Match Report

Jesus, what a dog of a game that was. Our (ahem) “local” rivals, gave us a chance to make amends for last Sunday’s shocker and build up a bit of confidence before Thursday night all should have added up to a half decent game but instead we were ‘treat’ to a performance of such flatness and so devoid of ideas that the majority were looking forward to the final whistle so they could go and laugh at the twenty strong Boro ‘firm’ making tits of themselves at the bottom of Stowell Street (“hold me back man, hold me back!).

I’ll try and do the duty of a match reporter and report on the action but I’m struggling. I seriously can’t think of anything of note whatsoever that they did in terms of chances – Yakubu apparently vying for the honour of fattest, laziest footballer at The Beasts and coming out on top. Parker had a shot just wide and a header well saved for us - that is about that really. No obvious talking points, no shocking decisions to wake the crowd up, nowt. The atmosphere was dead, highlighting beyond all doubt the importance of the opponents to us – their lot seemed happy enough with the result over the course of the game mind.

It looked so promising as well – Roeder picking (or more accurately being forced into picking) the Zog and Milner on the wings and turning what looked like a bit of a more balanced side was a plus point but from kick off to final whistle, you’d be struggling to find many more. The Beasts came for the draw and offered absolutely fuck all, but at no point whatsoever did we genuinely look like breaking them down. The midfield pairing sat way too deep with Parker only coming to life and pushing forward too late on. The two wingers were shite, really. Charlie looked rusty and Milner had an off day with neither delivering a quality ball all afternoon. Titus became obsessed with the patented 60 yard ball to nowhere early on in the match and stuck to it all day, humping balls (along with Given) up to a pair of four foot three strikers with inevitable consequences. If that is our game plan, then why leave Sibierski on the bench?

Is it just me as well or does ‘Gooch’ have a slight air of the Boumsong's about him – shirt flapping in the breeze and a few looks of panic under pressure? OK, nowhere near that bad, but any better than Titus or Taylor? I don’t think so. Taylor looked canny actually and at least tried to get forward and create something but the lad is a centre half for fuck’s sake, not a creative outlet (Ed: that he is being moved from the middle to accommodate Gooch and Titus is a worrying development). Nobby tried to do something in the second half after a dreadful first period but just couldn’t spark us into doing anything with Dyer and Martins both having days to forget up front.

The rest of the league season is in serious danger of petering out into a trudge to mid-table mediocrity. The most depressing thing about the afternoon was the sheer awfulness of the standard of football being put out from both sides and the air of having not a lot to play or fight for. We look miles off UEFA qualification on this form and failure to get a decent result on Thursday could see the season fucked by mid-March. And then what – look forward to the summer to see who we bring in? Frightening.

Keep the Faith and Shepherd Out

Gareth Harrison