Dear tf,

Bloody hell I think the Journal and Chronicle with these stories about this Inter striker's age are just them doing fat Fred's work and buttering us up for the fact that we won't fucking sign anyone. And all this shit about Kuyt still being on the club's radar-what a load of bollocks, if we do sign anyone it'll be a last day of the transfer window panic and we'll pay over the odds for someone like Mikel Forsell two years after he had a decent season. This season will be shit.

Glenn


Dear tf,

Ref: Viva Hate – Big Brother

You really know what’s what! The recent one on Big Brother is shit hot keep up the good work lads

Tom Taylor


Dear tf,

Before anyone says this is just another “Wanker Toon Fan” or “So Called Pundit” having an anonymous pop at my beloved Newcastle United my intentions are not to put a downer on the coming season, the present team or even Roeder but merely ask some poignant questions why it is ok for all Toon fans to be happy with a good cup run, finishing in the UEFA cup spots or even just beating the great unwashed from across the water. Over the summer I have found myself thinking back to the great days when we were a force to be reckoned with, the good old days, Albert & Peacock unbeatable, Lee & Bracewell unbreakable and Shearer, Cole & Beardsley unbelievable.

Were and when did it all go wrong?

The Boardroom

Outside of all the corporate or personal appearances, visiting training, charity events, paper shuffling, watching football, checking on the cleaners or even making sure this weeks programme has gone to the printer’s can anyone please, please tell me what the hell Fat Fred does to fill his day other than counting his endless dividends, or donations that he and his gimpy sidekick feel are part of running a successful business…. I can hear a lot of the Toon faithful saying but he has backed us in the transfer market, worked hard to get the right players in, built a stadium to be proud of and invested well in our youth policy over the six or seven years. But just stop and think back to the early 1990’s when with the newly formed partnership of Keegan and Hall, we took the old second division by storm and then proved we could mix it with the cream of the 1st division/Premiership teams, team’s feared Newcastle United. We were challenging for the 1st/Premiership title, playing in cup finals beating teams by 3/4 clear goals. We weren’t the biggest spending team we weren’t the most gifted team, we weren’t even the best team on paper…. We had something that we are missing now.

Managers

Leaving Roeder out of this one I again find myself pointing my finger at the present board… Let just look back to when Keegan felt that leaving NUFC was the best for his career we have had a trickle of managers with I agree different qualities Dalglish had won everything as a player but made some horrendous managerial decisions and transfers, Gullit again a very successful player and some would say a good tactician but he lacked the common sense to swallow his pride and also filled the team full of average overseas players, Robson had massive success in Europe but in the end lost the confidence of the team and supporters, Souness had like Dalglish won everything there was to win and also he was a no nonsense manager when according to the press we need a strong manager to return order to the dressing room but again he found himself with the weight of 53,000 fans far too much pressure to bare.

Players

With a steady stream of average players passing through the revolving doors that are attached the NUFC dressing room we are in a position where we are finding it very difficult to put together a squad that we can guarantee will be here at the end of the following season… Its not the lack of money spent, its not the lack of support form the boardroom because frankly he hasn’t got much else too do, its not the lack of support from fans.

Newcastle United are missing two massive ingredients SELF BELIEF and PASSION…. NUFC needs your help with this one. Let’s ignore all the shite that is continually drip fed to us from Messer’s Oliver, Farrington, Rayner, Guilder and of course the daily filth they call the redtop press, who cares who is our next player IN or OUT because too be honest in my opinion Fat Fred doesn’t give a flying fart what the average supporter wants. It is our duty to help Roeder instil in the current crop of players and backroom staff a sense of pride a passion and of course the belief we can return the glory days to Tyneside… This season lets make St James Park the fortress that it once was.

Lets show in the only way we can with added noise, added support for the manager, added passion and added belief that second/third/four/Fifth best isn’t good enough anymore.

Keep On, Keepin' On ...

Ewan Stephenson


Dear tf,

Ref: Viva Hate – Big Brother

Fucking Brilliant! Agreed with every word - wasn't the Ebola Virus mutated for use on such wankers. That I would watch!

T Hall


Dear tf,

Ref: Viva Hate – Chelsea’s New Following

Try trainerstation.com or pilgrimsoul.co.uk for the adidas spezials. Samba man mesel.

Cheers

Marky


Dear tf,

So yet another target slips through our fingers. Kuyt will join LFC today. So that's Kuyt, Crouch, Bellamy, Morientes & Fowler they have & we've got er...Luque and Ameobi having lost Shearer and Owen. How pathetic are our management team?

