MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 2 Swansea City 3, St James’ Park, 26/Apr/15, KO: 3pm.

by • April 26, 2015 • Match reportsComments (17)1951

Another miserable afternoon in an increasingly febrile atmosphere saw our rotten football AO1club drift ever closer to the relegation places and fans’ patience at absolute zero.   After acting like a total cunt towards him over the last few weeks, Carver brought Gutierrez back into the starting line up and despite no organised boycott this week, there were empty seats all over SJP – I would put it at around 10,000 empty and miles off the official attendance.

On entering the ground, my fatha was pulled aside by a steward who I can only describe as fucking gormless and told that he couldn’t take his red card, distributed by into the ground.  When he politely asked what the legal basis of being denied entry with the card, the scruffy twat claimed that it was a ‘breach of the peace’.  Might check that one out.  I’d have been more than happy to turn around and leave at that point, but buoyed by the fact I had another half dozen in my pocket, I bit my lip and trudged up to my seat.

The first twenty minutes was played at a pace and in an atmosphere that would have made Swans3a pre-season friendly look like the Champions League final.  Swansea clearly weren’t arsed, bar Colback and Gutierrez, we clearly weren’t arsed and it was only through a comedy piece of defending that we surprisingly took the lead.  Riviere did well to outpace his man and put over a good cross, albeit one that should have been easily dealt with.  Amat made a complete hash of it though and left Perez with a tap-in to an empty net, which he gleefully took.  The kid is one of barely any bright points this season and it was good to see him get a goal that his graft this season merited.

The game quickly settled back into a stupefying coma, livened up only by the 34th minute, when I would say 90% of the ground got to their feet, many brandishing red cards – fuck you, East Stand steward gimp.  Swansea equalised in added time at the end of the half.  Olivera got the goal for them straight from a corner, totally unmarked but the timing of it was symptomatic of our malaise.  We’ve conceded loads of goals this season (well, we’ve just conceded loads of goals this season full stop, but..) in the first or last couple of minutes of a half and it is simply down to the fact that we are poorly drilled, poorly coached and frankly not bothered.

As if to emphasise the point, they went ahead shortly after the break, when Sigurdsson took advantage of some shocking defending – trademark shit clearance from Krul, trademark loss of ball in midfield, trademark ease of playing the ball straight through us into the box – so, so simple.  Talking of simple, there was a moment shortly after that which won’t make the match reports which summed up our side when Olivera, not the sharpest off the mark dummied Williamson, who was a good four yards behind him standing like a fucking goon, to easily nip round the other side of him and bear down on goal.  Honestly, I’m embarrassed watching that clown – he was arguably culpable for their third shortly after that when he did that stupid tiptoe run down the line chasing their winger who managed to compose himself long enough from pissing himself laughing to slip the cross through his legs for Cork to tap the ball in.  Total joke.

I was away at that point but I can confirm from watching MOTD that de Jong scored a neat volley as a consolation and I can also confirm from catching up with the reports that I am dying for someone to take Carver up on his offer, hop over the hoardings and knock the prick clean out.  Seems to have a love for acting the big man and shouting and swearing at women and bairns doesn’t he?  I’d reckon there’s a good few thousand Mags would be happy to oblige you, John.  One of us?  Fucking wanker – that’s not a kneejerk reaction to his pathetic attempts at management at us, Leeds, Sheff United and Toronto by the way, he’s been a total bellend for years – plenty of stories to tell on that score, don’t worry about that.

I can’t think of a more fitting conclusion to this report than the text I sent my fatha tonight after we’d both headed off from The Forth – ‘Worst time I can ever remember following them.  Even in the ‘bad old days’ of the late 80’s, the whole experience was million times better – proper grounds, proper fans and the excitement of it being properly edgy.  It’s heartbreaking at the minute because everything I loved about NUFC and football has disappeared in front of my eyes.  So much of my life has been driven by the club – my best friends, the fantastic times I’ve had with you and when I watch the people we have representing us now I hate them because they are pissing away so much more than a football team. Really, really sad’.

Going down?  I fucking hope so.

Keep the Faith

Newcastle United – Krul 5, Janmaat 4 (Abeid 3), Williamson 1, Coloccini 4, R Taylor 4, Anita 3, GUTIERREZ 6, Colback 6, Cabella 2 (de Jong ?), Riviere 5 (Armstrong 5), Perez 5

Ref – Swarbrick – 7 – Had nowt major to do

Our Fans – 5 – Relationship with the club is broken, beyond repair with this regime

Their Fans – 4 – Poorest following they’ve had up here in recent years

GARETH HARRISON – Follow Gareth on @truefaith1892 

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17 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 2 Swansea City 3, St James’ Park, 26/Apr/15, KO: 3pm.

  1. Pat Hughes says:

    Spot on! But I was luckier than you in that I left at HT and was on my bus heading along Barrack Road when Swansea got their 2nd. My friend and I were both soaked after doing our bit in Northumberland Street and early hot baths seemed a better option. If anyone wishes to criticise me for protesting outside that odious shop, going to the match, standing on 34 mins, leaving at HT or not boycotting the game completely, go ahead please – I don’t care. I took a pic of my seats and heritage stones and I really don’t care if I never up back to that place again.

    • mikey says:

      Good on you Pat for going to Sports Direct. My season ticket is cancelled, however the only thing keeping my relationship going with my (now dead) but still beloved club is the collective purpose i feel towards smashing Ashley.

