Coverage for the week of the 28th November - 4th December

I’ve been to the doctors this week following a nasty case of Geordie hamstring picked up after going me length in Leazes Park the other week. Or at least that’s what I thought it was. Turned out it was something else entirely that is also catching round these parts at this time of year, currently at epidemic proportions. SAD. Souness Affected Disorder! Apparently there’s only one known cure, and it doesn’t involve sitting in front of a light box.

How the hell do I pick my way through this week? Probably, one of the grimmest weeks in recent NUFC history. And that’s saying something. It started with the aftermath of a disappointing second half capitulation against a poor Everton side at Goodison Park, home of the overflowing urinal. (Article) going down with a whimper about sums it up. (Article) (Article) More identikit newspaper reports say pretty much the same thing over and over again. (Article) (Article) (Article) Of course there were plenty of excuses, again. Yes we should have had a penalty and blah blah blah (though why Alan Brazil on TalkSHITE spent an hour going on about Martyn’s “brilliant save” without correction from his Scouse co-host until he woke up/sobered up I do not know. Money. Old rope? Arse. Talking out of?) But we were gutless and allowed a team of bullies to drag us down to their level. Again.

Most post game discussion was of 2 incidents. Firstly Cahill and Babayaro both charged with violent conduct after a little bout of fisticuffs on the edge of the area. (Article) Which Babayrao won on points by my reckoning. Nice little jab. You’ll remember Cahill from last season, being allowed to kick anything that moved and getting Ameobi sent off for ruffling his hair with the girliest flick of the wrist since Larry Grayson. He’s the classic football bully, able to dish it out, unable to take it back. The look on his face after Baba clipped his nose was classic. Babayaro, injured and set for a short(?) absence, admitted the charge and took his 3 games like a man. Cahill, with the help of his club, denied the charge and was rightly still given a ban himself. (Article) Surely he should get an extra game given that the FA will do that for mischievous challenges to straight reds to deter all and sundry making appeals to every decision on the pitch. The ref saw nowt, did the sensible thing (for once) and told the off like naughty boys and kept them on the pitch surely that’s where it should stay.

Speaking of which, the reaction of the usual suspects to Shearer’s “elbow” on David Weir (Article) (Article) shows just why spoons like Mark Halsey look the other way when he is assaulted, for example. And then you get Steve Curry of the Daily Mail being ever so helpful in listing his “misdemeanours” (some of which are spurious to say the least…) (Article) and witless ramblings like this (Article) when he has not even been charged in the first place! And yet the same week he is described as one of the “jewels of the Premiership” (Article). Make your minds up then press corps, just what is he? Interestingly they aren’t saying a thing about England Rugby Union forward Lewis Moody copping a 9-week ban (conveniently stopping just before the 6 nation’s starts. Hmm) for an all out assault on half the Samoan side. (Article) And no mention of the CPS either. Funny that. But then again it’s Rugby and “all part of the game.”

And so onto Wigan, in the Carling cup. A “rotated” Wigan side (Article) at that. “EASY-UH!” you’d think. Even without Owen. (Article) Again. With growing concerns over his fitness/willingness to turn out on a regular basis. (Article) And with Titus Bramble defending Boumsong. (Article) Oh the irony. Laugh? Well you have to otherwise you’d be in tears. And we were close to it again after what was rightly described as a new low. (Article) Pathetic and utterly disgusting. Not just the defeat but the manner of it. (Article) (Article) (Article). Shay Given, a man whose continued loyalty to the club is now bordering on section-able, quite rightly pissed off. (Article). An apology from the manager (Article) and the usual “we’ve let the fans down” shite from random members of the squad (Article) (Article) (Article) isn’t enough to placate the growing unrest on Tyneside. I’ve seen some shite in my time but this was an insult that cuts deeper than many.

Souness on the brink? (Article) Oh aye! Defiant (Article) but with the dreaded vote of confidence from FFS (Article) (Article) a whole new complexion was put on the weekend fixture at home to Aston Villa, with both sides suffering embarrassing cup exits and both managers feeling the heat. (Article) (Article) (Article) And still no Owen. (Article) Frustrated (you’re not the only one mate…) but backing Souness of course (Article). The question was “how long can Souness last?” (Article) The spotlight also turned on the man who appointed him. (Article) (Article) But not to blame in any way at all cries Supermac (Article) who seems to have his own curious little agenda these days. I don’t know where he is coming from. Yes he has stumped up the cash but that doesn’t exonerate him of all blame in this sorry mess. Amidst talks of possible successors (Article) (Article) and mates like Andy Gray rallying round Souness (Article) we went into the Villa game with another added to the casualty list. (Article) Walker wrist perhaps? Just don’t get me started but at least this is one lad who can’t be accused of swinging the lead.

Villa then. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear! Saved by one of the worst penalty misses I’ve seen at St James’ for a long time. (Article) (Article) Leaving the pitch to a chorus of boos I think the team, the manager and the chairman are in no doubt what we think of it. (Article) Pathetic, again. (Article) (Article) Louise Taylor squirming in her “I scored at the Stadium of Light” pants over liver-lipped midfield thug Gavin McCann. (Article) Souness isn’t feeling the strain apparently. (Article) (Article)

In the aftermath of this debacle, one columnist asks why do we dare to dream. (Article) It’s something anyone from outside the region, or who hasn’t spent a lot of time up here can ever understand. Read Niall Quinn’s point of view on the goings on up here (and down the road) and you’ll probably understand a little better. (Article) But then again why let understanding get in the way of a good story?

Never mind Kieron Dyer’s on his way back. (Article) Part 287. Yawn. Believe it when you see it. And watch out for that dreaded slippy grass stuff.

I’ll leave you this week with Jose Mourinho’s “secret dossier” on NUFC and how he “masterminded” our defeat the other week. (Article) Boumsong and Bramble hapless and an accident waiting to happen? No goals without Owen? Parker holding the midfield together? Nah, really? As The People’s Macca points out, anyone who has seen us play in the last 6 months could have written that! (Article) Football genius indeed. Makes you wonder just what amazing insights his dossier on the village of the damned XI will contain. Keep the faith lads and lasses. It’s all we’ve got left. Again.

NM