Monday 20th June 2005

There something about this transfer silly season that reminds me of a pantomime. “He’s going to sign for you!” “Oh no he isn’t!” “Oh yes he is!” “Oh no he isn’t” “Oh yes he is!” And so on. That said after a season that went like some sort of Christmas theatrical performance that you wish you could laugh at but just can’t, I shouldn’t be surprised really. Finally though, after plenty of speculation we have got something concrete to talk about to add to the ongoing confusion and conjecture.

One of the longest “will he, won’t he” transfers was finally completed this past week when Scott Parker finally said “Yes M’Lady” and agreed to come to St James’ in a £6.5mil, 5-year deal. (Article) (Article) (Article) and (Article). There’s loads more links but you get the message from these! The response to the signing has ranged from those within the club being ecstatic, Terry McDermott for instance (Article), to surprise from some such as Oliver Holt (Article), to snide and unnecessary articles like this one from Sunday’s Observer, using the Parker transfer to have a go at the club (Article). A bitter Everton or Spurs fan’s point of view I wonder? The fact we remain trophy less seems to be the only weapon they have to use these days.

Parker himself has had plenty to say and has made an effort to say the right things. Whether the money has been the over-riding factor in his decision or not he certainly seems more measured in what he says to the press and how he says it. Not going overboard in his criticism of his “wasted year” at Chelsea (Article) but making his points in a more intelligent way than some players choose. (Article) And AFTER he has left the club, not while he was still there. It would also appear that our new player coach had a hand in the negotiations (Article) (Article). Shearer’s role as an ambassador for the club cannot be underestimated in my opinion. A point lost on his critics this week it would seem. (Article)

The other big definite story to emerge this week was the departure of Lauren Robert. In a typically theatrical manner it turned out he has gone to Pompey after all. Initially it seemed he was set for to Bolton (Article). Bolton were quick to deny this (Article) and, of course, they were right to be cautious as the enigmatic Frenchman eventually plumped for the south coast. (Article) Apparently he wants to have “fun” at Portsmouth (Article) and be “loved” (Article). Ahhh bless. Then just as we thought it was all done and dusted the final twist came, as no one seems to know exactly what sort of deal he has gone on. Is it a 3-year deal? Is it a one-year loan with a 2-year option? Is it Penry, the mild mannered janitor? Could be! Who knows? No one it seems. (Article), (Article), (Article). Not even Portsmouth apparently. For once I find myself in total agreement with Alan Oliver! (Article) I will always wonder, “what could have been” about Robert. I think he has a point about the quick flights to Paris. I reckon he’ll be on one as soon as Perrin is out of the door at a club that seems to be one of the few less stable than ours behind the scenes.

Now onto the less certain. Lee Bowyer was in talks with Birmingham last week with a view to a move. (Article) and (Article) However, following negative reaction from a section of their support (Article), (Article), it would appear that the move is off. Or is it? Much wailing and gnashing of teeth from Steve Bruce and David Sullivan (Article) would suggest that this might still go ahead. (Article) Where will this end I wonder? Your guess is as good as anybody's and keep watching this space. This one has a way to rumble yet.

Speaking of rumbling slowly on our link with Inter Milan’s Turkish midfielder Emre continues to gain momentum. The situation still remains unclear but we’ve apparently agreed a fee (Article), or not (Article) as the case may be. We’ve allegedly agreed personal terms (Article) (Article) or not. And we may or may not have competition for his signature. Ho hum.

Award for flight of fancy of the week goes to the suggestion that we are set to sign Luis Figo. (Article) Hmm, do we really need someone who is here for the money? We’ve just had that with the Dutch Fatfighter and I’m sure you’ll excuse my lack of enthusiasm. Yes a coup if it were to come off, but there are many who would be once bitten, twice shy.

Other transfer links this week are: Craig Moore (rapidly rebuked) (Article) (Article), the fantastically named Modeste M’Bami (Article), Brett Emerton (again) (Article), Benni McCarthy and some Serb bloke at PSG (Article) and Andy Johnson (again) (Article). The Sun had a little stir this week suggesting Jenas was huffed by the arrival of Parker and was off to Man U. (Article) Personally I think they and JJ have plenty other things to concentrate on right now.

Finally away from transfer activity this week, our manager has had a few column inches to himself. He has been fined and given a suspended touchline ban as a result of his criticism of referee Barry Knight. (Article) This is apparently his sixth fine in three years! (Article) And he’s supposed to be calmer these days. Apparently he has been haunted by his “season of pain.” (Article) He’s not the only one! He’s also worried about getting sacked according to the Sunday Mirror. (Article) Funnily enough he’s not the only one thinking like that too. Especially when his chairman starts passing the buck as eloquently as he has over Bowyer and Bellamy this weekend, speaking on BBC Five Live (Article). It’ll be another vote of confidence next if he’s not careful. And that would start a whole new pantomime within the ongoing farce that we all love that is Newcastle United.

NM