MATCH REPORT: Everton 3 Newcastle  United 0, Goodison Park, 15/Mar/15, ko: 4pm, Premier League. Att: 38,806.

by • March 15, 2015 • Match reportsComments (13)1382

Before I start I’ll outline this is an opinion piece and not a tactical assessment on how ourCarverEverton moronic manager was outdone by a man who many feel has been found out this season. If you want that then pick up a broadsheet.

Everton away has always been one of my favourite aways. I love the ground, city and it’s a place I’ve had some happy memories following United at.

The day started with a couple of swift beers in Manchester before making the easy trip across to Merseyside. In Liverpool I met up with a few lads who are probably the only reason I continue to go. The football is continually poor but I can never complain at the craic I have pre match.

You can tell so many are despondent with United at the moment. Pre match in the boozer I20plenty don’t think one person mentioned the match, line up or who we felt would get our first goal. In fact I had good chat about politics and how teachers that vote Tory are utter bellends. It was pleasant.

On entering Goodison I could tell that there were many of our support who were worse for wear and on more than just alcohol. Now, I’ve been given some gip this morning for calling this behaviour disgraceful but if you don’t find 15 year old kids coked off their head disgusting then I think you’ve lost the plot. My old man always used to say that when following Newcastle United you are representing your club, city and most importantly yourself. Sadly there seems a lot of support who didn’t care how much of a tit they look like.

Its probably BANTZ to them and their mates.

On to the match and it was a very poor affair between two dreadful teams. United lined up pheonixlogowith Riviere up front on his own and Gouffran in the middle of the park. How this team isn’t a drift at the bottom is beyond me ! We’ll be lucky to pick up another point. However, for the first ten minutes United were the better team with Williamson going close, in all honesty he should’ve buried it.

After that United decided to give an overweight and not fit Darren Gibson the freedom of the park. Colback and Gouffran in particular looking miles off the pace. If the latter doesn’t offer work rate then I’ve got no fucking idea why he’s playing. He needs to go in the summer.

So many of our players seemed to have packed it in. In a way can you blame them ? What is the point of Newcastle United Football Club past January ? Answers on a post card please.

Sissoko, who’s probably been our best player this season, seems to have given up. He’s 20image

been anonymous for the last few weeks. Shouldn’t he be busting his gut to force a move away from this rabble ? To be honest he’s probably already got one sorted.

Everton’s first goal was poor from United. A long ball wasn’t dealt with by Williamson or ‘Colo the coward’ and Lukaku laid on McCarthy to score with a very weak effort that Krul should’ve saved. Its so sad to see how backwards Krul’s gone. During the 5th season he was sensational, whilst now he seems to struggle with the basic fundamentals of goalkeeping. I’m positive that fat prick woodman’s got something to with it.

A quick not on our support yesterday.

  • Singing about Adam Johnson possibly sexually abusing someone isn’t funny.
  • Singing about people being on the dole isn’t funny. Its not like Newcastle a wash with jobs is it now ?

In general our support was as poor as its been all season. People singing Colo’s name after he got sent off as he didn’t fancy it anymore. Fucking idiots man.

The second half was even poorer than the first with Newcastle never looking in any dangerBoss3 of scoring. Gouffran whilst trying to dribble the ball out of our area like he was Diego Maradona led to Everton earning a penalty. Lennon nipped in and Gouffran made a needless challenge which led to the ref pointing to the spot.Does anyone give away more cheap penalties than us ? We’re fucking shambolic.

Lukaku stepped up and duly put Everton 2-0 up. At this point I was desperate to go home.

Shortly after Everton’s 2nd I saw one of the most cowardice acts I’ve ever seen from a United player.Coloccini’s tackle was his way of getting out of the next few games. He doesn’t fancy it anymore. The prick can sod off to Argentina for all I care. He’s fucking disgrace. From Captain Marvel to Captain Coward in 3 years. Its proper gutting.

Jonas came on to a good reception again and actively looked like he gave a toss. I’d have the bloke starting in the middle for the rest of the season. At least he cares.

Everton’s 3rd led a mass exodus of pissed off punters from the away end. Barkley breezed special_widget_picthrough the middle of the park and easily put the ball past a hapless Krul.

Twenty certainly was plenty for this Newcastle United display. If we lose in Albania in 3 weeks time then I’d be shocked to see more than 500 United fans next time we’re in Liverpool.

Keep the faith if you can be arsed to.

