MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 0 Leicester City 3, St James’ Park, 21/Nov/15, KO: 3pm, Premier League. Att:50,151.

by • November 21, 2015 • Match reportsComments (13)3346

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Our unimpressive season took a sharp turn for the worse after an embarrassing afternoon against a very decent Leicester team who ended the day top of the league whilst we trudged away in abject misery.  McLaren kept the team the same from the poor performance at Bournemouth and despite an injury scare, Jamie Vardy was named in their team as he looked to equal the record for consecutive scoring in the Premier League era.  Mind, if he’d had his foot amputated in midweek he’d have been begging for a start against our back four, but more of them later.

The first half trundled along with our usual lack of direction but what little semblance of a formation we were playing to McClarenLeicestercame to an end inside 20 minutes when Tiote limped off with what looked like a hamstring injury.  For a normal club, his exit should have been at worst shrugged off but on trotted Thauvin and I’d have to guess at this because I’m still not sure after the following 70 minutes, but I think it meant Perez dropping back into midfield, Wijnaldum held in an electromagnetic forcefield with a ten yard circumference around the centre circle and Sissoko running around like a blundering arse with the ball intermittently ending up six yards ahead of any run he attempted.  Presumably that was the ‘system’ they’d been asked to play anyway.

We had created barely anything and had received a couple of warnings ourselves, notably when Mahrez skinned the pitifully terrible Dummett to pull a dangerous cross back from the byline before they took the lead just before half time.  Predictably, it was Vardy that broke the deadlock with a crisp yet alarmingly simple finish.  The move itself stemmed from an aimless hump upfield from Janmaat to no-one in particular that was worked at pace back to the England striker and he made no mistake, to generous applause from the home fans.  In the ever prickly debate over what we are supposed to clap, what we’re not and which disasters are or aren’t worthy of a minute of our time, I joined in with the applause.  Fair play to the lad, I’d love him at our club.

If the first half was terrible, it was nothing on the second which was as concerning as I’ve seen at SJP in a long while, Lacoste Water Repellant Down Jacket - Blackwhich when you consider the context is going some rattle.  We didn’t start whatsoever and Vardy turned Mbemba with ease before rattling his shot against the bar.  The words ‘he is a class defender’ might fit neatly into a terrace ditty, but let’s be honest, he’s not is he.  Low concentration threshold, easily bullied, positionally dubious.  If Thauvin is no better than Cabella, is he any better than Mbiwa?

Mitrovic was mercifully dragged off after an hour and the more I see of him, the more the awful realisation dawns that he’s actually a big fucking plank.  He was atrocious today and I’ve seen barely anything at all from him in his United career so far to suggest that he’s worthy of, in Simpson’s words this week ‘building our team around’.  Aside from the fact that he’s got the finesse of Shefqi Kuqi, his reputation as a ‘hard man’ seems hysterically far from the mark when he’s up against a big lad.  Oh and he never really puts himself in a position to score either.  If he gets double figures this season I’d be astonished.  But then, who at the strategy meeting this summer thought that the answer to our consolidation in the Premier League rested on a 21 year old from a tinpot European league with no pace, a volatile temperament and no obvious goalscoring ability?  For £12m?

Cisse’s introduction predictably did little to further our cause and they doubled their lead when Ulloa headed in at the back post with no-one within a mile of him.  Dummett was nowhere to be seen when Mahrez put the ball over but I can almost forgive him on the grounds of him neither being good enough or playing in his correct position but the responsibility for tracking Ulloa fell to Janmaat and for me, he’s been disgraceful this season.  Palpably not trying, that lad.  By all means lambast the likes of Sissoko and Coloccini for their arrogant wretchedness but don’t forget our Dutch fullback in that bracket.

I buggered off to the Telegraph when malingering tosspot Siem de Jong came from the bench to replace Perez (do yourselfClassic1 a favour, eh Ayoze and fulfil your talent – just remember to say nice things about us) and was just leaving the ground when they scored a third through Okazaki.

Fair play to Leicester, they looked a very reasonable team and of course wouldn’t be top at the back end of November if they weren’t doing something right, good luck to them.  I’ve barely scratched the surface on the situation we find ourselves in within the confines of this report so let’s just keep it simple.  We are institutionally rotten.  Our owner is a nightmare, our chief executive is a joke, our manager wouldn’t be in his position in ‘normal’ circumstances, our coaching staff are abysmal, our youth set up is alarmingly amateurish and, here’s the crunch our players are fucking garbage.

I’ve stopped subscribing to the ‘they are a better side than this’ argument because I can’t pick one player who I don’t think Link to Toon Photography websiteis playing to the level of his ability.  After three years, I don’t think Sissoko is a thrusting, international midfield dynamo.  He’s an unintelligent coward with the touch of an elephant.  I don’t think Thauvin looks shite because he’s playing in a poor side, I just think he’s shite.  Look at all of those players and ask yourself, seriously, based on the evidence in front of you who you think is majorly underperforming.

We are where we belong, in every sense of the word except for our supporters.

