Coverage for the week of 26th September - 2nd October

Who would have thought it eh? One week, two clean sheets!  That said it wasn’t for the lack of trying on behalf of our back 4.  I’ve lost count how many times Shay Given has saved us valuable points in tight games when our back 4 are ready to press the self destruct button.  You know that’s the one we keep at St James’ marked “Do Not Press” that is covered in enough fingerprints to keep Sherlock Holmes busy for weeks.

                          

Anyway the week started with praise after the 1-0 win over Man City, a win that should have been more comfortable that it seems on paper.  (Article) (Article) (Article) With Owen and Shearer in the side we’re a totally different prospect all together.  (Article)  N’Zogbia came in for more deserved praise (Article) and Souness was much happier with the look of the side.  (Article) 

Referee and self publicist Graham Poll worse some sort of new “open mic” system for the game in some sort of experiment that may have many uses. Apparently (Article).  If you can think of one other than some sort of sweary Christmas DVD release then I’d be happy to hear from you!  It’ll keep the bleep machine operator at Sky in a job for a while if it comes to wider use I suppose.

By Tuesday the build up to the weekend’s trip to Portsmouth was beginning with the “who’s in and who’s out and with what bizarre injury/ailment and with what excuse this time” ongoing.  The surprising first name out of the hat was actually not one of our own but ex-Newcastle striker and circus act Lomana Lua Lua.  With malaria!  (Article)  Cue a contender for Sun headline of the year (not seen on line but in one edition of the paper itself) - “Lua Lua has Malaria-laria”.  Well it made me laugh anyway.

Meanwhile we were assured that Dyer was fit (Article), (aye right), but that Emre and Nobby looked likely to miss out still.  (Article) (Article)  Safety first seeming to be the policy (Article).  I’d agree on this one, rather them miss one more game than come back too soon and be crocked for another 6 weeks.  We see that far too often at St James’. 

As we have no European concerns this season the middle of the week seems almost dull right now.  That said it’s better to be just getting on with things than finding some way to make the front pages I suppose.  So whilst talk else where is of Europe we just get talk.  This week it was Steven Taylor in the Evening Chronicle (Article), Greame Souness on Premiership management (Article) and the Zog on the Tyne showing that football clichés are alive and well.  (Article)

Jean Alain Boumsong was also well quoted this week (Article) (Article) along with Celestine Babayaro (Article).  Amazing how our defence seems good at talking off the pitch when on the pitch I sometimes wonder if they have ever met.  Ah well at least Shay is behind them to pick up the pieces.

Talkshite radio has been the source of much piss boiling for me this week.  As you will know by now I’m sure, the morning breakfast show with Alan “if it’s free I’ll have it” Brazil and Graham “I have it on good authority the Owen to Liverpool move is a done deal” Beecroft accompanies me on my morning drive to work.  This Thursday was a particular source of wonders and delights, so much so I nearly had to pull over at Easington Services for a lie down before continuing on my way.  Firstly they had Henry Winter on following the stale 0-0 Champions’ League game between Liverpool and Chelsea still whinging, with the assistance of the presenters, about why Owen didn’t go to either of the clubs involved.  Look he’s a Geordie now, get over it and move on.  So should The Independent’s James Lawton.  (Article) 

Then next up on Talkshite was their Spanish correspondent talking about Real Madrid’s “magnificent” 2-1 win over Olimpiacos.  I watched this game and Beckham was superb but the rest of the team very much not so.  Olimpiacos for their part worked hard but this was pretty much the side that we hammered over 2 legs in the UEFA cup last season.  Now weren’t they a pub team then with a fat and finished Rivaldo “seeing out his contract” when we played them?  Amazing how they change their tune to suit their story.  Rivaldo is still fat though.

This was then followed by UEFA cup chat.  Firstly Chris Kamara on The Beasts’ chances in Greece who spent most of the time reminding the listeners that the game was live on Sky, but not on any of their sports channels but Sky One.  A quick check of the listing suggests that they were obviously reluctant for ratings reasons to reschedule the ladies’ golf, the premier league snooker, the America’s Cup trials and the Rugby Club Round-up.  So Brainiac got the bullet instead.  At least any kids tuning in still got their fix of chemicals.  Next up was Everton’s chief exec on the poor pre-match ticket sales for their return leg against Dinamo Bucharest.  Despite Beecroft’s protestations a lot of people had been calling in to give the scouse makems plenty of deserved stick.  Also the cost of the tickets was being talked up as being “cheap.”  At £25 for an adult that’s hardly a snip.  £21 got you into Bar 1892 for the quarterfinal at St James’ last season.  Cheap my arse.  Mind the Everton bloke’s faux pas when commenting that perhaps the reduced interest was due to the quality of the opposition did make me chortle.  “You don’t get any big teams in the UEFA cup these days” he says...”erm except Everton of course” hastily added as the mic fades out.  Twit.

Also breaking on Thursday, and talked about at length on the above breakfast show, was the news that one of the partygoers at page 3 girl Lauren Pope’s birthday bash at the Funky Buddha club which ended in a bloodbath was one Jermaine Judas.  Pictured leaving the club at 3-15am  (Article) I bet Martin Jol and the Spurs fans were pleased with that.  Its still a goldfish bowl after all it seems.  And we're still watching you piss your career away and now you’re not here we don’t care.  Then again he still manages to make an England squad ahead of Scott Parker.  (Article)  Unbelievable!

The week ended as we went to Portsmouth with fresh injuries (Article) (Article) and without Owen in particular we looked toothless and frankly awful against an equally poor Portsmouth.  Unable to cash in on their chaos (Article) we end up once again with Given to thank.  (Article) (Article) (Article).   What would we do without him?  And whilst Souness wouldn’t swap him for anyone (Article) rumblings that he hasn’t been approached with a new deal are a concern.  (Article)  Get him signed and committed and give him a back four that he is a complement to and not a constant saviour of!  Meanwhile he had some words to cover Shola Ameobi’s blushes who looked much less than an adequate stand in for Owen.  (Article) Lacking fitness?  How about pace, touch, skill, ability, awareness, understanding of offside…?

Well that’s about it for this week.  I’ll leave you with The Times’ Tom Dart’s attempt to be amusing at our expense over the film Goal! (Artice)  He’s right about one thing though:  time was the ending would have seen us win The FA Cup and not just be ecstatic about Champions League qualification.  Also “why choose Newcastle?”  We wanted it more than Liverpool apparently.  Just like Michael Owen and they’re still whinging about that on Fleet Street!  Meanwhile we are apparently in talks with co-conspirators Real Madrid to arrange a friendly at some stage.  (Article)  At a time when managers, our own included, are crying out for players to get plenty of rest (Article) this is just one example of how juggling the business of football with football business is becoming increasingly difficult.  And I know which side wins, every time!

NM