Coverage for the week of the 28th December 2005 - 3rd January 2006

What a bloody mess!  On the pitch.  Off the pitch.  The roads outside the ground even.  Everything that surrounds NUFC is, as reserve ‘keeper Steve Harper put it in a radio interview, is cursed.  A shambles.  An embarrassment made only just bearable by the plight of the village of the damned XI.  Indeed after them we are surely, once again, the laughing stock of the nation.  And really can you blame them?

We start with the club appealing against Bowyer’s ban for his sending off at Anfield.  (Article) (Article)  This seemed like an odd move for a player who was purportedly on his way once the transfer window opened.  Rumours of a certain central midfielder’s knee injury being worse than originally thought may change that.  Otherwise why else do any other club a favour by getting his ban overturned?  Also under scrutiny were the actions of Steven Gerrard in the fracas that followed Bowyer’s sending off.  (Article)  Of course you just knew nothing more would be said or heard.  And he’s even been let off with a stamping incident subsequently which brings back memories of a horrible 2 footed challenge at St James a couple of years ago.  Bowyer’s appeal, of course, failed.  (Article) (Article).  One rule for one and another for the Liverpool captain perhaps? 

With games coming thick and fast this festive season we were straight out of that into the build up for the Charlton game with a defensive crisis looming (again/as ever - even with fit defenders it’s a crisis) (Article), Robert Lee joining the legions of Souness critics (Article) (though how helpful shite like this from ex-players at such times is could be debateable) and Souness hitting back at aforementioned critics (Article).  As pointed out by George Caulkin, such chronic instability is the root cause of our problems.  (Article)  It’s just a pity a solution never seems to be forthcoming.

And then came the Charlton debacle. A game called off at the last minute.  (Article)  (Article)  In this day and age?  Oh aye – only at NUFC of course.  Not for us the excuse of a failed under soil heating which seemed to get Bolton and Blackburn off the hook.  Oh no our pitch was fine (Article) according to the referee. Which then started a vast round of buck passing.  “Not our fault” cry all involved!  (Article)  But just who was responsible for this series of cock ups that led to the postponement? (Article) (Article) (Article).  A postponement that was made far too late (Article) upsetting travellers from as far a field as Hong Kong (Article) and East London (Article).  Though I think firebombs and bricks would be something to really be scared about being thrown at your coach rather than snowballs.  The official club statement (Article) and this timeline of the events (Article) would seem to suggest that the person actually responsible for the postponement was NUFC safety officer Dave Pattison.  (If you had a bump that night in the snow I wonder should you be sending your repair bills to this man?)  If this were the case FFS can bleat on about his £100000 as much as he likes but I would have one question to ask Mr Pattison.  What did you not know at 7.20pm that you did not know at 6.30pm or even 5.00pm?  And why, once the majority of the fans were there could you not let the game go ahead (if I remember rightly the snow at the cup game against Chelsea last season was worse!)  and let the roads be sorted with the fans in the ground so that the journey home was not as treacherous as the journey there?  And when Northumbria Police were making statements asking people not to travel unless absolutely necessary ay 6.00pm shouldn’t that have given you a clue as to what was going on?  Not that the police want to take any responsibility either of course.  Meanwhile as one who made the trip by car to the vicinity of St James and was just putting his coat on in the Leazes Inn as the match was cancelled I feel I am in a good position to question Newcastle Councils’ assertion that the roads had been gritted that day.  (Article) Bollocks were they!  Despite their protestations (Article) you can fully understand why Charlton’s chairman was so pissed off.  (Article) (Article).  And never mind the minister for sport justifying his existence and sticking his nose in where it just isn’t needed (Article) (Article).  Having spoken to various sources who do not wish to be named the suggestion that whilst in the same period Gateshead council used 3000 tonnes of salt, Newcastle used only 300 tonnes, I would suggest the blame lies as much at their door as NUFC for having a Cleuseau like safety officer and not getting on the back of the council once the weather reports were made. 

And hen came injury to add to the insult. The Spurs game, memorable only for another dreadful performance and a broken toe.  (Article)  Of course no one but we, the people, give a shite about Owen ever playing for NUFC.  Oh no!  As long as he’s ok for the World Cup then that’s ok isn’t it?  (Article) (Article).  Even he was too initially (Article) despite remembering who pays his wages eventually.  What a joke and this time most definitely not of our own doing that we should lose such a key and influential (Article) player (Article) at such a crucial time (Article) (Article).  Giving Souness yet another injury woe story to hide behind in the process.  With Owen eventually deciding to go for the operation (Article) (Article) let’s just hope he has received “proper” medical advice and not listened to any of  the Charlie Carolli medical team at NUFC.  It’s all the fault of these new fangled lightweight boots you know.  (Article).  At the same time it’s yet another opportunity for the “Owen should have gone back to Liverpool all along” brigade to stick the boot in.  Oliver Holt (Article) and Paul Wilson (Article) the main protagonists this week.

And so we headed into the game against the beasts on a new all time low.  With rumours that differences of opinion on what constitutes a fit player was causing another player to fall out with the manager (Article), optimism was in very short supply on Tyneside.   With Souness 2 seconds from the sack (Article) (Article), it was left to Lee Clark to have the last word (Article) (Article) in a bloody awful game between to poor sides (Article) (Article).  Defensive shortcomings being pointed out from all sides yet again (Article) as Bramble and Boumsong continue to look more and more like Laurel and Hardy (no prizes for guessing which is which) and less like a Premiership defensive pairing.  And more injuries to hide behind (Article) too.  Bonus.  (Article)  I can hear the future excuses already. 

I’ll wrap this week’s reportage on the reportage up with a few other odds and ends that have caught my eye.  Firstly what is Alan Pardew’s problem?  He’s still whinging away (Article) (Article).  Get over it man.  Another man talking our of his arse yet again is David Pleat, this time on Alan Shearer (Article).  This man is given far too much respect for what he purportedly knows about football and has far too much influence on the game’s hierarchy.  Ever wondered why Ledley King was tried in central midfield for England for example?   Well guess who spent three weeks championing it before it happened.  Niall Quinn wrote a canny piece of referees and refereeing standards that infuriate all of us (Article) and finally the tf bunker managed to get a mention from Alan Oliver.  (Article)  We’re “influential” apparently.  Cheers Alan, the fiver’s in the post!

NM