View of West Ham match from Newcastle away end

MATCH REPORT: West Ham 2 Newcastle United 0, the Boleyn Ground, 14/Sep/15, KO: 8pm, Premier League. Att: 34,907

by • September 14, 2015 • Match reportsComments (26)5135

Our final visit to E13, on League duty at least, was a bit of a wakeup call and a reminder of the limitations of the squad and of the manager. The approach to the match from a United side was too defensive and conservative which an early goal left the side with an uphill task, considering the selection.

The recent ale house of choice for West Ham is the Blind Beggar in Whitechapel. This time, it was swerved for the White Hart across the road. An old fashioned East End boozer converted into a contemporary ”brew pub” taking the Craft Ale concept to its outer limits. The Black Tea Lager was just plain strange and it really did have a taste of a bitter old manky brew. Won’t be doing that again. Can’t think of a better example of how the East End has changed so that areas like Whitechapel, Bethnal Green and others now mimic more familiar hipster enclaves. 

Upton Park is one of English Football’s grand old traditional grounds but I for one am getting sick of the deliberate delays WestHam9.15on the tube going to the match. Same as last year, there were hold ups at least 5 minutes per tube stop including an eternity at Mile End. We left Whitechapel at 7:20pm so that plenty of time for a 20 min journey to make the match you would think. We ended up in the ground 15 mins after kick off because of a “customer incident” at Upton Park station. Unless I know different, that’s just an exercise in putting  football supporters in our place because you can get away with it, never mind needlessly pissing off ordinary members of the public getting home after a hard day. If it’s because Upton Park station can’t handle the volume of people then it’s about time WHU went to Stratford frankly.

So the first quarter of an hour is unreported which considering the start we made is just as well. From the time I got into the ground the lack of cutting edge to our play was apparent and we seemed incapable of stringing 2 passes together. The midfield 5 had a lamentable game and it’s obvious a midfield centre of Colback and Anita is just too poor. Wijnaldum (or Wijjy as I’ll never get his name right) was a real disappointment. This is my first match after a 3 week Holiday and Wedding so this was my first opportunity to see the new NUFC and our man from Holland was not the driving force I was expecting. More from him and Thauvin, who was invisible, is essential this season.

West Ham looked by far the sharper team, especially on the break with Moses firing wide from a break following an NUFC corner. A warning for United that wasn’t heeded. Apart from Janmaat having a great chance to level mid-way through the half  when he was one on one with Rudolph, that really was it for us.

That earlier warning that was issued by Moses was ignored 4 minutes into the second half what Thauvin sloppily lost possession from his free kick deep inside West Hams half and a swift counter attack found Moses slice through the defence to fire a shot off the bar only for Payet to hit the rebound in to claim his double and leave us 0-2 down.

It was quite apparent that the side was ill-equipped to draw back a 2 goal deficit. I think McLaren betrayed his more defensive and conservative inclinations in the team selection. Certainly one if not both De Jong and Perez should have started. Cisse was too isolated but also has the look of a man who knows his United career is coming to a close. Abject and disinterested are two adjectives you could use. We desperately need his goalscoring instincts this season and he needs better support around him.

De Jong and Perez’s double substitution in the 60th minute, and that of Aarons coming on later, undoubtedly improved the sides attacking capabilities. If this didn’t result in clear cut chances, never mind goals, we at least caused the WHU defence some concern. The best two opportunities were a deflected shot on the edge of the box from De Jong that was tipped over and a Janmaat shot (probably our best attacking threat and a better  winger than Sissoko) that should have hit the target.

West Ham deserved their win by some distance but for our United, promise now needs to generate points. The phoney war of the season has now finished and we simply have to get 3 points from Watford H before Chelsea (we can’t seriously beat them for a 4th season at home??) and Man City. No one should be thinking in terms of a crisis but McLaren has to look at his more attacking options in his squad before this lack of points becomes a genuine concern.

Newcastle United: Krul 6; JANMAAT 6, Coloccini 6, Mbemba 6, Hiadara 5; Anita 4 (De Jong 6), Colback 4, Sissoko 3, Wijnaldum 4 (Aarons 6), Thauvin 3 (Perez 6);  Cisse 3

Subs not used: Gouffran, Obertan, Lascalles, Darlow

Mags: 5. Short on voice or encouragement. This was a flat Monday evening in most respects. “Stick Peggy Mitchell up your arse” raised a smile or two and hasn’t quite left my head since.

