MATCH REPORT: MARITIMO 0 - 0 NEWCASTLE

20/Sep/12, KO: 6pm, Europa League. Estadio Do Barreiros

What can I say about Maderia? Well it is a place that is quite placid and non offensive. A bit like a kindly old aunt it’s a bit Queens Park Rangers.

The trip was a bout of a planes, trains and automobiles!

Namely a train from the Toon to King’s Cross - then walk to St Pancras - then train to Luton Airport - then flight to Lisbon - then bus to other terminal - then flight to Funchal - then taxi to hotel.

What we do for Newcastle United?

The less said about the game the better as we proved beyond any reasonable doubt we don't have a strong squad beyond the first team.

They were never going to score all day and you could argue they were the better team!

Shola had a chance in the first half he should have buried and one in the second that came off the bar. Apart from that … nowt much.

Too many players went through the motions and others were simply not up to standard!

Overall this is a team we would have surely beaten had we played our first team.

The home games now become vital.

Top tip: don't drink the Super Bock as it’s rocket fuel!

CRAIG THOMSON