Home has not been where the heart is this season; it’s actually where there has been plenty heart-break. ‘And let’s face facts, long periods of this season’s home games have been utter gash; albeit partly out of design, partly out of necessity, and, partly because that is where we are currently at with this utter bastard of an absentee landlord owner.

The last home game wasn’t gash though.’ It was ace.’ It was frustrating, nervously nail-biting, guttural, engaging, ‘dying for a piss, but daren’t go’, ‘screaming mental at final whistle’ fan-bloody-tastic.’ Everyone loves a win against the odds, and against Manchester United, and the sour-faced, ‘Not-So-Special-Anymore’ One made it all the sweeter.’ Just an enthralling game.’ I loved it when we beat them.

But now, after our routine Anfield defeat, and some crazy results (Palace dusting Man U 2-0, as I type this, err no it’s 2-2 now; oh it’s 2-3 thank god ‘ that is really useful) we are back in the crap again.’ Well, just above the crap line, but our pants will certainly need a thorough wash if we don’t win another game soon.

I’m hoping this season will end like the denouement of The Shawshank Redemption, so we can lift arms aloft and scream thanks at the heavens, after a season of mainly crawling through the shit in the sewer which makes up a lot of the Premier League, and then, like Andy Dufresne, go to the bank and get the wads of TV cash; hopefully free of the shackles of the prison guard Ashley.’ But we need to win a home game, or three, to make sure of that.

So innocuous little Southampton roll into town who have stuck by their nerdily polite and seemingly far-too-nice Argentinean manager.’ They are a point behind us and have slipped into the bottom three (oops, no they are out now thanks to Man U) and if they can’t get themselves up for this game, then they can’t get up for anything and should go down.

My good friend Special K (who has just made out like a bandit on that Palace 2-0 becoming 2-3 Man U, and thus has a shit-eating grin bigger than Zippy out of Rainbow) will forgive me for mentioning that he used to be so scared of facing the mighty Southampton when they had the imperious, but rather immobile, Matthew Le Tissier in their ranks, that he would inadvertently fall down to one side, like NUFC centre backs used to do in the 80-oddth minute of most games at The Dell.’ Quick quiz: name the only keeper to save a Le Tiss competitive penalty (no prizes, sorry).

Nowadays, despite SFC better standing for the Scousers Feeder Club, the Saints still have boatloads of talented players; well, more than us.’ I’ve always rated the not very tall Shane Long, but he’s become a bit crap over recent months (maybe years?) and seems to now be a has-been.’ Boufal, Tadic & Romeu all interest me as players to potentially nab if the Saints go down, and we stay up, as does Redmond; but I think the latter would end up at a club higher up the league; such has our stock fallen.

However, apart from my ST at SJP, and the odd away, I’m a Match of the Day watcher, and no more, so I’ll leave the proper ‘big boys’ analysis of the Saints team and squad to the excellent Wallace Wilson in Saturday’s emailed ‘The Special’.’ I cannot believe anyone who reads this old toffee does not also get ‘The Special’, if only for WW ‘ as he does a match preview right, and he does it good, as he focuses on the football; like we used to do when we actually talked about the games, and the players and the tactics; before Sky turned us into fucking morons who just whinge about money & finances, all compounded by the dross served up under Pardew and Carver and McClaren ‘ who thought tactics were small, pill-shaped sweets and not an essential part of the game.

And because I like a horror story, I will leave you with one name before you go to bed and cry like a baby in the middle of the night at the thought of it:

Gabbiadini (shudders involuntarily)

I hated that name as a teenager: as it belonged to the tubby, little, pudding-faced, bandy-legged freak who scored the second that fateful play-off semi-night in 1990, with his poison-dwarf mate Gates getting the first.’ Semi-finals, as an English-born Newcastle fan, were the bane of that year; setting me firmly on a course of total football disappointment for the next three decades.

I had my voucher all primed for a trip to Wembley to see us beat Swindon and take our place in the top flight; to be denied by the ‘G-Force’ who had finished a lowly sixth to our third.

So don’t bet against Marco’s namesake Manolo scoring on Saturday (who also plays for team beginning with an ‘S’, with three syllables and in red & white stripes) ‘ as the football gods love that sort of thing.

It’ll be nervous and tense and watched through fingers at times: try and enjoy it.

Castle Farm Mag

You will see below that we have a new issue of’true faith‘out. It is TF137.’true faith‘is’Newcastle United’s‘longest running and most widely read fanzine. Since 1999 we have provided the alternative view on life at’Newcastle Unitedand the world around it. Despite being fiercely patriotic Geordies, the fanzine is also internationalist in its outlook and that’s why we are always looking into the world of football beyond these shores. In this issue issue you will find articles related to football in Saudi Arabia, South America, Italy and Mags from India coming to SJP.

We obviously cover every inch of’Newcastle United‘in the modern era and in the past. We love our history and retro pieces and hope you agree they provide important interpretations of the history of our club.’true faith‘provides a platform for supporters to articulate their opinions on the club in an intelligent and entertaining manner for a very discerning readership.

true faith‘is FREE of charge. This issue has 80+ pages of excellent fanzine writing. You can download it all onto any device you like and read it offline any time you choose. Those who read’true faith‘in its long years as a hard-copy fanzine will recognise the lay-out and style. We now publish in digital format but the writing, the tone, the lay-out and artwork is exactly the same as it always was. We are a traditional fanzine for a modern supporter.

true faith‘is one of the most respected and widely known fanzine titles in the UK. It was certainly one of the most widely read, bar none.

All you need to do to get access to the fanzine is click on the image below and its all yours.

From all of the editorial team, we all hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed pulling it together.

(PS, to save your fingers and also Google HQ thinking you have an odd fixation with Forest keepers of the ’90s ‘ it was Mark Crossley and for the tie-break Wiki tells me it was on 24^th March 1993)