MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 1 AFC Bournemouth 3, St James’ Park, 5/Mar/16, KO: 3pm, Att: 52,107

by • March 5, 2016 • Match reportsComments (23)4829

A disastrous and dismal performance saw us deservedly beaten by a dominant Bournemouth side and staring relegation in the face.  Unbelievably, McCLaren chose to bring Riviere in from the cold for a start up front, replacing Mitrovic from Wednesday night at Stoke and Perez came in for Gouffran.  The completely scattergun approach of McCLaren’s team selection says everything about his utter lack of a clue and while I’m no fan of Mitrovic, what is the poor bugger supposed to do when he’s in one week, out the next – likewise Perez.

We started quite brightly without actually having a shot on target.  Shelvey, who was the only United player that could McClarenBournemouth1come anywhere near holding his head up at the end of the match with any sort of pride after putting a shift in, dragged a shot just wide from the edge of the box and Riviere saw an effort deflected just wide of the post.  The men in the minging fluorescent pink shirts were as much of a danger as us though and from early on, were clearly better drilled and sharper than us and had a couple of half chances themselves before they took the lead shortly before the half hour.

The goal stemmed from the 326nd misplaced pass in a dangerous area by the utterly hideous Jack Colback this season and the resulting ball found it’s way into the far corner via a deflection from the equally dreadful Steven Taylor for an own goal from Josh King’s shot.  Any side starting Colback deserves to be relegated and for a moment my hopes were raised when Anita stripped to come on immediately after the goal but unfortunately it was Dummett that was subbed off.  He was apparently injured but seemed fine when he went off and the crowd certainly weren’t pleased with the move.

We were deservedly booed off at half time and McLaren reacted by hooking Riviere for Mitrovic – what the fuck was he doing on in the first place though?  The second half was even worse than the first though with no discernible reaction or effort to claw things back in evidence.  Some of the body language was atrocious.  Janmaat looked like he just wanted to be off the pitch, Sissoko didn’t try a ha’peth, WIjnaldum didn’t kick the ball after about the third minute of the game and Taylor spent almost the entire afternoon pointing at other people to mask his own failings, blowing out of his arse and looking finished.

It was little surprise therefore that they extended their lead with twenty minutes to go with embarrassing ease, King virtually walking past our back line before picking his spot in the roof of the net.  The goal brought an outpouring of abuse against McClaren, with all four corners of the ground joining in with a chorus of ‘You’re getting sacked in the morning’ as the stands started to empty.  The manager did what he should have done six months ago and dragged Sissoko off, I hate that prick me, but the game was long gone.

We were given a glimmer of hope, well I say hope but even though it brought us back to 2-1 it never felt like any more than a consolation when Shelvey picked out Perez with a lovely ball to leave him free on goal and he duly finished but if we were to have got a point it would have been as big a misjustice as our win down there earlier in the season.  They had a good chance to get their third, firing just past the far post before they did finally wrap things up in the last minute when Charlie Daniels found the bottom corner with minimal fuss or challenge to put a more realistic gloss on the scoreline to empty the stadium completely.

We are going down and we deserve to.  Even in the extremely unlikely event that any competent manager could be persuaded to come in and take over from the hapless McClaren, even if for a short term stint, the team is too rotten and lacking in talent to keep us up.  I realise that I conflict with a lot of fans and certainly with the Editor when I say that at best, I’m ambivalent to relegation and at the other end of the scale, I’d actively will us to go down because dodging another bullet for another season of this simply adds to the corrosion of our great club.  If going down this season sends us into a tailspin then frankly I’d rather watch a club I was proud of scratch around in the fourth division with players giving their all than this fucking garbage.

I’m not even going to bother patronising you with a ‘Keep the Faith’.  Mine’s long gone.

Newcastle United  – Eliott 4, Janmaat 3, Lascelles 4, S Taylor 2, Dummett 5 (Anita 3), Colback 2, Sissoko 2 (Aarons 4), Wijnaldum 2, SHELVEY 7, Perez 4, Riviere 2 (Mitrovic 5)

Ref – Tierney – 6 – No real big calls to make

Our Fans – 4 – Finally turned en masse on McLaren followed by a defiant ‘Newcastle’ chant, otherwise numbed by it all

Their Fans – 7 – Good numbers, predictable song book. 