Theirs: 7. In good voice. Usual lusty chorus of Bubbles and posturing from the Chicken run.

GUY HANNAY-WILSON – Follow Guy on @tfGHW1892 


I take back the comment regarding the stoppage. This was due to a man suffering a heart attack on the station platform. Apologies for typing first without knowing the facts – Guy. 



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26 Responses to MATCH REPORT: West Ham 2 Newcastle United 0, the Boleyn Ground, 14/Sep/15, KO: 8pm, Premier League. Att: 34,907

  1. mike says:

    gutless clueless leaderless. Total shte. Now tell me what has changed?

  2. Andy bee says:

    Dear steve, please play Ayoze Perez really rather a simple concept??!!

  3. Micky miller says:

    Thought playing with eleven men would be enough to see off West Ham, sadly starting with Cisse and Colback we might as well have nine fuckers and are immediately on the back foot. Cisse is the most clueless, brainless fuckin gash excuse of a footballer I’ve seen for a long long time, his first touch and reading of the line is embarrassing and to watch the useless cunt smiling and gurning after every fuck up is exasperating. Colback has no place in the modern game, ponderous negative dross..There is ability in wide areas but the spine of this rabble is weak as fuck..Lets hope the mad Serb calms down and offers something different because it all reeks of different season same old shit..

    • Iain says:

      In Cisse’s defence I suspect that he doesn’t want to be at a club that clearly doesn’t want (but needs) him and this is reflected in his performances this season. His goals kept us up last season so I don’t think he’s that “gash”.

      • Bob says:

        Cisse is just not suited to the lone striker role but has now been played their by three managers/head coaches/idiots. The sooner McClaren realises that the better. He played very well in a front three but Pardew stopped using it. He still doesn’t know his best line up or system. There was an interesting comment on radio 5 about managers preferring systems, irrespective of the players, over choosing a system for the players they have. Mitrovic may be the answer to the lone striker role but we still haven’t replaced Cabaye and why Carr didn’t recommend Payet over Thauvin only he knows.

      • Micky miller says:

        Not wanted?
        You’re bang on there..

  4. Word from last season that is still relevant – LEADERSHIP. Time to drop Sissoko I think. Fails to turn up far too often.

    • Stephen B says:

      AGREE COMPLETELY, time to drop Sissoko until his attitude improves, plus Anita & Colback is not the way forward either!

  5. Andrew says:

    Our right back was more of an attacking threat than our number 9. Having said that Janmaat played an awful ball for Mbemba leading to the first goal, where a simple kick out to touch was all that was needed. Sadly the easy decisions like that were wrong all over all night, gifting possession and failing to stop West Ham from advancing on our goal. Haidara is doing his best effort to show he’s not a defender and the lack of any judgment allowed them the second. Any positives? You’d think there’s positively no way Colback or Cisse can start on Saturday.

  6. Wallace Wilson says:

    The moment that sticks in my mind was when Colocinni passed to West Ham player near our corner flag in the second half and just jogged back to the penalty area like he didn’t care what happened as a result of his mistake. He’s the captain for God’s sake! Complete lack of leadership across the park but particularly down the spine of the team

  7. Peter says:

    What has really changed from last season? What will ever really change as long as Mike Ashley is the owner?

  8. allan says:

    Well here we go again start the season shite and end up chasing every game. The only problem that can be laid at fcb door is the appointment of a out of touch manager. That team last night was shocking in every department clueless bunch of players that had no idea of commitment or a plan that they could operate. Alan Shearer is the man for Newcastle hot seat please give the man a chance . FCB said he wanted to win something was he refering to a cup. A game would be a good start.