 Their support: still obsessed with Liverpool it seems. 5

Our support. nearly as poor as the team. 3 
Jack McLane


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13 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Everton 3 Newcastle  United 0, Goodison Park, 15/Mar/15, ko: 4pm, Premier League. Att: 38,806.

  1. Keiron says:

    Coloccini let himself and the club down with that tackle yesterday Jack, but I think he’s never had anyone alongside him who was half the player he is, which is not to say others haven’t tried. I think it’s fair to say he’s not quite at the level of previous seasons but he’s still an excellent player despite yesterday and his frustration is in some ways understandable if not excusable. We all know a good centre back has been urgently required. I think there’s a case for taking the captaincy from him next season but let’s not write him off just yet nor forget what a brilliant player he’s been for NUFC.

  2. Absoluting disgusting article … Sadly every word true … I run the ” Toononthecosta ” website and the official toon supporters club in Spain. I am finding it increasingly difficult to write anything positive or supportive of the Toon in my blogs. I may be defined as a passionate toon supporter but my fervour is being sorely tempered . I admit to have been instrumental in wanting Pardew away , no regrets there , But I misguidedly thought we might get a manager. Carver is a buffoon. And us supporters are not much better for the support we continue to give. Heaven help us.

  3. Daniel Gordon says:

    I’ve heard some Adam Johnson songs that I personally think are very funny. Think you need to get off your high horse and stop telling people what they should and shouldn’t find amusing.

  4. ian conner says:

    Got to say I agree with the comments about our support I normally go to 2 or 3 aways a season but if that’s typical of our support I won’t be going to many more the amount of kids who could hardly stand was beyond belief and as for the Adam Johnston song it might have been funny at first but by the time you’d heard it all afternoon it was just boring

    • Tom says:

      Completely agree. It was the same at the Hull game too, young lads totally off their heads on drugs, and for the majority of the game not watching the match.

      And for the ‘don’t take me home…’ chant, what a load of crap. I’m nearly getting as annoyed with our following as I am with the shite football we have to endure!

  5. Peter says:

    I agree the writer is entitled to his New Labour opinions, but they are pretty lame. Teachers voting Tory are ‘bellends’… if this is the 1970’s and Labour actually represents anything different from the Tories. Both parties are now just career politicans, divorced from anything real, tinkering with the books to look for vote-winning policies. Middle-class wanker Milliband must love you for talking up his working-class credentials! As for chanting about being unemployed….isn’t that par for the course at matches, mutual slagging? Or does it somehow divide a working-class movement that hasn’t existed since Labour sold out the miners in 1984?

    • I agree Peter ” everyone entitled to their opinions ” and the same goes for Michael Martin. I personally agree with him . I cant speak for him but I think your description of him as ” new labour ” would disappoint him . And wether we approve or not Politics ( power and money ) is rife in every sport and no more than in football . Its not ” our ” game anymore. The ” suits ” are in charge.

  6. Jack McLane says:

    As mentioned its an opinion piece. I’m by no means a Red Ed fan but he’s a better alternative to the current rabble. On the support side I’d rather we just sang about NUFC. Sadly something that doesn’t happen often nowadays.

  7. Tom says:

    Bloody Jack and his old fashioned politic beliefs.

    Great article once again mate. I use to firmly believe we had the best following in England, however since promotion a few years back, it’s massively gone down hill. It’s cringeworthy now.

  8. Jack Mclane. says:

    Cheers mate. I agree our away support used to be superb, sadly I feel we now have a generation watching us who have no idea how great United could be. In all fairness to the younger generation all they’ve been served up in their time supporting NUFC is utter dross

  9. clarky says:

    Everyone complains yet everyone still goes!!! Its ironic the fans are killing the club by still turning up if everyone stopped goin something will happen it would be the first time in history of premier league if all the fans were to boycott the games for rest of season. I find myself wanting us to get beat until that cancer leaves the club nothing will change!

    • Marc Corby says:

      Slowly but surely people are walking…this is the first where I see it gathering pace.

      It all depends how (and probably when) Ashley fills the empty seats. So far he is managing it and, for me, announcing incorrect gates as there has to be more empty seats than the attendances suggest!

      The opposite to the 80’s then!

      if JC is, as expected, appointed manager in the summer then thats it for me. The following January’s automatic renewal is stopped.

  10. Jack Mclane says:

    I’ll be sacking off a load if Carver gets the job. Only the LP that are making me keep my ST