GARETH HARRISON – Follow Gareth on @truefaith1892 


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23 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 1 AFC Bournemouth 3, St James’ Park, 5/Mar/16, KO: 3pm, Att: 52,107

  1. Nick says:

    Heh heh…we didn’t deserve that…at least there are still 10 games to go…Leicester: we go again…heh heh…that’s football. No one likes you, have some dignity and leave.

  2. Meditative Mag says:

    im beginning to wonder if some Sunderland supporter has acquired a doll wearing a black and white shirt and is manoevring it around a Subbuteo pitch with no reference to the position of the ball, sticking spins into it so as create a curious lethargy, twisting its arms and legs to simulate injury and forcing it to smile randomly.

    It’s the only logical answer.

  3. Ande Walsh says:

    All pointing at the designated wrong man. McClaren is the prestige & everyone is falling for it.

  4. Peter Ward says:

    Disaster stares us in the face.Nothing but a root and branch reform of the club will do . In the short term McLaren needs to go along with Charnley and the rest. If we get relegated it won’t be a quick return so a major effort to avoid this must be made. Get Moyes if possible and make him an offer he can’t refuse. Carr should also go and the manager given much more power.Will Ashley do it? If he doesn’t it will finally prove what an arrogant and despite his success with Sports Direct. – now under serious fire – a man lacking any qualities other than arrogance.

  5. David says:

    I think relegation would be disastrous, but if we stay up it will just perpetuate the mediocrity.

    I was willing to go along with the jam tomorrow approach because we needed to fettle our finances and I believe we can be both self sustaining and successful. But it’s now nine seasons since Mike Ashley rolled into town, the money is finally being spent but with mixed results, and we’ve had one fifth place finish in that time with no visible signs of progress.

    Contrast that with the previous nine years. Cup finals, top five finishes, Champions and Europa League campaigns, and an outside tilt at the title.

    That’s where we should be, but we aren’t, and it won’t change until Mike Ashley gets good people in or he leaves. That’s the stark reality.

    In the short term I can’t see us improving enough under Tufty, and if he was to walk the plank it should have been before the jolly to Spain, and who would come now, even on a lucrative short term deal?

    But we’ve got nothing to lose by approaching an out of work manager who can add some steel and tactical nous. Keep Steve McClaren as head coach so big Mike doesn’t have to pay out compensation.

    I would approach Mourinho just to keep us up. Yes it’s a fantasy and he and the rest of the country would probably laugh at us, but we’ve got nothing to lose – we are enough of a laughing stock already.

  6. Peter Shearer says:

    Relegation will be fine if it is the beginning of the end of Ashley. Nothing can be worse that our present state-and I do mean nothing! I do not think his pride (or his Sports Direct shareholders) will like the Championship-so we just have to match his stubbornness. Be brave-it may be a rocky ride!

  7. Bob says:

    I now understand this “process” thing, make us worse than last year and head as easily as possible towards relegation, get a payoff so he doesn’t have to work the rest of his contract. There are not many managers who are prepared to walk and miss out on the compo, the likes of Keegan and I think Gullitt. McClaren like a lot of them have no dignity and the system is just a roundabout with retirement to the tv.
    He still doesn’t know his best team either in personnel or position and like Pardew before him has not improved one player, so much for being a great coach. Sorry, maybe Elliott but that was probably himself out of necessity.

  8. Pat Hughes says:

    I went yesterday because I’m weak and I’m not a competent boycotter – being at SJP really is an addiction of sorts. Unlike the previous umpteen seasons I realised I had no great expectations and embarrassingly I had to keep asking who that was etc. At one time I recognised every player from a distance, by size, style or movement so the match report filled in lots of blanks. Thanks. I’m glad I haven’t got a season ticket now and can be selective if I want but the most poignant moment yesterday was seeing 2 people hurl their season tickets onto the pitch and walk out when Bournemouth got their second. The fact that they were prepared to miss the mackem game says it all. Our club cannot sink any lower.

  9. Rob says:

    Relegation hasn’t done Leeds, Wednesday, Forest, Coventry or Portsmouth any good and you can soon add Bolton to the list of teams who don’t stop the rot at the Championship. Our problems of the last few seasons fade into insignificance compared to what has happened to these clubs since leaving the PL.

    If McLaren stays then we will go down, if they sack him I would give Nigel Pearson a go, kept Leicester up from a similar position last season and if we do go down knows how to get out of the Championship, probably now desperate enough to take the job too.

