of Janmaat looks like a good reliable full back who’ll be useful going forward as well. Only him, tiote and colback look up to it rest are a load of shite

  8. GB says:

    Glad to see I’m not the only one who doesn’t rate Janmaat..

    We released the wrong Ameobi

  9. Chris C says:

    I can understand why you’re critical of various players, their performances perhaps warrant the assessments you’ve made BUT the problem is they’re dispirited, badly organised and seemingly confused NOT bad players. The problem as we know is in the management and that’s where our anger needs to remain focussed.

    • David chapman says:

      I agree that the likes of Cisse, Colbeck, Tiote, Krul are not bad players, I completely agree that Pardew’s tactics are to blame for Cabella, Coloccini and Riviere being totally ineffectual, however I remain convinced that Williamson and co are just not good enough to be at Newcastle United.

  10. Ant says:

    “Pardew…the most hated manager in my lifetime”: were you there to witness Big Sam and his brand of anti-football? I’m in my 40-ies and I must admit that I have seen (much) worse from NU.
    Also, this is a genuine question, not a criticism: if some supporters get high blood pressure just by looking at the pitch pre-match and they are not willing to back the team no matter what (eg, by applauding them at the end), what is the point of attending the blessed game?!
    For the record, I value my mental health and bank balance, so I’ve decided to stay well away from any NU-related activities 🙂

    • David X Smith says:

      The reason i termed him as the most hated manager in my lifetime was because the vitriol afforded to luminaries such as Dogleash and big fat Sam was that they were jettisoned before it got to this point. Allardyce, for example was here for 5 minutes and therefore the hatred didn’t reach the point that this has. If Ruud had stayed on beyond the derby losing game after game with no sacking in the offing then maybe he may have faced a similar reaction. As for the anger reaching a crescendo even before the game, this was somewhat tongue-in-cheek, although news of exactly the same team, formation, tactics and ideas does tend towards rage.

      I am happy to agree to disagree on the Janmaat issue although i feel that it is a typical signing under this regime: cheapish and limited. Just my opinion though which frankly means nothing at all.

  11. tom bates says:

    Exactly David Smith, I would say pardew is the most hated mostly for being in ashleys back pocket and patronising the fans. As you say Allardyce, Dalglish and Souness were dismissed before the protests fully took off, they were also appointed because of good track records (Souness league cup previous season with Blackburn) something Pardew didnt have. We have had far more heavy defeats under Pardew than we ever did under the previous ‘failures’. Gullit was fairly poplular initially as we played decent football, reached a cup final before it quickly turned to shit. And who can match pardew derby record, eh? I would argue Dalglish was our worst results wise though as previously mentioned, taking us from the Entertainers to an equivalent of Aston Villa last season.