MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 0 Manchester United 4, St James’ Park, 5/Apr/14, KO: 3pm, Att: 52,081

by • April 6, 2014 • Match reportsComments (8)964

Another miserable afternoon at SJP saw us dismally fail to emulate our heroics at Old DeJongTrafford earlier in the season when we weren’t quite the rudderless ship that we are at present, capitulating to the reigning Champions but distinctly average Man United. Gosling was a surprise inclusion in the centre of midfield for the injured Sissoko with the absolutely hideous De Jong again preferred in attack with HBA back on the bench.

The opening half an hour was relatively dull with neither side really taking control of the game.  We did fashion one of our very few chances when Cisse saw his header smartly turned over by Lindegaard.  They, however took the lead not long before the break from a free kick outside the area by Mata.  Gosling fouled (Ed: he didn’t) Fletcher to concede the free kick and with the crowd protesting the award of the set piece, Mata curled a free kick over the wall and beyond Elliot.  They’ve never been beaten after going ahead this season and we never, ever come back from behind so it was game over.  They nearly added a second just before the half time whistle when Hernandez was played in on goal but saw his shot come off the post with more crowd appeals after Williamson took a tumble in the build up.

They didn’t have to wait long before they wrapped the game up fully though, with a shockingly bad goal stemming from a disinterested Coloccini slipping for the second home game running, allowing a clear run for Kagawa, who played in Hernandez to square for Mata to get his second, composing himself before easily firing home.  I’m now at the point with our captain where his ‘legacy’ is now one of someone who let us down, played under sufference for over a year and I won’t mourn his inevitable exit in the summer, I’m afraid to say.

The familiar format of players just giving up to allow a thrashing then played itself out.  De Jong, who I mentioned earlier was mercifully dragged off to the only cheers of the day and I can’t adequately express my contempt for the Dutchman so I will summarise it in two words – fucking shite.  I wouldn’t have blamed Ben Arfa for doing a Tevez and telling the incompetent Carver to go and piss off but of course our ‘coach’ would have knacked him because he’s geet hard and that and he definitely knacked Bellamy in the airport.  Oh.  Yes.  Definitely.

They got a third just after the hour with another shambolic goal, when we were asleep to a quickly taken free kick which allowed Kagawa to square for Hernandez to get his goal.  At this point, I called my mate in the Gallowgate – we were off to Leeds for a stag do straight after the game and I was hoping I’d get him to fuck it off so we could just get out of there and get away early.  He wouldn’t budge though, so I sat through another 15 minutes or so and still left early and basically just wandered around for 10 minutes waiting for him.  Up until this season, I’d only ever left a match early once – I’d always seen it as being a bit taboo and an abdication of my duty as a supporter.  I think I’ve probably left before the end four times this season alone – the whole ‘experience’ is just a joyless chore, to be endured and if I allowed myself to be completely honest, going to the match is actually making me miserable.

I can’t report on their fourth goal because I wasn’t there but by all accounts it was a good one from Januzaj and another humilation was complete.

Not that my opinion makes any difference at all, but I’d like, in fact love to see Pardew sacked immediately.  I don’t care who replaces him and I’m firmly of the mind that they cannot be any worse.  It is unfathomable that the man hasn’t faced wholesale dissent from the stands but partly that has been down to a complete numbness enveloping the whole stadium.  Admitting before the game that he can’t motivate the players, is in my eyes tantamount to resigning his post as manager in any case and whilst the problem with the players lies as much in sheer lack of talent and abysmal coaching as it does from motivation, really why should the players be motivated by a bloke who is sitting in the stands for the latest in a line of idiotic decisions?

I am also absolutely convinced that barring a miracle over the summer,  we are going to be relegated next season.  Of the starting XI today, I’d only like to see Tiote, Haidara and under new direction, Cisse pulling on a Black & White top on next season but we are no more going to sign 8 or 9 new players than I am going to wake up with a million pounds under my pillow in the morning.

I just wish the season was over – my final prediction is that we are not going to win another game for the rest of the campaign and there is absolutely nothing to look forward to.

Keep the Faith

Newcastle United – Rob Elliot 4, Davide Santon 4, Mike Williamson 3, Fabricio Coloccini 2, Massaido Haidara 4, Vurnon Anita 2, Chieck Tiote 3, Dan Gosling 4, Yoan Gouffran 1 (Shola n/a), Luuk de Jong 0 (Hatem Ben Arfa 4), PAPISS CISSE 4

Ref – Friend – 6 – Not to blame

Our Fans – 3 – Dying to be put out of their misery

Their Fans – 8 – Noisy.


