Tuesday 16th August 2005

And another week ends its way in the ongoing comedic saga of Warmington on Sea United FC.  It’s still all jaw jaw and no war war on the transfer front but as ever plenty of rumour, counter rumour and suspicion as we finally enter into the campaign proper.  War speak, don’t you just love it?  Reminds me of the “Commando” comics I used to get as a kid, especially over the summer holiday.   “Achtung, Spitfire!” “Raus! Raus! Schnell! Schnell!” “Aiieee…”

Most of the media ramblings this week have been about Michael Owen.  Is he or isn’t he?  And I’m not talking about hairspray.  Monday brought reports that we had made a move for him  (Article) with Man U refuting any links to the player.  (Article) (Article)By the middle of the week plenty were beginning to have their say on what he should or shouldn’t do.  SBR, of course, is always ready to tell us what we should be doing reckoning that a move to NUFC would benefit the former Liverpool man.  (Article)  Meanwhile The Guardian’s Kevin McCarra simply wonders where it went wrong for Owen and stays firmly on the fence as to what and where his next move should be. (Article)  Then as the week drew to a close, it seemed as if our hopes of getting Owen to St James’ were fading.  (Article)  as FFS cancels a planned trip to Madrid (Article).  That’s if we ever really had any realistic hopes at all that is.  As ever talk remains cheap and while we are so short up front it’s time we were less than cheap on the transfer front.

Owen finally confirmed that he might be interested, provided Liverpool and Man U don’t come in for him.  (Article)  (Article)  Third choice then.  Great.  I’d rather you just told us to fuck right off than come out with something like that.  This and possibly the bookies making us favourite to land him (Article) seemed to prompt further verbal diarrhoea from Souness on our chances of getting Owen.  (Article)  Again it’s easy to tell the world who you are “interested” in.  I personally wouldn’t mind an evening in a hotel room with Catherine Zeta Jones, Dita Von Teese and a family size jar of Vaseline but that isn’t going to happen either, no matter how much I talk about it.  Just get the players signed and do all the talking you want afterwards man will you?

Elsewhere on the incoming front there has been little action.  Coco came, didn’t like the contract he was offered it seems (Article) and popped off again (Article).  With apologies for the breakfast cereal pun, at least we know now that he has no backbone and not after we have agreed to pay him top dollar for the privilege.  Nicholas Anelka meanwhile was rumoured to be ready to tell Fenerbache that he wanted to come to Newcastle and be on his way.  (Article)  Believable as it wouldn’t be the first time he has become “unsettled” and worked a way out for himself.  And perhaps the best reason why if he does leave Fener’ St James’ shouldn’t be his destination.  Thankfully in my opinion we confirmed by the end of the week that out interest in “Le Sulk” was over.  (Article)

The lack of incomings has lead to speculation that all is not well behind the smiles in the backroom at NUFC and tension exists between the manager and chairman.  (Article)  Souness reckons however he’ll still be in charge at Christmas (Article) and there is no problem (Article).  He never leaves the chairman alone apparently (Article).  My advice is phone him day and night until the cheque book is dusted off again, otherwise you can forget getting any players you want, just those you are given and we’re not having another Kluivert or Butt inflicted on us!

Outgoing transfer talk still revolved mainly around JJ and if and where he would go and for what price.  Chronologically, and from various sources the week went something like this; Arsenal “interested” (Article), Spurs “rejected” (Article), Shepherd will “let him leave” (Article).  Dyer, fresh from signing his new contract (Article) pleading with fans to give him a chance and not to “drive him away” (yeah, right) (Article) as Spurs are told we want £12 million (Article). If they’re mad enough to offer that snap their hands off.  Athletico Madrid were said to be “possibly interested” (Article) and Mihir Bose came up trumps again in The Telegraph with another little gem of a piece.  (Article).  The week ended with Spurs still “interested” (Article) and The Beasts wanting to use Viduka “as bait” (Article)  A plump piece of bait no doubt.  Newcastle to Middlesbrough; goldfish bowl to test tube?  Nah I can’t see it either.   So all perfectly clear then.  About as clear as Viana’s future as yet more potential moves away fall through.  (Article) (Article)

Away from transfers, the build up to the Premiership’s opening fixtures has seen plenty of comment from within and about NUFC.  Emre was bold (or some would say foolhardy) in his fighting talk about our last ever trip to Highbury.  (Article)  A fixture that is “tough” according to Stephen Carr (Article) who is now in contention for the 2005 State the Obvious Award along with whoever wrote this for the Sporting Life website (Article).  Alan Oliver reflected the feeling of a Geordie nation in his pre match verdict (Article) whilst Simon Rushworth must have drunk from the same cup or something as a wave of sense swept through Thomson House.  (Article)  Meanwhile 2 articles which both use a comedy club analogy from firstly The Times (Article) and then The Observer (Article) reflect just why we are so popular with the fourth estate and why no matter what happens on Tyneside we will always be worthy of national interest.  I only wish it were for footballing reasons, like actually winning summat!

Finally for this week, respect is due to Anorthosis Famagusta player-manager Temuri Ketsbaia, a NUFC cult hero if ever there was, for giving Rangers a game in Champions’ League qualifiers.  (Article)  I can’t see them turning the tie round at Ibrox but good to see him giving it 100% still.  One transfer link I didn’t mention earlier was Ukrainian unpronounceable Anatolii Tymoschuk.  (Article)  If ever you want an example of our club being used to tout a player around Europe this is it, in my opinion.  He’s been linked with us before you see, in just about every transfer window and as far back as 2003 (Article) This kind of “rumour” is getting beyond a joke for me and Sky Sports, and their website in particular, need to stop reporting every comment as fact as far as I’m concerned.  Then again it’s that hint of a possibility of a perhaps of a maybe that sometimes keeps us all going isn’t it?  Well, some of us anyway.

NM