Coverage for the week of the 19th - 27th December
 

Our relationship with the media has always been a love hate one.  They love to hate us.  It’s the whole reason why we decided within the tf bunker to cast a world-weary eye over the various vituperatory vocalisations voiced  (don’t expect alliteration every week, it’s Christmas and I may have had a beer or 3 OK?) by the fourth estate and bring them to you, wrapped up in a nice little bilious bundle every week or so.  This week has been no exception.  In fact if you want to see just how little time or respect they have for us, this week summed it all up.

We start as ever where we left off last week.   The unexpected and pleasing win at Upton Park (Article) (Article) (Article) (Article).  A hat trick for Owen (Article) and praise for our strike paring from the opposition manager once he had stopped his Wenger imitation (Article) and from Souness too (Article).  Shola was "Sho Relieved” (please find another one-liner that’s at least 4 times this season already man) (Article) after his momentary lapse thinking he was playing water polo left us with a sweat on.  No prizes for guessing who Shay Given was aiming his comments at (Article).  True grit and determination saw us through again apparently (Article) and after Owen winning the battle on the pitch, Shearer won it off the pitch in the Match of the Day studios (Article).  Interesting then that last week’s critic, fellow MotD pundit and “friend” of Graeme Souness, Alan Hansen, becomes this week’s supporter (Article).  Funny that.
 

“Scott Parker for England” remains the cry from not just the local press now (Article) but also the national papers have caught on.  Led by The Sun (Article) (Article) and The Telegraph (Article).  As long as it is not at our cost then fine, I’m more prone to be selfish these days, and provided he is doing the business in black and white I couldn’t care less about Ing-er-lund.   That said when the national side are crying out for someone to hold the midfield together and someone is making a difference like Parker is why he isn’t an automatic choice is beyond me.  His booking at West Ham meant he would miss the Liverpool game.  And how we missed him.  But more of THAT later.

Left sided players, one on the way out and one barely through the door, were the next topic of media speculation.  Lauren Robert firstly finally, and in his own inimitable Gallic way, realising that he won’t be coming back (Article) (Article=).  Now unhappy at Portsmouth he wants to go back to France and reckons everything is in place.  Except he forgot one thing, he is still our player (Article).  Twit.  This lad really is a piss taker extraordinaire.  I’m glad to be rid of him.  He could have had it all at NUFC. He has skill, pace and a blistering shot.  We’ve seen all of this.  We know what he CAN do.  It’s all about whether he WANTS to or not.  And all too often he was happy to blame everyone else when he should have been looking closer to home.

Meanwhile speculation mounted that Albert Luque, yet to show anything of the form that made us pay £9.5 million for him, was away back to Spain.  (Article) (Article) (Article)  Not so say the club (Article) (Article), he’s just been “un-Luque” (Article).  Arf.  Did that one come out of a cracker I wonder?  Possibly.

Souness has been well quoted this past week also.  From starting the tirade of complaints about the fixtures this festive season (Article) that was jumped upon by most Premiership Managers to comments about squad rotation (Article) (or should that be pulling names out of a bowler hat as has been suggested within the tf bunker).  And from backing his defensive pairing of Boumsong and Bramble (Article) (before promptly dropping one of them.  Or should that be rotating?) to trying once again to cajole Shearer into another U turn (Article) to seemingly and quite rightly in this scribbler’s opinion, deaf ears (Article), the manager has had plenty to say for himself.

Another manager making his mouth go and setting up the main talking point of the week was Liverpool’s Rafa Benitez.  (Article) (Article) (Article)  He played the press beautifully in the run up to Owen’s return to Anfield.  Oh aye, he knew they would bite as he covered his own blushes and boy did they.  Owen for his part has been refreshingly honest.  Looking forward to a return (Article) (Article) he was aiming for Europe (Article) and hoped the Kop would understand if he celebrated scoring with the same enjoyment he did as when he wore a red shirt there.  (Article)  He was probably even too candid and certainly played into Benitez’s mind games when he said he thought he would return to Anfield once he was set to leave Madrid.  (Article) (Article)  Perhaps we weren’t canny enough or perhaps the response from Shearer (Article) (Article=), Shepherd (Article) (Article=) and Owen himself (Article) wasn’t strong enough (but then again we’d have been accused of protesting too much…)  but the muckraking and general drivel that was forthcoming from the press was nothing short of a disgrace.

Take this from The Times for example (Article) or even worse this from The Guardian’s Michael Walker (not credited on line it would appear…) (Article).  We’ve heard all of this already.  The get out clauses (still denied by all concerned), the “he wanted to go to Liverpool all along” (yes, he’s already said that and we understand why) and all of that.  Bottom line is if they wanted him and Benitez had wanted him THAT badly they would have signed him they were European champions and had £7mil to spend on Crouch and I’m sure more again for Owen (Ed: here’s a mad suggestion – Benitez doesn’t really want him).  But a centre back was their alleged priority.  Who they haven’t signed yet either!  And we hear they have money to burn in January.  Or have they? And is that why their Chairman seems keen to schmooze with any American/Saudi/whatever who may have a few bob to put into the club?  Also recently conveniently overlooked.  It’s all a load of good old-fashioned shit-stirring at our expense and while so-called football illuminatii as Hansen join the bandwagon (Article) no amount of reason will have them dare put their own opinions forward when the safety of the party line, however wrong or disrespectful that may be, is the gospel from which they preach.

Of course we fucked it up at Anfield. (Article) (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,293-1959956,00.html)  (Article)  With Owen hardly getting the reception that Jamie Carragher said he would receive (Article).  Not that that will change anyone’s views of where Owen may be headed of course.  Arrogance and disrespect of someone who gave a hell of a lot to a club may just have changed one man’s perspective but let’s not let that get in the way of what sounds like a good story eh?  Steven Gerrard was upset (Article) but I wonder how gracious he would have been had we actually turned up and done something on the day instead of letting him boss the midfield and effectively win the game single-handed.  Cue 2 embarrassed Scousers in Mickey Quinn and Alvin Martin on talkSHITE’s post match phone in dealing with a load of pompous and conceited calls from the red half of Merseyside.  European Cups they may have, but class they never will.  And whilst Bowyer getting sent off isn’t news anymore really (Article) it was hardly a “hateful tackle” as described in this report (Article) and once again we suffer because of one man’s reputation and another’s plain ignorance of what constitutes foul play against a player in Black & White.  German haircuts, overly high waistlines and a God complex are not good combinations to be found in a referee. 

And so what to leave you with this week?  Continuing with The Guardian, their Fiver section (so-called amusing Football witticisms) gave their annual awards and the vitriol poured out against NUFC (or NUCC – Newcastle United Comedy Club – ha fooking ha) therein (Article perhaps shows why their writers don’t have the balls to do anything else that join in the “having a pop at NUFC is so much fun” club they have created.  Meanwhile David Conn at the same paper gives us some hope as he highlights the problems fanzines have when it comes to printing fixture lists (Article) something, if I recall correctly, the good people at nufc.com came across not so long ago.  Football?  Bah humbug!

NM