Chelsea @ SJP - Monday 5th May 2008


As the curtain came down on our home fixtures this season, Chelsea were not the perceived threat that they had been back in January. In the bars before the game many believed that we could get something from this game, and I don’t think it was blind optimism in this case but a general appreciation in the turn around at the club.

The teams lined up with Faye being the only change, in for David Edgar, and maintaining the now familiar formation. For the first 50 minutes we held ourselves well against the cock-er-nies. Indeed in the first half we had some really decent chances to go ahead, with Owen and Oba both missing chances. It was 35 minutes before Chelsea threatened with anything of note, Ballack’s shot ending up more like a rugby kick than anything dangerous. We ended the half the stronger team, limiting Chelsea to long range efforts, while we managed to keep on pushing for a goal.

The half-time saw optimism up in level 7 with no real queue for a drink (well done bar staff, its taken all season but we finally get a drink in decent time). The second half started with the disappointment of Mark Viduka finally succumbing to the niggling Achilles problem and Smith (why not Carroll?) replacing him. Was it any coincidence that we looked the lesser team after that?

The free kick that led to the first goal was given away by Faye who got a yellow card for his efforts, although it looked dodgy from up in level 7 that it was even a free kick. Drogba took it and placed it straight onto Ballack’s head and past Steve Harper. Frank Lampard got a decent reception by both sets of fans, after the recent death of his mother.

Crap refereeing seemed to be the order of the day, Steve Bennett having absolutely no say on Chelsea’s actions. In the 68th minute Geremi took a free kick with Malouda no more than 5 yards away. For the resulting retake the toon army counted out his steps and the wall was still too close (tip to Bennett its 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 and then 10).

Geremi was then replaced by Duff, for no real reason at all, and the Irish midfielder had about as much impact as he has for any of the season. We had a good chance to level it though, with Oba’s shot deflected wide of the post by Terry. Barton’s corner saw Nicky Butt get the ball into the penalty area but Michael Owen was unable to connect for the goal.

Chelsea looked the most likely to score the next goal and 8 minutes from time they did. Enrique had gone off for Charlie Zog, and the defence looked shakier from that. Malouda cleared the back four and it was a formality for him to score past Harper. However Harper’s day was not quite over yet, and had he not raced from the goal line to pounce on the ball, then Essien could have easily been in for the third.

After the game, the usual lap of honour (to celebrate the magnificent fans that these players get to play in front of) was ditched for a lacklustre meander to the centre spot. Harper, Butt and Beye seemed to be the names being called out, however a special mention has to go to Damien Duff who stood with his hands on his hips, before moving faster than he has all season to head off down the tunnel.

Diane Pringle


Well it’s a shame we couldn’t keep the unbeaten run going but it was a big ask against the mean blue machine. Things of course weren’t helped when Viduka went off at half time but of his forward options on the bench Keegan took the wrong one and brought on Smith, Duff up front or even Charlie pushing Owen further forward would have brought us better balance than our goalless wonder failing to do anything as per, up front.

The first half was more of an even affair, with Chelsea in a lower gear and in need of a rollicking at half time, we gave them a good game with good shifts by everyone on the pitch, well apart from former captain united nations Geremi again not at the races. Taylor and Faye were solid at the back, Butt was immense in the middle and Oba was giving them kittens with his jet propelled boots.

Plenty of things to build on for next season, so long as some of this season’s really bad let downs are pedalled and consigned to the vaults of “as bad as” (Pingel for smith, Boumsong for Cacapá and Roz, Amdy Faye for Geremi or that may be a tad harsh) as for duff well I will gladly carry his bags down the road for him now for when he moves to the Mackems in the summer, wonder if he will be able to beat a premiership full back in go faster red and white stripes?

Some interesting quotes from KK, and much as bringing on Smith yesterday, I fear they are ill – judged. No I don’t expect us to waltz into the CL positions next year, but Everton have pushed the other Scousers close this season, and Everton are at best functional, they are certainly nowt special, if Liverpool are as inconsistent next season then with a fair wind to get behind a good start from us in the league and a bit of belief (coupled with some key signings we obviously need to make) then I don’t see any real reason why we shouldn’t be pushing the Scousers close come Easter egg time.

For my money we need to buy a goalkeeper (Carson will do nicely thank you) a 1st choice centre back, a creative centre midfielder (or help Barton find another yard of pace) and a centre forward as replacement for Viduka (crouch will do nicely) get Owen and Oba on new contracts, and fill in the spaces of the deadwood that needs binning, play 4-3-3 against all bar the top 4 at home, and we will be well on the way to European qualification before you can say “when has bill ever been wrong about the toon?”

Bill Kimage


Well that was not completely, unexpected. Was it? It would appear Chelsea at half time decided “Right, enough of this bollocks, let’s step up a gear or two” and duly did. For all our huff and puff, guile and quality is in short supply in black and white and the horrid, blue, machine are better than us in every department (And I include diving, cheating and generally fucking about here too).

Not helped by a referee whose numeracy skills are not advanced enough to count to ten or linesmen whose job descriptions appear to state their duties are to be a pest for 90 minutes, but let’s not kid ourselves...... We aren’t very good, really. At our best we are really nothing more than average. Martins’ movement resembles that of a fly. Always buzzing but in questionable directions, Viduka’s movement resembles a 3 storey Town House and the midfield’s distribution ranges from accurate to misplaced at any given time. If we are to progress next season then most of our players need moved on.

I respect everything Kevin Keegan says and he is one man who speaks in truth, therefore his indications that 3 or 4 players who don’t opt for the top 4 may come here does not bode well. Unless we are entering a 5 a-side league, we need at least 7 players who can make our first XI better and then better back up players to step in than we have at present. That is if Newcastle United are going to do anything at all next season. The list of players who should exit are, in my opinion Carr, Rozenhal, Cacapa, Geremi, Barton, Ramage, Ameobi, Smith, Duff and N’Dickhead. 3 or 4 new bods simply won’t do.

Now is probably a good time to reflect on our HOME campaign so looking back, whilst the football hasn’t been very good, my drinking, swearing, bladder control and time keeping have all improved in 07-08 and it is obviously a sign of maturity that my season ticket has not been A) lost or B) used to withdraw cash as I thought would be the case. Always room for improvement though.

At least the players had the decency to look embarrassed as they waved and clapped from the centre circle. Just once I’d like that to be played out whilst waving a shiny pot but at the age of 30 I’m probably going to have to write that off. I probably won’t opt for naming my kids after the Northumberland senior cup winning side.

*** Well done to Gateshead FC and South Shields FC for gaining promotions and providing some cracking football on the frequent blank Saturdays this season***

Chris Betts