  10. Peter Shearer says:

    Yes Rob-we have heard that argument, but it does not scare me at all. I do not care how far we fall, there is nothing of our club left to support until he goes. I am happy to be in the Northern League, before we climb back-if that is what it takes. People will always find a reason not to do things, but that allows people like Ashley to hurt them. We need to fight all the way, and not let anything distract us. That is the only way to get rid of him, but too may shy away from the fight. There is a petition on “The Mag” to get rid of McClaren, but it is Ashley we should be aiming at.

    • Rob says:

      But Peter this assumes that he will be replaced by something better and not something worse. I have also followed Darlo for years. We thought it couldn’t get any worse than Reg Brealy asset stripping the club, then George Reynolds came, built a stadium that would ultimately be the undoing of the club and took us into administration. George Houghton comes along, can’t be any worse can he?, administration again. Raj Singh, surely he can’t be worse? well he could, he saw then end of ‘Darlington FC’ as a club, but he was as bad as it gets so you do hit the bottom eventually. Do you really fancy supporting Newcastle 1892 at Gateshead Stadium against West Auckland?

  11. Peter says:

    The problem lies, as ever, with Ashley. He is simply using the club for his own ends and this is shown in the way he has run it. It is all very well calling for McClaren to go, but really McClaren is irrelevant. It is the way the club is wrong that is wrong and that is why I can’t see is ever attracting a decent manager until Ashley sells up. Ashley is not interested in building anything worthwhile, so why would anybody, with any ambition, join us as manager?

    Ashley just wants yes-men who will do his bidding and not challenge him – no top manager would put up with being put in such a position.

  12. Peter says:

    “the way the club is run” not “the way the club is wrong”

  13. Peter Shearer says:

    I agree Rob that it is something of a gamble re future owners, but I would take that gamble anytime over what we now have. Someone has to get it right at NUFC one day. And there are examples of things turning out for the better. If we fall so far, then maybe the fans can own the club. I do follow Penrith in the Northern league, whilst waiting for Ashley to go- so that holds no terrors for me!

    • Rich says:

      I’m with Peter on this one. I have no passion left in me. I watched the game and was as completely indifferent when they scored their goals and when Perez scored. Gone are the days of polar opposite emotions when watching a game. This isn’t what it is all about and i’m mighty pissed off that one of my joys in life has been taken away. We stay up, more of the same, no thanks. We were pretty dire in the eighties but i got more fulfilment watching us struggle then than i do now.

  14. tom Bates says:

    I blame the club’s transfer strategy more than I blame Mclaren. I said on here pre season that raiding the french league for bargains was the wrong policy and a lot on here disagreed. Last few signings gouffran Riviere saivet mbia thauvin cabella haidara. None of them are up to the standard required. Mbemba has looked a good signing however. We aren’t an arsenal or city who can sign top quality overseas players and the difference at those clubs is the players are glad to be there not eyeing up a move. If we are lucky enough to stay up I expect us to raid the French markets again then blame the manager for the teams failings. The only thing cheering me up is seeing the grin being wiped off Pardews face after another defeat. This is meant to be the England manager in waiting yet he sticks to a counter attack game at home even against ten men.

    • Rich says:

      I agree Tom, if we spend £80m then it has to be spent wisely. Although i’ve always maintained a decent manager would only need half that amount.

  15. kenny says:

    Charnley is the one to blame, this mouse will dither till its to late & Ashley strangles him! & who the fuck is this PR bloke who stalks the place & seems to be in charge at present. After the mackems have finished dancing on our grave in 2 weeks time we should string these bastards up.

  16. Derek Batey says:

    Totally agree with previous posts about Ashley being the problem and the cancer within the club. I would take as many relegations as it takes to get rid of him. He has disconnected the club from the community and the city and uses it simply to get the vile sports direct plastered on tv.
    Don’t get me wrong mclaren is bad, very bad but campaigns against him are only deflecting the anger away from the man responsible for the mess. Ashley out must take priority.

  17. allan tait says:

    A heartbreaking and honest appraisal of our pathetic football club. I have no answers but Ashley has shown the same, Where next? Keep The Faith ???????

  18. Martin says:

    There’s no mention of a load of idiots clapping the players at the end, in the East Stand. No idea what they were hoping to achieve.

  19. tom Bates says:

    Applauding the team when beaten is fine as long as the players show some semblance of effort. Applauding them when they have taken the piss out of the fans and the manager is not loyalty it’s helping to allow Ashley to do what he wants with the club. I never agree with booing your own players mind but Sissoko had that coming.