Get in!! The final game of the season is here. We finish off at Anfield, where, I think, we have now avoided the uncomfortable sight of unwittingly, witnessing the Premier League trophy being lifted by Liverpool Football Club. (It is absolutely, mandatory, on pain of death, that you must add “Football Club” – and it helps if you can make it sound as if you have half a mouthful of spit in your gob when pronouncing it – whenever referring to Liverpool Football Club. Scousers and anyone even loosely associated with Liverpool Football Club, take, great personal, offence, if you do not address Liverpool Football Club by their full title. It matters not, that you happen to be tuned in to an actual football programme at the time. No, no, for the clarification of any doubt and confusion with that other well known, sporting institution, The Liverpool & District Semi Professional Freestyle Kayaking Club, we are up against Liverpool Football Club on Sunday afternoon.
And we’ll get fucking whopped
Liverpool Football Club, still have a mathematical chance of winning the league, however, personally, I think they’ve fucked it up, as if they’ve been reading from the Newcastle United (Football Club – if you don’t mind) book of how to fuck things up, extraordinarily, as something looks ‘in the bag.’ What we now await, is for the drooling to stop and Hansen, Lawrensen and Thompson to spend the next 15 years castigating Liverpool Football Club’s defence (regardless of whether it’s any good or not) and blaming it (and only it) for the daft cunt’s throwing away the championship.
Henderson returns from suspension, not that you’ll give 2 flying fucks. Suarez and Sturridge have scored 5,986 goals each this season and you are fucking fortunate to be allowed within the same arena as these 2 on Sunday. Drooling at their appearance is the minimum expected of you when they emerge from the tunnel, a full on, wank is probably encouraged by anyone with a Sky/BBC/Talksport/Radio 5 tie on.
Pardew will assemble an assortment of players, which may or may not add up to XI. It will be short on quality, but will be wearing a brand new away strip, which does resemble our coolest ever away kit of 1983-85.
Don’t expect to see Ben Arfa or Sylvain Marveaux, neither of whom are gifted enough to fit into Pardew’s intricate tactical jigsaw. Do expect to see the ball (when we briefly have it) to e thundered in the general direction of whoever is playing up front.
Ryan Taylor – Knee – Next Season
Santon – Hamstring
Cisse – Knee
Sammy Ameobi – Foot
Sent To Coventry
Possible Team (4-3-1-2)
1.Tim Krul: 2. Mattieu Debuchy, 5. Mike Williamson, 6. Fabricio Coloccini, 3. Paul Dummett: 8. Vurnon Anita, 4. Cheick Tiote, 7.Moussa Sissoko: 11. Yoan Gouffran: 11. Luuk De Jong 9. Loic Remy
Rob Elliot, Steven Taylor, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Adam Armstrong, Shola Ameobi, Massaido Haidara, Dan Gosling
Referee: Phil Dowd
League History at Anfield
1984 FA CUP 3RD ROUND
Purely to show people how United used to look on our travels, here’s a clip of our support at Liverpool Football Club for an FA cup 3rd Round tie. No shoes off, no “Our garden shed,” no “we’ll do what we want” or any of that gash…..(Ed: and we left the “Sign On” shite to the twats from Stamford Bridge and White Hart Lane)
1984/85: Lost 1-3, We had been involved in a relegation scrap despite an excellent start to the campaign, in the end we’d finish 7 places above the relegation zone, but with only 3 more points than relegated Norwich City. We went to Anfield, still in the mix and defeat left us with work still to do. John Walk, Gary Gillespie and Paul Walsh put the Scousers in an unassailable position before Neil McDonald pulled one bag. Liverpool Football Club would ultimately finish 2nd behind Everton.
Our goal Part 6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5ozJn4T6as
1985/86: Drew 1-1, No such relegation issues this season and United travelled to Merseyside as part of the Christmas programme. Steve Nichol was on target for the hosts who would eclipse the previous year’s 2nd place to win the league. Peter Beardsley levelled for us.
1986/87: Lost 0-2, Regulation home win this one as Liverpool Football Club lost out again to Everton for top spot. We were back to scrapping for survival. Paul Walsh and Ian Rush bagged the goals.
1987/88: Lost 0-4, A good old fashioned, Christmas humping, actually, Liverpool Football Club humped us twice this season, and Peter Beardsley now looked awful in a red shirt instead of purringly, lush in black and white stripes!! He’d be parading silverwear however as The Reds won the league again with us in 8th. Liverpool Football Club had seen Ian Rush depart to Europe and brought in look=a=like, John Aldridge and he scored 2 here with Steve McMahon and Ray Houghton completing the scoring.
