MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 2 Chelsea 1, St James’ Park, 6/Dec/14, KO: 12:45, Premier League, Att: 52,019

by • December 7, 2014 • Match reportsComments (9)1338

As Newcastle fans, we ask ourselves fairly regularly ‘Why do we keep on doing this?’.  In allCisseChelsea likelihood, we’ll never win anything and there are more downs than ups but walking, actually no, bouncing out of SJP today then we had our answer.  There aren’t that many days like this and when they come along, we should enjoy them to the fullest because make no mistake, today was absolutely fucking mint.

Taylor came back in for Williamson (praise be) and Cabella was given a start and for the first twenty minutes, it looked like our fears of a long afternoon were going to be realised.  Chelsea looked dangerous every time they came forward and Willian could have had a couple himself, curling just wide and forcing a save from Elliot as they looked to exploit a gap between Sammy and Dummett at the back.  We weathered the early storm though and despite an almost catatonic atmosphere in the home crowd (which changed dramatically late on), we managed to get a foothold in the game and as the half wore on, we were equal to them.

Oscar came close with an overhead kick but we crafted a chance of our own when Perez setLeazesSoul up Colback after a mazy run only to see Courtois smartly off his line to smother the shot. More of the latter to come, but I’m unabashedly in love with Ayoze Perez.  The lad grafted his cock off this afternoon and despite being on a hiding to nothing by himself up front with Cahill and Terry for company all afternoon, still made a nuisance of himself all afternoon.  The kid is a gem.  Colback flashed another effort over after more good work from Perez and we went in at half time worthy of being level.

The interval saw the injured Eliott replaced by Alnwick for his first start – talk about in at the deep end for the kid but he endeared himself almost straight away by coming out to punch the ball and clear Costa clean out in the process.  Best striker in the league?  Colo, majestic throughout, had him in his pocket all afternoon.

No-one could have predicted what was to come though and (deep breath), great credit must go to Pardew for calling the substitution absolutely perfectly, taking off the largely ineffective Cabella for Cisse and seeing the dividends within minutes.  Personally, I thought he was poor in the main but huge credit must go to Sammy for our opener when he somehow dug out a fantastic cross with the ball behind him after a ball from Sissoko and when the resulting deflection found Cisse from six yards out, he made no mistake to wild celebration from the crowd.

We awaited an onslaught from the visitors, who brought Schurrle on almost immediately GallowgateSoulbut his first contribution was a cynical hack at Colback’s back that could have easily seen him red carded, the dirty perfect Aryan bastard.  They almost equalised when Hazard poked a shot against the post but it was joy unbridled moments later when we got the goal which looked to have sealed the game.  Colback made yet another great challenge on Hazard in the middle and from the resultant breakaway, Sissoko was released into the box.  It looked like he’d fluffed his chance but he managed to poke the ball square to Cisse who slotted into the net past their desperate defence.  Delirium.  Two-nil up against the new invincibles?  Incredible.  I’ll mention Colback at this point aswell because he was absolutely fucking fantastic today.  I’ll be honest, he’s not my ‘sort’ of player – give me an unpredictable Gallic genius every time but by God, he was phenomenal today.  He was absolutely everywhere and never put a foot wrong all afternoon.  As good a performance as I’ve seen at SJP in years.  Hats off to you bonny lad.

With only ten minutes or so left, it looked like we were home and dry but just moments later, all bets were off as Steven Taylor saw red for a crude lunge on Schurrle.  He could have had no complaints if it had been a straight red but we could certainly have had an argument that play should have been pulled up in the build up after a blatant dive by Drogba.  From the resultant free kick, it was the Ivorian who pulled them straight back into the game, heading home easily from a Fabregas cross with Alnwick flapping.  With Williamson unfortunately now on the pitch, the fear was that any ball into Drogba was going to end up with a chance and he made a massive impact on their team.  While I’m handing out the platitudes aswell and again, this is a considered view, aside from Shearer, I rate him as THE best player in the Premier League era – a phenomenon at his peak, the best individual performance I have ever seen against NUFC for Marseilles and a tireless campaigner to make things better in his home country – a true ‘legend’ in short.  Such a shame he’s so often such a massive bellend on the pitch.

Despite his constant hectoring of Alnwick and a couple of hairy moments, we held firm for the remaining few minutes until the board was held up.  A quick tot up in my head..five subs in the second half, a sending off with no major hold up…four minutes tops.  When the six went up, the initial howls of derision were replaced with six minutes of SJP at it’s absolute best with the noise building into a crescendo that reached a peak when the final whistle went.  You know it’s been a special afternoon when folk are greeting the final whistle as they would a goal – jumping up and down and hugging anyone in sight and it really was one of those days.

Parking Arsenal for a minute (we always get beat down there), we could be bringing the Mackems up here in a fortnight on our way to a semi-final with revenge in our nostrils.  If it’s anything like today, we’ll murder them.  For now, I’ve just got my report finished in time to sit and actually enjoy MOTD.  Happy days.