Out-manoeuvred at every turn or are they just taking the pi$$ out of us & have no intention of signing a Striker? Oh by the way Roeder has confirmed Owen has NO chance of playing this season. We start the season far weaker than we were last season & we were Shite then. Pass me my service revolver!!!

Nigel Pearson


Dear tf,

Is it me or am I the only one who is glad we haven’t signed that little Dutch twat, Kuyt. I base this on my hypothesis that All BLONDE FOOTBALLERS ARE SHIT. That is not opinion. It is a fact. Frank Pingel? Mark Stimson? And another thing, blonde players have never looked good in the B&W. So bollocks to the blonde, very receding, fat arsed little tulip munching, clog wearing, windmill spotting twat, with your girly hair. If you can name a good blonde player I will get me cock out and smear it all over Niall Quinn’s head (perhaps not, he has had enough stinkers already). The Charlton’s don’t count as they were baldy nuts (and Geordies). My “dream club” doesn’t need little shits like Von Kuyt.

Alec Stuart

Ed: Jurgen Klinsmann? Pavel Nedved? Brian Laudrup? David Beckham? And er, Damien Duff?


Dear tf,

MAKE SOME NOISE!

The very words in the title of this piece still gives me cringeworthy, shuddering reminiscences of a ginger handle-bar-moustached local radio presenter patronising the shouty, bawdy, hysteric masses at SJP during the 92/93 season, when we couldn't have increased the volume if our lives had depended on it. However, when I look to the season ahead of us, sweating, rocking back and forth in the corner of a dark room, part of me thinks that the aforementioned carrot-top Alan Partridge-wannabe may have been 14 years ahead of his time. It's a well over-used cliche in football that the crowd can be ''the twelfth man'' or whatever, but I still seriously believe that at Newcastle this is still very much the case. It's not that long ago that visiting players and fans would dread coming to SJP, as opposed to nowadays when they look at it as an opportunity to upstage one of the country's biggest clubs, in their own backyard in front of 50,000, and then milk it for all it's worth. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning violence, racism or any of the people who deploy these sorts of acts of intimidation. I'm talking about, basically, raising the noise levels to a degree where anyone in the ground without black & and white blood running through them feel uneasy and unsettled. Pumping out the Blaydon Races (with the correct words!!) so loud that the away fans cannot be heard, no matter who they are. The cries of ''United'' being belted out so raucously and passionately that the opposing players' socks are turning a dark shade of brown before they even cross the white line.

This is a massive season for us, it can go one of two ways. Either we hang on to the coat-tails of the top six and try to improve on last year's finish, or we drift, unceremoniously, back down the table into mediocrity. Know we all know that, so far, except for the excellent aqcuisition of Duff, the transfer market has been dead in the water for us for a variety of reasons (i.e. the fat bastard in the boadroom wasting OUR money on crap managers, crap players, whores, pies etc, or tracking Kuyt all summer, waiting with a £5million bid when we knew Feyenoord would never sell him for less than £10million - especially after Kalou went to Chelsea).

In my opinion we're more-or-less stuck with what we've got, but it seems to me that Shola's confidence and aggression, Bramble's concentration, and Emre and Parker's creativity are ten times better when SJP is a cauldron of passion and noise. Easily the best atmospheres at home last season were the games against Arsenal, Everton, the mackems, Portsmouth and Chelsea. Spot the common denominator of those five games.

So lets have no booing or jeering ANY of our players (panto season starts in a couple of months, save it 'til then if you can) and sing your fuckin hearts out for the lads. The 50,000 at every home game and the 3,000 at aways must be the twelfth man. Come on!

Keep on keepin' on...

Mick, Winlaton Mags


Dear tf,

When Newcastle signed Shearer it was for £15m; a world record fee at the time. What makes Shepherd and Roeder think they can find a replacement in the £5-10m price bracket? Surely if you are replacing one of the best strikers ever, you need to pay the same equivalent now. They have known for 2-3 years that he was on the way out and needed replacing but yet no big money was put solely aside to replace him. How bad is that for preparation? Did they honestly believe Owen was the answer to the replacement? Owen has many qualities and he will be a massive player for the club, providing he can stay fit but he isn’t a replacement. He isn’t on the same level. He’s a replacement for Bellamy.

This whole palaver with Kuyt has really annoyed me. They watched him for the last couple of months of last season… he didn’t have a storming world cup but he is new to that level. They watched him time and time again in pre-season but did they even bid for him? Surely they knew last season what kind of player he is. Watching and watching and watching a player is not going to make him any better and stalling putting in a deal is only going to cost you. Look at Graveson… he’s now talking about joining Celtic because Newcastle are dragging their feet in making a bid despite the fact he is a player who while maybe not being a necessity would certainly lift the quality of the team.