  9. Ian Orrick says:

    Only NUFC could spend 50 million on new players yet still look as piss poor as we did last season. Playing two holding central midfielders means we’ve only got four players on the pitch with any attacking intent & when those four ‘attacking’ players are as twatful as ours were last night you just can’t hurt the opposition.
    Our policy of not buying English players with premiership experience is definitely floored. Thauvin & Mitrovich are expensive gambles which don’t look like they’re going to come off. I know fuck all about the French &Dutch leagues but Carr supposedly does. If that’s true why the fuck didn’t we try to buy Payet who looks to be twice the player Thauvin looks? I’m sure I’m not the only one who knew nothing about Mitrovich before we signed him but his disciplinary record before we signed him should surely have made us think twice (supposedly 46 yellows and 6 red cards before the age of twenty). His sending off against Arsenal may have been harsh but why stand on the Arsenal player in the first place – he just gave a card happy ref a reason to get his red card out. Why the fuck didn’t we just pay the extra 2 or 3 million quid & buy Austin who scored goals in the Prem last season in a crap team?
    Another thing that hasn’t changed from last season is our woeful passing. We just seem to lose possession far too easily & it makes it so hard to build attacks when we can’t retain the ball.
    To be honest, before last night I’d been reasonably positive about our prospects but watching them last night was just like watching any of our away games last season & the fact that we’ve only had a couple of shots on target in the last three games suggests it’s going to be a long, hard slog of a season and we’re likely going to be involved in the relegation mix again.

  10. Tom says:

    Well that utter s**t. We never looked like getting anything right from the off. Don’t mention the traffic, Steve. That’s all part of the preparation. You should’ve left earlier.

    Colocinni was at his disinterested best. Anita and Colback were invisible. What the hell was Cisse up to? I feel for the lad in some respects. Our defenders didn’t give him much chance with the aimless hoofball, but somethings you can’t overlook: trapping a pass… that’s basics.

    Do we practice crossing?! How do we manage to concede time and time again from our own set pieces?!

    What Marseille games did Graham Carr attend to arrive at the decision that Thauvin is a better player than Payet? It looks like Lord Carr has lumbered us with a squad of players that are completely unsuited to the demands of Premier League football.

    The club is forced to operate on a tight budget, we want to be the best “pound-for-pound”, so why are we letting Carr piss away our meager resources every year?

    Perez looked canny. What must he be thinking, playing second fiddle to the likes of Cisse? I’d get my agent on the phone.

  11. Chris Nappin says:

    I understand McClaren wanting to make us solid defensively but he needs to abandon this Anita-Colback combination ASAP. Neither offer any creativity and the midfield looks completely disjointed, nobody in the front four looks clear of what role they’re supposed to be doing. This trendy 4-2-3-1 carry on clearly isn’t working with two defensive players sitting deep. Surely you only need one? We need to accommodate more attack-minded players as it’s a waste of a man playing Anita-Colback. Can’t see him changing it though to be honest, either the system or the two in the middle. You could even bring Wijnaldum back deeper just not limit him to an exclusively defensive role, at least we’d get him on the ball more and link the play up with the front four.

    Why the fuck didn’t we sell Sissoko? I’d probably rank him as the 43rd best midfielder in the league. If McClaren ever drops him I’ll be amazed though. I reckon Perez could chin him easily, he’s the weakest, most girl-like big man in the game. Perez has to start on Saturday, it’s so obvious. There was zero movement off the ball last night and everyone always just seems to wait until the ball is played before they move, instead of making a run first and giving the player with the ball an option. I realise I don’t watch them train or anything but it just feels so frustrating as a fan when the team selection seems so patently wrong. There are a few valid options he could try, I just hope he doesn’t persist with the same thing on Saturday but there is often a reluctance by managers to react to the need for change (ala Gouffran starting virtually every time when he was complete garbage all last year).

    Even if he tries something different and fails then at least I’d give him credit for showing positive intent, given the length of time he’s had with the team and new players etc. As alluded to earlier, Cisse has only ever played well as part of a front three, he’s bound to start him and we have the players who could fit around that line up now so why not try it? We’re much better than Watford, and if we lose to them then it’s going to look pretty bleak heading into the Chelsea/Man City games.

    • Stephen says:

      Why didn’t we sell Siissoko ?

      Because he is the most hyped up and over rated player i have ever seen at the club. Vanishes after the first 5 to 8 minutes in every game, a coward and his control is as bad as the slaughtered (on here) Cisse’s. Sign for Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool ? fucking no chance.

      Why half of our crowd lap up is beyond me.