1988/89: Won 2-1 After tempting fate by selling all of our talented players, we were left with a heap of shite to take us down. However, that was not until we’d won at Anfield with the current hero, Mirandinha (celebrating with the complete wrong set of supporters) with the winner from the spot after John Hendrie had cancelled out Gillespie’s early header. They’d finish 2nd after a dramatic finale with Arsenal.
1993/94: Won 2-0 “United are back, hello, hello.” Keegan’s side did the double over Liverpool Football Club. Rob Lee and Andy Cole with the goals on a memorable and poignant day on Merseyside.
1994/95: Lost 0-2 Another regulation home win as United struggled without Andy Cole. Rush and Robbie Fowler scored for Liverpool Football Club.
1995/96: Lost 3-4 Liverpool Football Club’s defensive capitulation brought a jarring punch to their title hopes vs Crystal Palace on Monday night. I can only hope they feel the same as we did when the fuckers inflicted one of the worst felt defeats we’ve had the misfortune to experience.
1996/97: Lost 3-4 Just fuck, right off!!!
1997/98: Lost 0-1 This season would consist of Champion’s League games and an FA cup final, the league form was awful. Michael Owen would see to it that it would get no better at Anfield.
1998/99: Lost 2-4 This game was going swimmingly (Lord knows how) with a Nobby Solano rocket and an Andreas Andersson goal which just about sneaked in, but then Owen pulled one back. Karl Heinz Riedle, the cheating twat, then volleyballed the ball over his head and scored an equaliser. Things then turned to shite as the same 2 scored again.
1999/00: Lost 1-2 Alan Shearer’s header had cancelled out Camera’s opener but Janie Redknapp’s only headed goal of his life won it for the hosts.
2000/01: Lost 0-3 Robson was still finding his way of rebuilding United but we were thrashed at Anfield with a Michael Owen hat trick!!.
2001/02: Lost 0-3 Another grim, hammering at Liverpool Football Club. 2 goals for Danny Murphy, 1 for the treacherous, lying, whore, Didi Hamman.
2002/03: Drew 2-2 It was looking like a shit night in Liverpool again, when Hamman and Owen had put the hosts 2-0 up, but Gary Speed and Alan Shearer got us a point in a season which would see us finish above Liverpool Football Club in a champion’s league spot.
2003/04: Drew 1-1 A point on the final game of the season which saw us swap Champion’s League for UEFA Cup qualification. Shola Ameobi for us, guess who for them? Clue? He’s a little, cunt!
2004/05: Lost 3-1 Fuck me, this was bad one. Defeat, as per usual, but, Baros, Neil Mellor and an OG!! For good effect Lee Bowyer was sent off too. All of this after Paddy K had put us 1-0 up!
2005/06: Lost 0-2 Lee Bowyer sent off again….. Gerrard put the hosts 1-0 up and the formalities were completed when Shay Given helped a Crouch header creep over the line.
2006/07: Lost 2-0 Dirk Kuyt had fired the hosts ahead to no-one’s great surprise…… When Alonso took a punt from just outside Everton’s ground, Steve Harper’s legs fell off and the ball dropped in. Most Mags let out an array of explicative’s .
2007/08: Lost 0-3 Another rout, we were getting good at this. Gerrard, Torres and Pennant, but at least we kept all 11 on the field.
2008/09: Lost 0-3 Lost 3-0 again and sadly back to more red cards, Barton dismissed this time. Benayoon, Kuyt and Lucas with the goals.
2010/11: Lost 0-3 ZZzzzzzzzz. Another 3-0. Suarez, Kuyt and Maxi. Fuck off!
2011/12: Lost 1-3 We were actually winning (Agger OG) but not for long. Bellamy with 2 and Gerrard with 1.
2012/13: Draw 1-1 A battling draw, but it would have to be earned with 10 men as Coloccini was dismissed for kicking Suarez. This was probably as a result of the fucker giving Colo a right chasing, which included a fantastic equaliser after Cabaye had smashed in a superb goal to put us 1-0 up.
Liverpool Football Club Fanzines
The Liverpool Football Club way www.Liverpool Football Clubway.co.uk
BOSS Mag www.bossmag.co.uk
The Liverpool Football Club Way www.ttwar.net
Suarez and Sturridge will run absolute riot and you will be privileged to see it.
Liverpool Football Club 5-0 Newcastle United