MATCH REPORT: Crystal Palace 1 Newcastle United 1, Selhurst Park, 11/Feb/15, KO: 8pm, Premier League, Att: 25,118

by • February 11, 2015 • Match reportsComments (11)1177

 You will doubtless read and hear reports of the battling spirit of our team but this was aPalace1 rank piss poor match between two very average sides, with the away team a darker shade of rank than the home one. A withering judgement on the team Pardew left. 5 loosely described “chances” all match for NUFC and one on target. Utter horsecrap. Palace finished much the stronger side and will probably feel they lost a genuine opportunity of another win under Pardew.

As for Peartree Productions himself, he’s an NUFC statistic now, and a grey one at that. I honestly couldn’t give a fuck what he does with his career now he’s doubled his wages despite what I just said. In fact, all the Pardew chants just fuel the brain dead noise and free paper pulp of Merson and Barclay. He’s simply not worth your aggravation.

At least Perez was going to get the support of Cisse (on paper anyway) though Ayoze played fairly deep tonight. Ideally it’s him and Cabella supporting a front man for me but Cabella started out from wide which makes him easier to read and mark. Perez confirmed what we already knew before tonight. The lad is shattered.

Dummett or Taylor must’ve seriously upset someone to have had Williamson starting again and his header out for a corner off the back of his head and of which he knew absolutely nothing about was an all too familiar sign early on. Less said about his comical left foot shot in front of goal in the second half that nearly went for a throw the better.

The first half was absolutely terrible bar the opening goal. Despite a bright opening by adidaspreorderboth sides, the dearth of chances and possession being squandered was marked. The only chances of note were from a cracking pass from Cisse’s outside left foot into the path of Cabella whose shot was easily blocked. Oh and Crystal Palace had a goal disallowed.

When it came to Cisse’s goal just before half time it was a complete shock and left the away end to ask just how this was possible. It was a well taken header from excellent work and cross from Janmaat.

Palace however cranked up the gears in the second half and although the game still was way short on quality, it was made up for with the energy of the irritating bell end Zaha and Puncheon providing good crosses from the right.

Daft fannying about in defence from Cabella led to a free kick on the left but Ledley missed an open goal with a free header to equalise. Puncheon, who was arguably the best performer for either side on the night whipped an excellent cross for Zaha to head back across goal but no one at the far post to knock in what would have been an easy leveller. The equaliser did come after 71 mins when a cross came in from the substitute Yannick Bolasie after Coloccini’s clearing header was intercepted off Gouffran. Williamson completely failed to pick up Frazier Campbell who easily got ahead to poke the cross past Krul. Another really dopey goal to concede and again from lost possession.

Zaha picked up another Puncheon delivery but after finding himself on Krul, checked back Valentines (1)inside when shooting with the second touch would have meant a clear one on one with Krul.

Cisse had a shot from 20 yards which blazed over the bar but back came Palace with Hangeland coming close with two headers from corners, the second producing an outstanding save from Krul at the near post.

The substitutions made by Carver were Pardewesque. Cisse off for Abeid when we were still in the game? Putting Dummett in midfield for Cabella? Do we not want to win?

On the face of it not a bad result but frankly who gives a shit. Another season to exist in the Premiership while Ashley rakes in the increasingly lucrative TV money. Part of me actually hopes we drop like a stone to the Conference so he’s denied the mullah. Start again ground sharing with Heaton Stan or Gateshead when we hit rock bottom? So be it. This isn’t what supporting NUFC is supposed to be about. I was even denied the chance of a pre-match pint in case visiting animals enacted the last days of Rome on the streets of Norwood Junction. Grim, boring, futile joylessness.

Newcastle United: Krul 6; Hiadara 5, Coloccini 5, Williamson 3, Janmaat 6; Cabella 5, Colback 4, Sissoko 5, Gouffran 5 (Dummett n/a); CISSE 6 (Abeid n/a), Perez 4 (Riviere n/a). 

Subs not used: Woodman, Taylor, Anita, Obertan 

Ours: 5 Supportive considering but the monotonous Pardew chants got on my nerves. Booing Palace fans for not joining in the 17 minutes applause (it was only a minority but an audible one) is pathetic. How the fuck do they know what it’s about and 7 months after the tragedy as well. Honestly, have a look at yourselves! 

Theirs: 8 Excellent atmosphere. The best home fans I’ve heard in a long while. Out sung us easily. Get marked down to an 8 because some prick threw a coin at Coloccini. Whoever he or she was they were probably related to the gold chain wearing divvy who got Cantona’s boot in his mouth almost exactly 20 years ago to the day. 

Marriner: 3 This bloke is just incompetent. One of the worst referees out there. 


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11 Responses to MATCH REPORT: Crystal Palace 1 Newcastle United 1, Selhurst Park, 11/Feb/15, KO: 8pm, Premier League, Att: 25,118

  1. Gareth Harrison says:

    Spot on mate. Only goes to highlight the fact that the whole experience is only (barely) tolerable these days with a belly full of ale aswell

  2. Mac says:

    “It’s another game unbeaten. That’s one win, three draws and two defeats now, which is not bad in this league.” Post match comments from Carver…I suppose aiming for 38 points as opposed to 40+ gives the potential for a bit of relegation excitement to wake us from the apathy!

  3. Chris says:

    your spot on about the minutes applause, how pathetic is it that people boo? Other fans have no reason to applaud and booing is a lot more disrespectful than staying silent, few fans round me do it at sjp does my head in

  4. Peter says:

    I think it’s time to knock the 17 mins applause on the head. It now seems to me like a ruse the powers that be at NUFC use to keep themselves ‘onside’ – putting the RIP message up on the board, knowing we will all applaud like seals, and make us think they are not QUITE such cynical bastards as they actually are.

  5. mikey says:

    Losing the will to live until the fat one goes me now.

    fanbase is dead, even when noisy. Its his ethos and bitterness seeping into our bones.

    Never known it so bad.

    but not prepared to sit on my arse and take it. Will join in any and all actions against him net season to get him out.

    By any means necessary.

  6. tulip in Perth australia says:

    I still can’t believe Carthage Williamson continues t get a game for the toon. If he is the best we’ve got God help us. He is not good enough, no wonder we have the 4th worst defence in the premier League.

  7. Alex says:

    “ @nufcfans · Feb 11
    Mike Williamson was ‘absolutely brilliant’ tonight according to Mick Lowes and John Anderson on @bbcnewcastle” that just about sums it up for me with regards to the local radio station, quite what/who they have been watching for the past 2 years that has been different to the rest of us is up for debate

  8. Peter Shearer says:

    I am just sat waiting now until sufficient numbers are angry enough to get together and do something about it. Nothing else to say-just hope it is sooner rather than later that others join the fight.

  9. Paul Clayton says:

    Either put up or shut up. Stop giving your money to these arseholes or accept the arse fucking on a weekly basis, Thats the top and bottom of the situation