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8 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Newcastle United 0 Manchester United 4, St James’ Park, 5/Apr/14, KO: 3pm, Att: 52,081

  1. kennythemag says:

    Nail on the head…average Man Utd 2nd team still had too much for us. I’m definitely at the apathy stage now. I couldnt even be bothered to shout at the ref – a bad sign if ever there was one. Wonder what the odds are of Swansea & Cardiff beating us? Might put a fiver on it. Its the only ‘pleasure’ I will get in the remaining home games. Sad, frustrating times. Championship here we come.

  2. Glen says:

    One player who in my eye’s somehow manages to escape any criticism is Elliot. How many screamers does he concede? We had two good chances that produced great saves from Man U keeper. If they had gone in you would not have criticised their keeper. But the difference between a poor keeper and a decent one is the unexpected saves. We bought him from the old third division so I’m not really surprised at his standard. Another example of a player playing above his level.

  3. Charles Scott says:

    Players and manager have to take significant responsibility for that result, why ?

    Nothing to play for other than PRIDE for players and fans. Like MFA publicly states not interested in silver just a top half finish to keep NUFC in premier for advertising sports direct to world and profiteering from NUFC itself. MFA not interested in top 5 finish, he just wants to focus thread bare squad resources on premiership survival.

    The Toon have gone down hill after Cabaye sale. No replacement was found thus letting Toon players realise by now MFA has no ambition and uses players to make a profit, this of course demoralises Toon players, this explain in part the poor results we are getting. Apart from PRIDE nothing to play for, safe from relegation, may as well pack the bags for holiday.

  4. Charles Scott says:

    Meant to say wish we had Bobby as manager because if Ben Arfa has it Bobby would of got it. Messi, Maradona never scored a goal as good as Ben Arfa in the Blackburn cup match.

    Relegation next season is realistic, however MFA will use the summer and January transfer to keep NUFC in the premier. Although relegated before, MFA got too much money to lose if relegation happens again. You never know MFA might have a change of heart when he’s got 5 billion plus and decides on ambition.

  5. Richie says:

    I too left when the third went in. My emotion wasn’t anger, which surprised me, but complete dejection. I, like many others, have lost my passion and can’t even muster a rant at the players, manager or owner. I just shrugged my shoulders and wandered off to the pub for an extra pint.
    This is exactly how MA wants us to behave. Dull eyed and compliant. How did it come to this?
    43 years I’ve been dragging my carcass into SJP and I’ve never not cared about losing until now. I just didn’t care (terrible I know).
    When I met a lad I know after the game I asked him if he left early “Nah!” was his reply “I stopped ’til the final whistle, to beat the rush”.

  6. bob says:

    no further comment on our performance – it’s all been said. But what about Fellaini elbow on Gosling (even Savage thought it could have been a yellow but it obviously wasn’t as bad as Pards nuzzling Meyler) and the foot in Williamson’s head. If MOTD and others are going to comment on fouls they should comment on all (although there would be no time for highlights then). Interesting to see what the FA do as the ref gave the foul to manu.

  7. kennythemag says:

    Anyone seen that press release after Lee Charnley made managing director? Club confirmed ‘primary focus is on remaining in the premier league’ (No cup runs then), spending funds (Yeah right) in a careful considered way (No decent new signings then), The club don’t want to over promise and under deliver (Thats feckin rich), false expectations lead to disappointment & frustration (And this shite dosent then?), our intentions for the first team is to sign 1 or 2 players per year (And that will be enough to rebuild the team – if anyone wants to sign for us) and we apparently want to develope youngsters who will go onto play for the first team! UN-FECKIN’-BELIEVABLE!!!

  8. Charles Scott says:

    Left out Messiah King Kevin Keegan, if Ben Arfa got it the Messiah will get it. Of course MFA would then be rubbing his hands with glee to sell on for a profit. See Peter Beardsley singing the praises to MFA. Ok for who’s benefit ? Develop youngsters to sell on for a profit to line MFA pocket instead of reinvesting back in to the club ? Or is sadly Beardsley one of MFA puppets ? Rumours of Toon players getting a bonus for top 10 finish would not surprise either.