Keep the Faith

Newcastle United  – ELIOTT 4, Janmaat 1, Coloccini 1, Mbemba 3, Dummett 1, Sissoko 3, Anita 3, Tiote 3 (Thauvin 3), Wijnaldum 2, Mitrovic 0 (Cisse 3), Perez 3

Ref – Jones – 7 – Never noticed anything amiss.

Our Fans – 3 – If anything, I thought the team got away lightly.  It’s miraculous that anyone can muster any sort of support on afternoons like this, so 3 for trying

Their Fans – 8 – Very good, enjoyed themselves and why shouldn’t they?


GARETH HARRISON – Follow Gareth on @truefaith1892

On the morning of every Newcastle United first team game, true faith publishes it’s pre-match newsletter, The Special. The Special is written by regular true faith writers and provides original, current fanzine writing that can be read on any device you care to mention but we reckon its perfect on a smart-phone and provides an ideal read on the way to games. If you missed the issue of The Special for the Leicester game you can have a look at it still – just click here

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13 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 0 Leicester City 3, St James’ Park, 21/Nov/15, KO: 3pm, Premier League. Att:50,151.

  1. Bob says:

    Leicester were everything we are not. Pressing quickly, moving the ball from the back quickly, passing to team mates, energetic, moving into space. I haven’t seen the goals yet but others are telling me Vardy’s goal was offside although I doubt that would have made any difference. The ref didn’t do us any favours missing the usual holding and tugs on Mitro, and as usual the linesmen seem blind. None of our players had anything near a decent game although I would absolve Perez and Mbemba any blame, both young and trying. Both Sissoko and Gini were anonymous with Sissoko attempting a number of flicks and tricks which were useless. Whatever happened to Gini since his 4 goals??? For some reason we try to play everything through Anita who has no creativity whatsoever. We have tried the same with Tiote in the past with the same result. Really missing Cabaye type. So much for the green shoots of recovery. Wish I had some hair to pull out.

    • Jarra mick says:

      Agree with you Bob i have slated Anita in the past but he was at least trying. You’re spot on he had a lot of the ball however what he can do with it is limited. What impressed me was his desire to win the ball something which seemed to be lacking from all his team mates. Crying out for a ball player in midfield. The fighting spirit we seen against Chelsea and even the effort against Stoke has disappeared, suddenly players who looked to be showing some promise, MItrovic, Gini, even Perez just don’t seem up to it.

      • mike says:

        check their players ghosted passed Anita is a pedestrian he either backed off or just let them past him. lightweight creates nothing never looks like a prem player and will never be one. to many like him De Jong? total waste

  2. Paul says:

    Yesterday was horrendous, depressing and terrifying in equal measure. Leicester work hard, track runners, press opposition players and close down options when they don’t have the ball and generally work as a team. Granted they have a couple of gems, and real pace, in Vardy and Mahrez but that doesn’t seem too complicated a gameplan to me – work hard, stifle the opposition, move the ball forward quickly on the counter. What is McLaren asking our lot to do? It certainly isn’t to close people down or even pass to a black and white shirt judging by yesterday’s performance. It won’t be long before we get told that we simply can’t compete with the Leicesters of this world because… (insert any old bullshit excuse here).
    Have to agree with the people who’ve been asking on here about Carr’s recent track record because we look to have signed some real toss for waaaaaay over what they’re worth. I think Mbemba looks OK to be honest, certainly better than Mbiwa for my money and a distance better than Colo in his first Premiership season, (hopefully this will be his last Premiership season though). I agree Mitro is poor and that rolling around holding his face every week makes me cringe, but Thauvin??!!! I’d take Cabella over him every day of the week, I’ve seen nothing to make me think he’s a footballer, never mind a good one. His body language reeks of surrender every time I see him and I can’t be the only one thinking he’s only getting the odd runout because of the amount of cash we’ve blown on him. I’ve heard we’re looking at another striker in January but unless we make a lot of other signings it won’t cut much ice. We could sign Aguero and it wouldn’t make any difference at the minute he’d never see the ball.

    • mike says:

      Thauvin cost how much….a proven prem striker Austin would have cost?? only at the town could we do that…

  3. Alex says:

    Really glad you mentioned Janmaat. Would never knock the supporters but alot of ours hold him aloft as some kind of superstar in our team which could not be further from the truth. Amazes me how modern day full-backs are accepted as being good despite the fact they cannot master basic defending. After all, this is their primary job. Right-sided defender. Not right-sided winger who might occasionally be in line with the centre halves to clear the ball. Defend first, attack as a bonus if you can.