  12. Peter Shearer says:

    How long before we finally accept nothing will change until Ashley has gone.The club is not geared to success,with the policies that it follows. The fans just keep extending their own pain.The players are not going to have the kind of team spirit that is needed for success,because all they are looking for is a move to a bigger club.Ashley spent the money that was in the bank and the supporters have been duped again.I know people want to believe,but the club does not need tinkering with -it needs a major overhaul.

    Just have to wait for the anger to grow again, it is already starting to.Whatever else Ashley can do in the business world, he is incapable of understanding Newcastle United.

  13. Ben says:

    The ‘customer incident’ was a man having a heart attack on the eastward platform at Upton Park, not a great conspiracy to annoy Newcastle fans.

    Otherwise, agree with the rest of the article. Terrible performance.

  14. MooMoo says:

    Cisse was a waste of space and the CMF pair weren’t much better. I’d like to see Perez and de Jong up top with Aarons and Thauvin either side, then give “Wijjy” and Sissoko a bash in the middle together.

  15. GUY HW says:

    Apologies Ben. I stand very much corrected. I thought it was another cack-handed way to control supporters as this was the second year in a row this had happened.

    My sympathies and best wishes are with the person involved and the family.

  16. tom Bates says:

    Agree with Ian about our buying policy. I got shot down for suggesting we try and develop an English core in the team one comment in reply was there are no good English players in the league? Well Everton alone have Baines Barkley Jagielka Stones Barry Cleverley to name a few so that argument doesn’t stack up. I also got shot down for saying we should go for players with pl experience instead of gambling on the French league again. We make the same mistakes every season a policy that hasn’t helped us in the derbies either. The same people who are happy for us to have a revolving door of players from the French and Dutch league then complain we have no long term coherent strategy and a poor team spirit. We should have a team of English or experienced pl player’s complimented by quality not bargain basement overseas players. Everton are a good example of this. Cue a load of posts saying the French signings have been a success.

    • Tom says:

      Completely agree on this point. Why gamble with foreign signings when PL proven players were available in the summer? When will Graham Carr be held accountable to shoddy purchases? He made a couple of expensive clangers last summer (Riviere/Cabella) and yet nothing was mentioned.

      This summer signings need time and games before we can pass too much judgement, but yet again we are throwing the dice and shutting our eyes whilst praying (when signing players). Not signing Austin in the summer was scandalous, typically the mantra of ‘no sell on value’ meant we faffed about and missed our chance. I don’t think we are guaranteed to get him in January, other clubs will be in the shite and will happily take a punt on him/make him feel more wanted than a Lonsdale tracksuit having an additional 50% reduction taken off…

      One thing about Everton (who i think are a brilliantly run football club & I was disgusted to see their fans calling for Kenwright’s head – football has gone mad!).
      A couple of years ago they came up to St James’ and played us off the park with the 4-2-3-1 system. The difference to us being that everyone knew what their position was and they were bought/developed for that role, whereas we appear to have a scatter-gun approach to signing players and then it’s a case of square pegs/round holes.

      Another idea regarding formations. I read a great point in Dennis Bergkamp’s autobiography (well worth a read) was that Cruyff at Ajax (& then on to Barca) made sure that every youth/academy team followed the same formation as the first team, so that players were well tuned/developed for playing in that system if their opportunity came up. Do you imagine it happening here?? Ha ha

  17. Chris Steel says:

    Absolutely WOEFUL performance but why are people surprised, we’ve had 8 years of this cack.

    Clubs going down like a burst balloon


  18. Dave says:

    For all of his faults (and there were far too many to mention on here) for some reason Pardew managed to string winning runs together & get some crucial points on the board to lift the gloom & hide the fact we’re shite. Hand on my heart I’m not sure if Schteve is capable of that as he seems very defensive in his lineups & very set in his ways. Every man & his dog could see that formation wasn’t working on Monday except him & like has already been said persisting with both Colback & Anita baffles me when both are so negative it’s embarrassing. I just don’t know where the goals are coming from personally with the current squad & I think not going for a proven goal scorer such as Austin will come back to bite us on the arse. Even when we do manage to break up the pitch the play is so slow & laboured that by the time we eventually get the ball forward the opposition already have players back in defence. Judge him after 10 or 12 games he said, well if results so far are anything to go by, your honeymoon period is well & truly over Stevie boy.

    • rich says:

      Makes you wonder Dave, if managers persist with a system because it is an admission of failure when they have to change it.