      The club and relationship between the fans and the club is broken. The only unity of purpose i can still feel in my bones is the campaign to oust the big man and his joyless making of money.

      Other than that, i feel finished.

      • Pat Hughes says:

        I won’t be back in August but, like you, I will continue to back any campaign going until the mega maggot has gone.

  2. Richie says:

    Me and my mates have been saying that “Ashley will never drive us away from OUR club.We’ll outlast him” Well it’s so far away from what was OUR club now that we’re all chucking it.
    Each of us has had a season ticket for 25 years and many more years of going to SJP (in my case 16 years) before that, but yesterday has shown us it’s over.We’re canceling Direct Debits tomorrow.He can have the money already paid but he’s getting no more.
    You’ve won Ashley. You can keep SDFC and all it’s become.

  3. mikey says:

    The club is completely destroyed.

    My brother took his bairn for his first ever game. He hated it. The atmosphere was nasty but also subdued, it really creeped him out and he wanted to leave, which they did after about 55 minutes.

    My first game as a bairn i fell in love with the atmosphere, the red hot noise the characters, the crack i could;t yet understand and the feeling of instant belonging, and that was against Ipswich in the early 80s (post Keegan).

    Not only is the relationship between the club and the fans broken, i believe football’s transition to a commodity and global brand, of which Ashley is the epitome, is breaking th relationship between the next generation of toon fans and football altogether. Something has snapped, and i think sadly its permanent.

    They’ve done everything they can to control and sanitise and price out working class football culture – all seater, season tickets, aggressive stewarding,high prices, no cash turnstiles etc – yet could just about keep people going because of the football and hope. Ashley has killed that hope utterly. Why would people want to go anymore? Once you;ve broken that regularity, as it seems about 10,000 of us have overnight, does it ever come back? Its dead, and the only way now in amongst all this depression is to step up the fight.

    Football as we’ve all known it has been killed, and if we don;t fight for a better future for it, its been killed permanently in Newcastle.

    Another football is possible, its only thing keeping me going. But i will not be back at St James’ park until Ashley is long gone. It is not my club with him there.

  4. Bean says:

    I couldn’t even give my tickets away yesterday. Will be at Wembley when we’re next at home, no takers for my tickets that day either. Ashley has done something I never thought would be possible, I couldn’t care less about NUFC. Well done mate.

  5. rich says:

    Thanks mike, my kids were brought up down south but were both brainwashed to support Newcastle. Now they don’t give a toss. I’ve tried to expalin all fans feel the same buth they are still young enough to be turned, and there is nothing i can do. Cheers twatty.

  6. Andy bee says:

    Two points:
    1) Ashley hasn’t been there last two games and doubtless if he returns to see our boycotts/ red cards again this season
    2) he also won’t give a sh8te about us jumping on buses and getting hot baths if that’s what you want to do….and I’m pretty certain he won’t subscribe to TF or read any of our (pitiful)rants
    I boycotted with thousands others for Spurs and put up with with shite with thousands of others for swans . Christ sake don’t turn this forum into self pity it won’t work lets get some calculated ideas and protests organised and implemented , not w8nk standing outside his tracksuit shops!

    • mikey says:

      “Christ sake don’t turn this forum into self pity it won’t work lets get some calculated ideas and protests organised and implemented”

      That is precisely what is happening. Right now. I said that is the only thing keeping me going, an organised and militant campaign against Ashley. I do not think it is self pity to bring into focus and articulate precisely what he is doing to our club. It is not simply about under investment. He is destroying the nature of the game and the club. Its worth pointing these things out so we remain focussed on change, and will not be fooled into accepting some sop he sends our way in the summer

    • Pat Hughes says:

      You’re quite right MA won’t care what I do or think but commenting is good for the soul and unlike him I’m happy to read the rants of others, pitiful, irrelevant or opposite views to my own. Agree with you that further protests need to be organised and implemented and even if it means standing outside his beloved shops again, I’m up for whatever it takes.

  7. skarabrae says:

    nufc as we knew it , no longer exsists, they may as well play in the red white & blue stripes of sports direct. i ve followed the club since the 70`s, i really do hope they go down!! well done jabba!!

  8. Jackson Yates says:

    I would be very surprised if Ashley wasn’t well informed about what’s being written about him on websites and social media. And I think he’s probably quite bothered about it. Anyone would be, no matter what image they project for the public.

  9. Peter Shearer says:

    We have got to keep the pressure up-for our own sanity as well as the future of NUFC. We need to make sure we keep all those that have boycotted involved as we cannot rely on just those inside the ground,many of whom will not join in unless they feel they have to. We need to decide quickly what we are going to do on the last day of the season to make the biggest statement that we can (plus ongoing actions up until then).

    We knew it would be long hard fight-so no quitting!

    • mikey says:

      I agree with you. Last day of the season we could make a statement of intent by getting on the pitch and refusing to leave.

      Peaceful protest in the middle of the park and delay the game or have it abandoned.

      All the games on the last day kick off at the same time on the same day televised worldwide. That would cause worldwide notice and unbelievable pressure on Ashley i can tell you.

      He needs to understand he has lost control of the club (the fans) if not yet the purse strings.

  10. Peter Shearer says:


  11. Drew Murty says:

    I thought it was a good game. De Jong will be like a new signing. Bring on Leicester. Easy 3 points.

    Nurse, pass my pills please.