    • john rush says:

      Best full back on the pitch yesterday by a country mile was Danny Simpson who I sill feel performed more consistently well for us than either Debuchy and Janmaat have done since. Super Mac said in the Chronicle Leicester play each game with the prime intention to win it he was right, and while I dont go along with the view that Gary Neville is a brilliant pundit I do agree with his assertion that successful teams have the mentality that they can win every game. McClaren like Pardew before him appears to start with the plan not to lose first and foremost, why else do we start home games with two defensive midfielders. This leaves a big gap between the midfield and the forwards which the opposition exploit. You could see it happening from early on yesterday. McClaren had a chance to put it right when Tiote got injured he could have put Tauvin on and moved Wjnlandum into an advanced role in the centre of midfield or even put De Jong there and see if he could actually produce something in 70 minutes instead of 5 or 10, but instead he moves our top scorer back alongside Anita. Seems Mitrovic is coming in for some stick however if our tactic is to constantly play long balls for him to battle for then he needs somebody to run beyond him, he plays too square on to me, as someone has pointed out before he could benefit from some expert coaching from one of the best there has ever been who still lives up here a certain Mr Shearer, however that isn’t going to happen whilst this bunch are in charge, a shame that as it would be a far more positive for all concerned than Alan having to express his concern on Twitter every week. Finally I’m a bit old school and don’t agree with applauding the opposition, in fact I’ve expressed my opinions in the past to people around me who have to my dismay applauded the likes of ChelseaFC and Steven Gerrard in the last 10 years. However whilst I didn’t applaud Vardy yesterday I have to admire the lad for the way he has battled from being rejected by Sheff Wed and coming through non league to equal the record yesterdy

  4. Stephen B says:

    Relegation FODDER, depressingly predictable & nothing positive at all, can’t wait for the next game! NOT

  5. Andy bee says:

    How the f8ck does Gini warrant a 2?! When we had the ball he went looking for a Leicester player and stood next to him when we didn’t have the ball he went and stood marking space…..unbelievable. Unfortunately also noticed a lot of the team seemed to ignore him in any semblance of moves ( although to be fair they also did that with the other outfield players!) . Gini constantly glanced at the bench almost begging to be brought off?! Something is amiss schtevie is there a dressing room split???
    Stopped hoping that mitro is gonna be our saviour he is an absolute embarrassment and needs to have a hard look at himself ……unfortunately our staff and manager will certainly not instil that drive and performance in him as they are more clueless than our players.
    So listening to steve mc interview after match on radio newcastle his pearls of wisdom were…..and he said it to mick lowes at least three times …. ” that’s football” .
    Sorry steve it ain’t anywhere close and you are hapless .

  6. gavnufc85 says:

    Hark back to when mclaren had the England job, he was best mates with ‘J T and Stevie G’. The man has no presence and even when he’s angry he looks like he is smiling. I couldn’t say but I reckon everyone would treat him as a door mat to be honest. Solid coach no doubt but that’s about it. Unfortunately he is just a pawn in Ashley’s empire so it’s all irrelevant, as long as we stop up annually and fill the sports direct arena. The only chink of light is Perez, who was strangely subdued yesterday, maybe he’s had enough too. Only a month to go Ayoyze..

  7. john rush says:

    Saw a tweet that we should have made more of an effort to sign Dele Alli. Totally agree but the trouble is such is the flawed way this club is run he would have been farmed out to a Championship or League 1 club rather than playing for the first team and England like he is doing at an ambitious forward thinking club like Tottenham

  8. tulip in Perth australia says:

    I was embarrassed by this performance. It was so bad I’m cancelling my satellite TV subscription. If I wasn’t trying in my workplace I’d be on management report for sub standard performance. What does McLaren do to motivate this bunch because they didn’t look interested. I’d hoped after a rubbish performance at Bourne mouth they’d come out looking like they wanted to play well and win well. Apparently lack of confidence must affect your ability to run into space, pass the ball and run again. I can’t watch this shambles any more.

  9. Anton says:

    I know I’ll receive a kicking, but I’ll have to stand up for the players.
    Mitrovic: he is stranded on his own, trying to get to the end of 50m punts, with no real attacking partner and with the midfielders about 25m away from him. Not even Shearer could get us anything from these sort of situations.
    Perez: whose brilliant idea has it been to turn him into a winger? And should we be looking forward to seeing Barcelona playing Suarez as a centre half?
    Janmaat: our most potent threat from the wing, but with not a soul to link up, as the mid-field is too deep/conservative. Of course he loses the ball a lot. And, in defence, he is double-teamed by the opposition who are not worried about our non-existent counter-attacking.
    Gini/Sissoko/Anita: If we’ve bought them as Nicky Butt-style midfield enforcers, we are clearly mental. They need to be playing just behind the attack, not in front of the defence. If we’ve bought 3 players of the exact same kind, then -again- it’s our fault.
    Thauvin: cast your minds back in time (ie a couple of months ago) in our game against ManU – we had a lively, fast and confident player making an impressive debut and causing all sorts of panic for a top-4 team. Who abducted and re-programmed him since?!
    Collo and Dummett: fantastic squad players, but with no competition they’ve been elevated to regulars. Not their fault they are not Maldini and Baresi.

    And please let’s not get into the “playing for pride” stuff: teams need organisation and instructions (unless we spend £700m to assemble a Real/Barca/Bayern dream team). We are playing like a school team. The players try their hardest, but the opposition is almost always better set up and drilled. Our players look lost and no amount of running around and putting in crunching tackles is going to fix this.
    This is the end game for us under Ashley. I genuinely don’t know how bad it is going to get eventually. Sort-term, I’d bet good money on not getting more than a point between now and New Year.