Selling Boumsong this late into the transfer window is another move that is really going to cost us. Yes, we all know how rubbish he can be, but surely the defensive cover of Taylor and Ramage for Moore and Bramble is nowhere near good enough for attempting to break the top four like Roeder says he wants to. We have no left sided defensive cover either, and that is only going to come from Cole’s move to Chelsea IF it goes through. Carr is another injury prone player who sits alongside Bramble and Babayaro in the treatment room all too often.

This is going to be another panic buying summer where we refuse to pay 8-12 million for a proven premiership player (Bent, Harewood, Ashton) then go splash out on some obscure, un-scouted import for £18m or something, while we refuse to take a gamble on a championship player.. (Bent, Harewood, Ashton??).

I was quick to criticise the rumours surrounding Duff’s move to Newcastle for £10m… I got made to look silly when they practically stole him for £5m. Good business and a bargain for one of the first times ever from our enigmatic chairman. I just hope he can make me look even stupider for criticising this summer’s transfer stalling/failings.

Rachel McKenzie


Dear tf,

The 'Being boiled' feature (18th Aug) has finally stirred me into venting my spleen over the current crisis at NUFC. Yes, CRISIS!!!

I mean, what the fuck is going on here. I was one of the many who advocated the signing of Dirk Kuyt. In fact I was so desperate to see him sign for us because I thought he would be THE perfect replacement for Alan Shearer... we should have signed him last summer!! Living in Holland, I get to see a lot more dutch football than you lot back home, and it's actually not as bad as some (who perhaps don't even watch it) would make out. The matches between the top clubs are always high-powered passionate games, not unlike a Liverpool v Chelsea or Man U v Arse. Dirk has proved consistently over the last few seasons, for both FC Utrecht and Feyenoord, that he is a top notch striker. On a more personal level, he has a top attitude, feet firmly on the ground, and doesn't come with all the baggage (unlike other dutch strikers you could mention). He should have been our number one target, and we should have made sure of his signature before the World Cup or soon after.

Now, I don't believe one second that our inaction was due to Glen Roeder not being sure about him. Bollocks. A line that Glen sadly has had to trot out to cover Fat Freddy's arse. In my opinion, Fat Freddy thinks he's some sort of hot-shot wheeler and dealer, who can second guess his counterparts at 'little' clubs like Feyenoord. The delay in the approach for Kuyt was purely a case of, "Aye, we'll have him, but we'll wait until they're really desperate and we'll then get him much cheaper". Well problem is, yes, the price for Kuyt was too high, but Feyenoord didn't want to sell him anyway. It was only out of respect for a player who has been a fantastic servant to their club that they have agreed a lesser fee with Liverpool (Dirk desperately wants - and deserves - to play in the Champions League).

So we're back to where we were last season. Except that the squad is further depleted. We got Duff on the cheap, quality signing I'm sure, but I can't help the feeling that there's something not quite right about it. Last season we needed two strikers. This season we need two strikers. We've bought ANOTHER left-side midfield player.

This whole cycle of underachievement started when we qualified for the second group stage of the Champions League a few seasons back (Funny, that Feyenoord should be involved somehow). All that extra TV money we generated. End of the season? "Oh, thanks Bobby. Here, have this Lee Bowyer lad on a free. I got a canny bonus this year so I'm just nipping out to the Stock Exchange to buy some more shares for myself, so I can pay myself a bigger bonus next year!" Understandably our squad ran out of steam the following season, and with Fatty undermining Sir Bobby at every opportunity it was only a matter of time.

A top chairman would have said, "Wow, fantastic Bobby!! An extra £16m TV money. Well, here's 25 million to strengthen the squad and make sure we get in the Champions League again next season." Our chairman keeps his hands in his pockets until he gets in one of the worst managers possible, then let's him blow 50 million before sacking him.

This IS a crisis, because, although I firmly believe that Glen Roeder will do very well with what he's got, Newcastle United is fast becoming a joke club. Players and managers alike just don't seem to want to come to Newcastle unless there's stupid money being flashed at them. This is all down to Freddy Shepherd, the fuckin ARSE!! Calls himself a Geordie, but no Geordie I've ever met would want OUR club to be in this position. Have you noticed when you see him on TV watching the match, he never looks remotely interested - can't wait to get back to the office to have a wank over his bank statements.

After all that typing, I could have just said "SHEPHERD OUT!!"

Incidentally, I noticed that the NUFC share price has been steadily rising this week. Smells to me like Freddie is 'investing what he's earned from the club, in the club' (Of course, the club doesn't get the money, but it sounds good, doesn't it)

Mik V

PS: Pleased you got your technical problems sorted out. I was having serious palpitations without my daily dose of tf


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