So the end of another miserable and hopeless season is nye. We can finally go about our lives without being worried sick about what crap we are going to have to watch this weekend and which team of superstars is going to batter our bunch of workshy heroes. Gutting isn't it? I know we've watched some horrible, horrible "football" this season, but it doesn't mean I enjoy it any less. I meet the boys at lunchtime and sup down a few ales, and do the same post match before retiring to bed to watch the repeat of Jonathan Ross (or stay out to the early hours if I'm feeling flash). It's all great fun. It's the 90 minutes in-between that which ruined the weekend more often than not this season. There certainly have been more lows than highs, but to see us twonk the mackems, Spurs and Everton at home and also see 50,000 bodies combine to create a wall of noise like we did against Arsenal...for me, they are worth the ticket fee alone. Putting aside the disasters of the season (to save me listing everything off, I'll just say two words. Sam. And Allardyce) I've enjoyed myself once again, and nothing can beat the feeling of waking up on a Saturday morning ready for another day of torture/momentary jubilation. I want this game against the blue Micky Mousers out of the way so that we can start planning for our charge for 10th place next season. This match will do nothing for our position, barring a minor miracle in us beating Everton by 25 clear goals, and the Prince of Wigan beating his old boys, we will end up in 12th place.

Everton have somewhat more to play for that we do, with a UEFA Cup spot up for grabs if they manage to hang onto their 5th spot. Villa are 3 points behind with an identicle goal difference. Basically, if one team wins and the other looses, then they will qualify for the UEFA Cup. I have to admit to not giving two Brad Pitts about who claims 5th spot, but it'd be funny to beat the Scouse mackems and see Villa win. More to see their whingy little faces, plus it saves them humiliating themselves in Europe again. Andy Johnson is also a tosser. Arteta, Cahill and Vaughn all miss out through injury. The Blues are without a win in 4 games since their 1-0 defeat of Derby, and only have 3 wins in 9. The corresponding fixture last year, saw us on the end of a 3-0 hammering with even gypo Neville scoring a flukey shot from the car park. Earlier this season saw us see off the Blues 3-2, which saw a frantic couple of minutes of injury time when Given decided to give them a chance by palming the bal into the back of the net from an impossible angled shot. I just want this season to end, and end it does on Sunday. Finally, I can start buying every paper known to man to see which aging superstar we are set to sign. Happy days.

Team News

Injuries

Given: Groin, Returns: Season
Milner: still knackered, Returns: season

Doubtful/Unavailable

Caçapa
Emre: released for the Turks World Cup qualifiers
Barton: bail restrictions (I kid you not)

Suspensions

Faye

Cards

Butt 14 Yellow
Smith 9 Yellow & 1Red
N’Zogbia 6 Yellow
Beye 5 Yellow
Faye 5 Yellow
Barton 4 Yellow
Milner 3 Yellow
Emre 2 Yellow & 1Red
Geremi 3 Yellow
Taylor 3 Yellow
Caçapa 2 Yellow
Duff 2 Yellow
Owen 2 Yellow
Given 2 Yellow
Martins 1 Yellow
Enrique 1 yellow

Formation

Unless my sums are failing me, Faye is up to 5 bookings now after the Chelsea game, meaning he will sit out of this trip. I expect Edgar to take over his duties as he did against West Ham. Viduka may be missing also having finally caved in after playing through the pain barrier with his achilles. Barton is not available following his bail conditions having pinched some Scouse kids burger back in December. This leaves us with a thread bare squad. Other than that, I can't see the side changing at all, having made a decent effort against Ambramovic's Champ Manager XI, and some very impressive performances previous to that game.

Probable: Harper, Beye, Taylor, Edgar, Enrique, Butt, Geremi, N'Zogbia, Martins, Owen, Carroll

Bench: Forster, Diatta, Smith, Duff and Lua Lua

Player Form

Butt was again magnificent last Monday, as was Taylor who didn't give Drogba an inch of space, and kept him relatively quiet. Martins continued to run around a lot.

Expectations

Everton are there to be beaten. They haven't been fantastic at times. Better than us mind. I'd settle for a point, and a Villa victory to send these buggers crashing

Opposition Danger Man

Lescott can be a danger at set pieces. Then you The Yak and the shiney heeded diver who can also cause you problems. Thankfully, the snivelling little shit Cahill isn't playing.

Love to Hate

Would usually be Cahill for being Cahill. Since he isn't playing, we can laugh at Phil Neville.

Referee

TBC

Enjoy the summer

Keep On, Keepin' On ...

Steve Farrell