Coverage for the week beginning 10th July 2006... and a bit more

Well it’s back.  Sooner than ever, but nowt changes.  And by that I mean nowt changes.  Except perhaps the number of fit and available strikers in the first team squad.  We still need 2 more Freddie by the way.  We have done for ages, even before Owen went down like Bambi.  I wonder if he’s been paying too much attention to Shola during training and something rubbed off?  Just a thought like!

Anyway I digress already.  You see, nowt changes.  We begin with a warning from our illustrious leader to ignore the hype over possible incomings.  (Article) (Article)  It’s hard to take a comment like that seriously from someone with a phone under a sliver salver like Bruce Wayne’s with a direct link to Jim White at Sky Sports.  Just what message is he sending out?  Is it that we’re bust and have no cash ‘cos I let Souness spend it all or is it a genuine plea to stay calm and not get over excited?  I know what my money’s on.

Then again with such excitement as having a lad from Cambridge on trial (Article) and an on/off saga involving the international talent that is Steed Malbranque (Article) my heart can hardly take it.  What’s even more confusing is that the voice of the chairman, Alan Oliver, was busy getting us ready for a transfer “rush” (Article) or not as the case may be (Article). 

As far as Malbranque goes it was off (Article) and on again (Article) more times than a tarts knickers and how many times have we seen that happen with our alleged and even our not so alleged transfer targets.  Now I know transfers aren’t simple any more but we seem to do it like nobody else.  And as for Malbranque, anyone carrying the term “disruptive influence” (Article=) we can really do without, along with the “Carlos Kickball’s” Roeder was so keen to avoid signing (Article) (Article) when linked with Saviola (Article).

He wants “hungry players” apparently (Article).  Though I thought we’d tried that with Kluivert.  Or does he mean a different type of hungry?  Or perhaps he means Magyars?  Zoltan Gera mebbeys.  Who the feck knows?  I’m beginning to wonder if they do mesel’.  The contradictory messages continue.  We need Europe to attract players (Article), but are playing a waiting game just in case (Article).  So with the clock ticking on signings (Article) we’re moving for top targets (Article) but are wary on signings (Article) and it’s all Souness’ fault (Article) (Article).  Right Glenn you’ve made that excuse once, I’ll give you once. But that’s it!

So would the Intertoto game with Lillestrom (hoo, how de ye dee them fancy o's?) set the budget (Article) to allow say a £10million swoop for SWP (Article) or pave the way to give Willy McKay any more money (Article)?  Who knows but as every day passes it seems another target disappears; Fat Eddie Murphy (Article=) (thank feck), Bent (Article), Kuyt (Article), Ashton (Article) RVN and Defoe (Article) all seemingly off the list.  So just who is on it?  At this rate Kevin Phillips and Joseph Disiree Job by my reckoning.  At least “20 goal a season and I’ll be in the World Cup Squad” Shola is fired up for it (Article) despite his hip injury which at this rate may well require a prosthetic replacement (Article ).  Hmmm. Bleak.

So what about any outgoings as we do have enough dead wood.  Well Butt is still an arse (Article) (Article) his return the only down side to Birmingham’s relegation last season.  Boumsong, on holiday with melancholy and arse splinters (Article), may well be on his way back to France with Monaco (Article) or more likely Marseilles (Article=).  Take the hit, let the lad go and it’s best all round.  Oh and perhaps we as a club can LEARN A LESSON FROM IT!  Stark contrast to Craig Moore showing more than willing to return early from his holiday despite actually earning one by playing a few games in the World Cup (Article).  Let’s hope we see more of that form in Black & White this season, he certainly owes us that.

Meanwhile the Dyer media PR machine turns on, Titus Bramble making noises all week about his “mate” (Article) and two interesting and opposite views on the delay of his “return from injury” (part 248) by another month, making it September until we may (or may not…) see him in “action” again.  The positive “he’s on his comeback trail” good news story from who else but Luke Edwards at The Morning Dyer (Article) and the “injury jinx doom and gloom setback” story from everyone’s favourite Makem, Louise Taylor (Article).  Same story, different spin to suit different agendas.  Nowt changes.

So with captain Parker now at the helm (Article) (Article) (Article) the pre-Lillestrom build up was reasonably predictable.  The usual “we can’t blow our chance” story (Article) along with the call for old heads to help young ones (Article) and the building up of players filling the boots of our departed number (Article) (Article) (Article).

Typically we had a good ago at totally messing it up, rightly in my opinion booed off at half time and full time.  The reports are identikit as per but here are some of them anyway (Article) (Article) (Article) (Article) (Article).  We have left ourselves plenty to do in the 2nd leg, and I hope it isn’t just Luque who is due a change of luck (Article) once we get to the outskirts of Oslo.

Riding off the back of that, just to cheer us up like, came the news that (England’s) Michael Owen’s knee remains in an even worse state and so his operation has been delayed a further 6 weeks.  (Article)

(Article)  Another 11 games in prospect then, value that lad has been.  Almost as much as someone else on the comeback trail.

And so it is there I’ll leave it for now, with the final breaking news as O’Leary leaves Aston Villa (Article) to reassure us that there is at least one club in worse hands than ours.  We meanwhile have a new academy head, and good luck to him (Article) and have banned all first team players from playing golf in a bid to get everyone in better condition (Article).  Could have fooled me during the first half at the weekend.  Oh boy, it’s going to be a long season in every possible way at this rate.

NM