BLACK & WHITE DAY

If the back page of the Chronicle 27/4/06 warmed the heart (Owen on the way back and Roeder being a bigger man than that slug Allardyce could ever hope to be) the page 2-3 of the same paper froze my blood so effectively that my heart almost stopped.

Black and Fucking White Day? Nob off!

Using the retirement of one of the greatest living Geordies to promote a pseudo, municipal celebration at the behest of the fuck-wits who failed to win the City of Culture bid and the newspaper that phoned my mate up after his daughter’s death “for a story” is a fucking joke and drizzling the syrup that is CHARITY over it is a fucking disgrace.

It underlines all that has gone wrong with this nation and its national game since Gazza played the twat and cried at Italia 90. This Sky sponsored version of football as touchy, feely, joyous Super Sunday epiphany for the deluded masses has just got to stop.

I’ve had my fucking fill: Keegan dribbling like a mental patient over Ferguson, Tint Haired “Toon Army” Couples with their heads in their hands, Infant Schools opening early for World Cup games, The Sun sponsoring any non-league team to worm their way into the third round, Gerrard and his Charva cronies crawling through Scumseyside for 1,110 hours on top of a bus on News 24, Soccer AM and their non-chants, Eammon Holmes on 5 Live, Every fucking nob head celebrity having a team they’ve followed since birth, Celebrity Six a Side, David twattin’ Beckham and his stupid fuckin wife and kids.

Black and Fucking White Day? Nob off!

An idea no doubt conceived in Heaton and given birth to on the Jesmond / Gosforth border with faxes sent between Groat Market and The Baltic as the excitement of this puerile project saw grown men and women reach the point of self important arousal. “Let’s have our own St. Paddy’s day eh?” and so it’ll come to pass that the same in-breds will descend on Newcastle with Black & White foam hats and freshly bought team shirts to pack out the alco-houses (not pubs….never call these places pubs) of the Piggy Market.

But it’s for the kids….don’t be so nasty. Like fuck it is. If it was for the kids then give them the day off and put on free buses up to Longbenton for six hours of training and talks from Shearer and Co. to let them know that they care. They need to give something back after two seasons of shit.

Talk about papering over the cracks….

Another alternative? What about “Let’s Win Something Day” when we march on SJP and hold Shepherd hostage until he decides to act like a man and throw himself off the Tyne Bridge with as many members of the “Toon Army” tied to his fat little ankles as possible.

Black and Fucking White Day? Nob Off!

Big Duke