Keep the Faith

Newcastle United  – Eliott 6 (Alnwick 6), Janmaat 9, Coloccini 9, S Taylor 7, Dummett 9, Sissoko 8, Tiote 6, COLBACK 10, Cabella 6 (Cisse 8), Sammy 7, Perez 8

Ref – Atkinson 6 – On reflection, he probably got most of the calls about right but six minutes man?

Our Fans – 8 – The last 15 minutes were as good as I’ve heard at SJP for a long, long time.  Nervy, defiant and noisy. 

Their Fans – 7 – I might have mentioned this once or twice, but I fucking hate them.  That said, they had big numbers, observed the John and Liam applause well and were noisier than most we have up here.  Still total dicks mind.

Gareth Harrison

Follow Gareth on @truefaith1892

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9 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 2 Chelsea 1, St James’ Park, 6/Dec/14, KO: 12:45, Premier League, Att: 52,019

  1. Mark Solomon says:

    An absolutely great result. Fair play to Pardew, he named the best side he could (leaving Gouffran and Williamson on the bench). Our defence today was brilliant. The pairing of Colo/S. Taylor in the centre of our defence is our best by a long way and Janmaat had another great day at the office. We knew we wouldn’t have the lion’s share of possession and they fact that no-one switched off and kept Chelsea out for the bulk of the game is a great testament to the team. Great credit to Jak Alnwick as well – home debut, solid when called into play and belting Costa one was a great introduction. Taylor’s red card was the only real blight on the day and it will make the trip to Arsenhole that more difficult – hopefully Dummett will partner Colo and Haidara will play at left-back. Another Cisse brace had me jumping out of my chair as I watched the game (streaming it here in Australia) but the final 10 minutes was the most nerve racking for along time watching this team. All in all a brilliant game to watch and praise to everyone who pulled on a B&W shirt today. Can’t wait to get to work tomorrow and rub it in the face of our die-hard Chelsea supporter.

  2. Elgronerto says:

    Well said. Absolute brilliant grafted team performance against one of the strongest teams in Europe right now! Good to see the team working so hard for each other. Great day for the toon, still buzzing! Lets hope we can minimise the injury list and crack on for a some more good times. Keep the faith!

  3. Michael Luzanycia says:

    Perfectly captured the mood. Geordies around the globe were hanging on to the commentary. The roars in the cars and kitchens when Cisse got one and two. 6 fucking minutes!! And and the end, well. I live in London, but know people in Oz and NZ who I know were hanging on to ever word of the commentary. Celebrations around the globe.

  4. Dave Llewellyn says:

    Great report, COLBACK 10 fully deserved all credit the lad, not my kind of player either and wondered why we signed him from them anyway. He has been pretty good for us all season. Perez is awesome so much potential but therin lies our biggest problem, what chance have we got of him not being sold on for profit at the end of the season. 0% i reckon good luck to the lad but we gotta start doing something to keep the likes of him.

  5. Colin McCabe says:

    Thanks Gareth.
    Just finished watching it again, really does put me in great form!
    Have to say I personally thought Jaanmat was our stand out performer, great defensively yet always looking to get forward, really like him and think he’s been a great signing so far

  6. big mikey says:

    Good piece Gareth and also thanks Colin for mentioning Jaanmat who again was excellent. He is turning into one of our better signings although I still have a few reservations about him defensively. We seem to be carrying our share of good fortune,reminiscent of our 5th place season,but let’s hope that the excellent Colback and Perez remain injury free along with Sissoko. I am still trying to get my head round the last six weeks and put a finger on the ‘transformation’ . Not convinced it has anything to do with Pardew or the rest of the ‘muppets’ but let’s not knock it while it lasts. Personally I think it is a poor league and a share of luck and team spirit that has seen us through.Thought the atmosphere was shite until we scored and rocking by the final whistle but this seems to be the norm at the moment. Let’s hope the place is rocking in a fortnights time from the start against the unwashed! One last plea to Pardew. Please play our strongest team against Spurs. This is our biggest game for years. Some hope!!!

  7. John Milton says:

    Just to emphasise the ‘Perez is a little gem’ thread – TWICE I saw him covering Janmaat at Right Back, once shepharding the ball out of play and the other blocking a cross. Outstanding, untiring work on a day when it wasn’t easy up front. Love the lad.

    • gordon smith says:

      Yes you would never have seen Ben Arfa get through the same amount of work as Perez. He is indeed a little gem.

  8. Ed Bell says:

    Like you say Gareth, we have to enjoy days like this. The noise in injury time was incredible; it just proves what’s been said time and time again, we don’t have unrealistic expectations, just give us something to shout for…
    Just imagine what the noise would be like if we picked up a trophy, Capital One Cup included. So… AP, it’s over to you; White Hart Lane next Wednesday night, a packed away end, choose wisely….